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Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................
RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape. I questioned if that was a good idea. He replied that I must think he is a drug addict. Our therapist suggested that I hold onto the Perc and give him a dose when he was really in pain.
He started out on just tylenol and then asked for just one Perc before bedtime. Over the next couple days, he moaned about how bad the pain was and that he had to take 3-4 Tylenol, but never asked me for more pills. I had left the bottle hidden in a basket in the hallway. Well, we had a bus trip coming up and he was afraid that pain would get to him on the long drive. I went to retrieve the "hidden" bottle and lo and behold it was half empty.........I took it to him and said that I was not aware that the pain med plan had changed and he said that he didn't know what I was talking about since he did not take any on his own. They were taken within the prescribed amount but he did have the drowsy-loopy behavior
That left the suspect list at ......the kids, the cats, the dog or of course ME. huh well ( I really did good here with my Al-anon ) I dropped it --- knowing that being confronted with bad behavior the "A" way is to just lie. But the lie put a damper on the trip and now I have lost all trust that was built in his past recovery.
I really didn't expect him to tough it out with no meds after a big surgery but now I have been put back to square one and some of my old behaviors are rearing back. Heading out in a bit to a meeting.
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
I don't think it was a bad plan. I think you had good intentions. I've done the same thing in the past...trying to control his intake of Ambien. We agreed to do it. It wasn't fun. I felt like I was taking care of a giant baby. This is one of the many reasons why I moved out. Addiction is sad, and nothing surprises me any more.
Jillybean Remembering that we are powerless over people, places and things reminds me that I can only be responsible for myself and my reactions to the insanity of this disease.
Your motives were positive and now the best you can do is use your alanon tools to"Let Go and Let God and pray for the serenity, courage and wisdom to keep on keeping on.
I can relate to your concerns and your powerlessness over your husband's choices and the consequences of those, too. Regardless of what he does or did, I think you did a very good job of saving your breath with him without pretending those missing pills aren't gone. By letting go as you have, he may have to wrestle alone with whatever the consequences might be in taking pain meds and that could result in his taking responsibility for his health or lack thereof better than the real issue being deflected by an argument over who took the pills or when they might have sprouted legs and run away.
Oh thanks everyone, just got out of my meeting and feel so much better. Step 2 meeting and just what I needed.
My husband told me that his medication was upped just before his surgery and that he is calling the doc tomorrow as the dosage may be too high. I just listened and let him know that it is good that he is taking care of himself.
I am calm for today and have hope for tomorrow.
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
