The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all and happy holiday. My AH gets out of rehab the 27th of this month. I am doing a lot if soul searching and to be honest I am not sure how to deal with our families while my ah and I try and figure out how and if we stay together. What I didn't realize is how our parents are so against us getting back together. When everything was going bad we both vented to our parents about it and now both sets of parents.
So how do u get the families to let us figure it out? Also, I am shocked that his parents are against me when I have done so much for him. He said that he is going to try and explained to them that his mind was skewed during his drinking but I actually realized when I called his mom to tell them he was in rehab she went off on me! I ended up hanging the phone up thinking to myself she didn't even ask how me and the kid were doing, she actually was blaming me for how her son has acted The past 3 years. Any advice would be great.
I have learned that sharing my stuff with a sponsor and/or a fellowship member is a much better choice to make than sharing with family members or some friends when it comes to my experiences with my As. It is normal for family members to side with their own kin - especially if they are not members of Al-Anon - and as a recovering codependent, I admit that some of the marital discord that happened between my x and me was due to me and my ineffective ways of dealing with the disease. Those are the issues I'm working on in the program.
I have learned to take care of myself first. This may sound selfish to you but I spent years putting others first and all it did was leave me anxious and depressed. With practicing my recovery work, I am often happy and peaceful when family around me is doing destructive things. Live and let live! Lyne
My mother in law went off on me too after 15 years of living in the insanity and we both vented to our parents which made resentments on both sides grow. Alcoholism effects everyone, parents, kids, marriages and anything it touches. Al-anon and A.A. is the only way to learn the tools that I have found to get better through it. Without it, you can explain things to people, but maybe you could recommend al-anon to them or some reading material. Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
