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For a few years now I've been looking on facebook for my TWO childhood sweethearts...Yea, I was the femme fatale who rode the big red horse who ran like the wind and was as wild as I was.....next to "Big Red" I loved those boys......I was 12 and they were the same age when we all started together.........Romantically, it was the only time I ever burned the candle at both ends, having to beus at the same time and it was the last...Too exhausting, LOL....They were my knights...one joined the navy at 18, so it left just the other "B" and me...
since 2009 , when i joined up with FB, I have found all but a few of my dearest friends.....my two knights I never found
One I will never find...Another boy whom i was friends with back in those days wrote me a private message telling me "I don't know if you know or not, but "B" died of alcoholism a couple of years back" ...He was a friend of his and told me how much "B" loved me and he related to me the same ole song about his drinking, never getting into recovery and dying from it....
so the stinkin drinkin got another one...."B" was a good person...Not a mean bone in his body....When I would run away, if the other "B" didn't rescue me and feed me, he would...Funny their first names were the same....And they were decent with each other in their mutual love for me...Class acts all the way...
I sure hope the other one isn't gone, but I am on a page where a bunch , I mean a BUNCH of us from our old town are on it...I just joined up on the page and this is how I found out the sad news......Haven't heard a peep about or from the other "B".....I know when we were kids, the one I am still searching for, we did "explore" some beer his dad had in the fridge...I thought it was nasty!!! He was undecided......I sure hope he is OK
So the one who is gone is free, now, from his cravings and his need to put more poison in his body...It made me sad that he went that path......I would have figured that the OTHER "B" would be the one I would hear about and so far, noone knows where he is or what he is doing....So who knows???
I am sitting here Christmas eve, thinking of times gone by and thinking what happiness I had as far as humans go back then, these boys had a lot to do with it...They were even "ok" with my putting Big Red first..
I remember being at the home of the one who is now gone and I was inside and Red was in their back yard, fenced in and he was happily grazing, doing a great job weeding their yard....Well, "B" couldn't resist the temptation to get up on my equine friend's shiny chestnut back, just to sit, he said and the horse reared up and bucked him off...Hes on the ground, sprawled out, flat on his back ,with this "oh crap" look on his face and my horse is just standing there and I am like "what the hell did you do????" and he grins at me and tells me "he just couldn't resist"......Crazy fool, I told him my horse would not let another ride him, but me....I wonder if that is how he discovered his first drink....."couldn't resist" "gotta try it"
These boys along w/my other friends and my surrogate parents and sisters made life bearable for me.....Now one of the boys is gone and one of my sisters is in a nursing home with alzheimers......
I am so grateful for the time I did have with them....
-- Edited by neshema2 on Wednesday 24th of December 2014 04:45:46 PM
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Wow,that takes me back to when I was a teen and some of my first loves.One of my very first is dead also,he was into a lot of drugs, he shot himself in his mom's yard.I haven't thought of him in years.My very best girl friend is also dead,she married an alcoholic,he started hitting her,she left him and was living with her aunt.He got drunk one night and crawled into her window and slit her throat,he is in prison for life.Rest in Peace,my friend.So much tragedy.
Mem'ries light the corners of my mind....misty water colored mem'ries of the way we were. "N" I use to live in the past a lot because the past then was my present and my present was soooo sick. The disease ran my life up until 79 when I found Al-Anon and now the memories are mostly awesome cept'n those spaces where I decided to touch the stove one more time to see if I could handle the heat. Ain't doing that again...ever...er just for today. (((((hugs)))))
Heaven doesn't have facebook for now, but all these friends can be seen again in Heaven and our time there will be so much longer than here, so in Heaven we can all be together with loved ones forever.
I guess this is the time of life where there are many we have known at various times in our lives who step out of the mortal world. It begins to feel like a long, long series of goodbyes after awhile. There is an old hymn: "Will the Circle be Unbroken" that comes to mind for me now when I read the paper or attend a funeral or send flowers or a card for yet one more classmate, co-worker, family member, friend or neighbor about there being "a better home awaitin' in the sky..." I don't know if that is true or not and yet it does remind me to make the most of what time I spend with someone and how I spend my time each day, too. Glad you had such good childhood chums, N. We all need those kinds of friends.
