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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Turning him over....
Post Info TOPIC: Turning him over....
Truth


~*Service Worker*~

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Turning him over....
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I got an e-mail from the ex-A today. I am hurting him and our son .... Blah, blah, blah .....I read it and thought for the first time ... This is so not my issue. It is not my job to smooth this over "for my son". My job is to get some rest and be the best version of myself I can be. I use to feel crazy because he said "I was making up" these stories. My sponsor says "your a manipulator". Today, I thought .... If you want to waste your time with your sponsor talking about me, really it is none of my business ... Have at it!!! No the evidence is pretty real ... The police told me it is real. I am not sure what program that you say you are practicing that involves criminal behavior.

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Truth


~*Service Worker*~

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My HP and I decided we are not responding Now I am going about my day.... Thanks for listening !!!

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pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

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It's hard to hear that stuff from anyone. The words "You are hurting your son" would have a gut reaction even coming from someone who obviously has an ulterior motive. For some folks, AA may help them stop drinking but not improve character. That takes more work. Furthermore, sponsors aren't police or moral authorities. They will support their sponsees the great majority of the time and only call them out on stuff gently (typically) and when they are ready and able to hear it. So what a person's sponsor says is subjective AND only after hearing 1 side of a story. In other words, it's irrelevant to you as you already seemed to conclude.

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Truth


~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks Pink...it is hard to hear. I am with our son every day. I feed him, clothe him, love him, take him to his events, teach him sports, provide a house for him. I give his dad the access the court granted him. He tries to guilt me for the choices he makes. The most loving thing I can do is let him have the consequences of his own choices.

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PP


~*Service Worker*~

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I love that you and your HP decided not to respondsmile.  I am glad you affirmed your worth through your actions, non actions and words.  I am clapping in my headwink



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Paula
aquamom23


Senior Member

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Truth, the only downside of us being an online family is that at moments like this, we can't go get our nails done and flirt with the local barista lol. Truly, you are a wonderful mum who is giving her son not only the best she can tangibly, but also from within by working a programme. Of course he blames anything to avoid looking at his own drinking problem. Its what they do. Peter pan, Wendy called. She said to tell you, grow the hell up or don't bother dropping in again. Love to you dear Truth.

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aquamom23


Senior Member

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No sorry wait.let me edit that. Peter Pan, Wendy doesn't live here anymore. Maybe try Sylvia's mother! Lol.( the Dr hook song). (((Hugs)))

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Truth


~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you all of you. I was just frustrated got it out, made my decision and I will live with the consequences. I would love to get my nails done with you Aquamom!!!! (((Hugs))) My next vacation is where? Lol I got a life to live and a son to raise.

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hopes314


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I am amazed how the A react the same way to situation. They have these manipulations and guilt games down. I choose not to play.. I know the meaner they are the more they hurt inside. If I can keep this perspective, it is all about how they feel projecting onto you. Then I just let it go right through me and not listen. Since they are not the best people that you want to get advice from..

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I have hope that my next minute will be better and to learn from my last minute.
Lucers73


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Well done truth!! My ex told everyone he knew that I left him because I'm a slapper ( hahah! Chance would be a fine thing!! ) not because he was a nasty person when he was drunk that made me cry every night. They have these stories in their head that makes what they are doing to us ok, and they don't want anyone else to know the truth about them.
Good for you. I am just beginning my journey in here so I still reply to his messages then regret it :-/
Hugs xxx

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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Great teaching share Truth...this kind of share helped me to change my reactive behaviors and caused my alcoholic/addict to complain once when I didn't react..."but you've always done it like this"...took the word right out of my sponsor's mouth.   Don.T   react!!    Blessed and passing it back (((((hugs))))) smile



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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Turning him over....