25 years married to the worst/best man I know - Al-Anon Family Group

Hailey44 · Newbie

25 years married to the worst/best man I know

Green Eyes · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Hailey44, and welcome to this board. I have walked in your shoes. The only thing that saved me was showing up at an Al-Anon meeting and then learning what I needed to do to take good care of myself. I hope you can find a meeting in your area and try to go to at least six different meetings before deciding whether or not Al-Anon is for you.

The book, "Getting Then Sober, Vol. 4" by Toby Rice Drews was also immensely helpful and enlightening for me when I realized that my life had become out of control. I was married for 25 years as well when I decided that something had to change. Sending you a lot of support right now and am glad you have found this board- it's a wonderful and caring community.

GE

-- Edited by Green Eyes on Tuesday 23rd of December 2014 01:11:40 PM

-- Edited by Green Eyes on Tuesday 23rd of December 2014 01:11:55 PM

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

((Hailey)) I can relate. Welcome to MIP -you're in the right place and I'm glad you've found us. Alanon provides the support and new skills that help improve our situation. There are similarities in many of our situations, yet, each of our outcomes may be different. I have found the most efficient way to work this program is to attend face to face meetings, work the steps with a sponsor, and come here to MIP. In time, you'll come to know what works best for you. Keep coming back.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Hailey You are not alone -- Breaking the isolation caused by "Keeping the secret" of the insanity of the drinking is important .Finding alanon face to face meetings and attending will help you to regain your sense of self and well being.

We are powerless over alcoholism but we do have power over how respond and react to the madness. Alanon tools are extremely important in the process. Keep coming back .

cloudyskies · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Hailey and welcome to MIP. You have found a warm bunch of compassionate friends here who know and understand what you are living. I can only describe alcoholism as a demonic disease that affects everyone it touches, not just the person drinking. Like the others, I strongly suggest you seek out Al-Anon face to face meetings and attend. This recovery program is for family and friends of alcoholics.

Please know you are not alone. You didn't cause your husband to drink, you can't control his drinking nor can you cure him, but you can help yourself. Al-Anon will give you the tools you need to learn how to focus on you.

Take care of you, Hailey and take one day at a time.

Please keep coming back here.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I think alanon would help you learn everything you need. Lifes too short to ride it out waiting on an alcoholic to come to his senses. Proactive is needed here, do the alanon work for your solutions.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Find alanon.org or .uk online, find where it says, meetings. There will be one in or around your area.

yanksfan51 · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Hailey.

The best changes started happening for me once I got serious about Alanon--because I have been working on myself and not myself in relation to someone else. I can relate to your post; I was married for a long time also and it is VERY difficult for us to break out of habits that aren't really helping us.

Keep coming back

Mary

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.