Spiritual detachment is the ultimate of it all Bud and for me learning that it came when my relationship with my HP was greater and grander than all other relationships and the characters of empathy and compassion stayed out front.  I didn't feel sorry...I felt complete; not needy or wanting and not affected by the unhappiness around me. My family rarely got a reaction out of me because I had none to offer and when I had to respond it was with respect and tolerance, mercy and margin.   Sounds like a saint?  not even...just a guy who was loving the peace and serenity more than anything else.   (((((Bud)))))  rest up sister self love is allowed.   (((hugs)))

Thank you Grateful- I slept well and awoke refreshed. I did another gratitude and asset list this morning and it occurs to me how empowering this is; my Aunt, Uncle, and sister choose to remain angry and selfish and I'm sure when they see me they see me calm and serene no matter how much they dump on me. My Uncle barely acknowledged me yesterday with the exception of a passing surprised look on his face. I think in his lack of understanding, he is surprised that I'm content with "so little"- it's like he views it as a challenge to see how well I do with less and less....The "so little" is actually my HP, who while not visible to the naked eye, is eternally present and anything but small.

Thank you Jerry-This is my lesson and I'm officially enrolled for the new level of spiritual detachment. I like that- respect, tolerance, mercy, and margin. Thank you for providing this focus. I'm feeling recharged.

Thank you el-cee- I'm trying to give it to my HP rather than to engage with my sister further. HP is so much better equipped than I'll ever be. My sister would love it if I filed in court for my baby photos- to her it just means she gets attention, and since childhood, bad attention to her is just as good as positive attention, so she goes for it. I'm guessing it's a combination of self hate and green eyed monster that has her so stuck. So far, I've been in court for 16 years trying to extricate myself from my exAH; I don't have much faith in the legal system because I've had to get court orders to enforce previous court orders. My exAH and his wife want to make me penniless and watch me slowly starve to death- I truly believe this is what they want. I think my sister, Aunt and Uncle would get pop-corn and watch. I thought it was the lawyers taking advantage, the legal system being lazy, and my exAH milking whatever he could- now I think that there is no one lawyer who is savvy enough to know how to have the legal system protect me. With my parent's estate and my photos, I keep telling myself that they are just things and I can't take them with me and they don't define my ability to have a wonderful life. I don't want to be a bitter person. My Aunt, Uncle and sister- their actions are completely on them and so will be their consequences.... sooner or later .... but, not to consider it my business. I feel that my purpose in this is to be able to act lovingly and still protect myself- it feels like now or never for me to get it right, but I will always be a work in progress.

I can remember sitting with my father's body alone in his room for about an hour after nursing staff did what they needed to do and I had been able to reach some of my sibs. It was an honor to "stand guard" and to wait on whatever would come next. Two brothers and one sister arrived and then four of us sat lined up against a wall in our chairs facing my Dad's body. We talked about Dad and things that we'd experienced with him. Then, one of my brothers began to joke about how he and the two others could find ways to cut out members of our large family from Dad's will. I simply listened and remained steadfast in my choice to be at peace with whatever went on around me. Both my Dad and I had received at the end of his life what we both wanted. He wanted me to be with him when he died. I wanted the same. The ways my sibs dealt with their grief if that's what they were doing was up to them. Dealing with stuff could come much, much later. The most important thing to me was keeping my promise to Dad, honoring his Spirit, and knowing that there was nothing I could do or should do to alter my sibs' reaction to a very hard time in life - the loss of our last parent who had been with us for so long. You are choosing to spend time with your parents in the final hours of your Mom's life on earth and your Dad's marriage to her and all that he has experienced with her. Your family are reacting to so much over which you are powerless. I am so glad that you recognize the importance of remaining loving and calm which can only happen with your willingness to allow your HP to give you the energy you need, the words to speak, the way of being present that is aware of your parents' hard, hard journey. (((bud))) We're here for you and with you, too, as you do your best to live each moment in loving kindness and gratitude for your parents who have done the best they can with what they've had to work with.