The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so angry at myself for going to see the Alcoholic. I told him in text message I had enough and I really believed I was done. He kept calling me and I gave in and went and seen him and spend 2 nights with him. I heard all the I am going to change, I am going to get help, all lies, lies. After being on a binge for 4 days and nights, he called and said he was sober. I went and seen him. We went and did some grocery shopping, made dinner and had a quite sober night together. The next day, (sunday) I went out with a girl friend, church, lunch, and shopping. Had a great day with her. He refused to participate and just sat at home and watched TV all day. Very sad and depressing. I came back to his place as I was exhausted. He was still on couch watching TV and had gone out to get cigarettes all day. I went to bed as soon as I returned to his place, I was so tired. I slept 12 hours and went to work this morning. He called me in the afternoon and said he got laid off work today. He did not know what to do. He says he went shopping. As expected, he was drinking again. I got mad and told him I would not spend Christmas with him as I know he will be drunk out of his mind, like he has been and will continue to be. I told him I am making other plans and I am done with relationship. I am angry with myself for going back when I had make up my mind that I would not. I know he would but why do I keep checking to see if he is sober and stable. He will not be sober-this is Christmas and he will continue right till he drops. I am so angry at myself for going back and listening to the lies again. I however, did not take what he said as gospel truth. I just did not respond when he said, I love you, I am going to change, ect...That is a good first step. I just have to not go back to see him even if he says he is sober! One positive is I am seeing how depressing his life and home is...I just did not like being there, it did not feel like home at all to me..I have my apartment, and I feel awsome being here!
Have you been able to go to any meetings, Joker? I've learned that storming out in anger results in me returning to whatever I left in a huff. Meetings and the fellowship help me stop giving in to what I know is no good for me and a place to go to learn how to respond to an alcoholic rather than react to them.
Hi joker. I understand what you did. I've done the same things many times. We always hope they can stay sober and we want to believe them. But our job is to take care of ourselves. I just went on a 4 day trip with my kids and my AH was home drinking and sleeping the whole time. We are separated, but I knew this was what he was doing. He admitted it to me and verified my suspicions. Anyhow, I took care of myself on this trip and did not call him or text him to check on him. I detached big time. I love my apartment, too. It's ok for us to relapse...know it is normal. Just keep the focus on you and your happiness and look at this as a reminder of why you are done with him.
Been there and done that also and then did what G2B suggested...found a meeting and went ASAP. Keep coming back...forgive yourself and practice the program. (((((hugs)))))
