The material presented
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OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to employment and fantastic hours doing something I love. I have organized the house to accommodate a nanny to help with the kids.my plan was to get enough stability so that when we leave we won't be homeless and poor. I have left before. Only to find that with my visa status no one could help us. Shelters people say. One woman and three kids under 4 in a room.with no entitlement to welfare. We do receive a small supplement. A family supplement which wouldn't even cover groceries and is diminished for single parents. And no contact provisions mean every little thing has to go through a lawyer I can't afford. This is ridiculous. I actually don't know what we are going to do. I feel strung out and powerless. Don't get me wrong. The marriage even sober is/was a lie. As in alcoholism is progressive. And I couldn't cope with a binge drinker where all is sweet than crash who is this guy? ! But practically we aren't yet in the best position to leave which I have been working on. Now my options are to accept this turnabout circumstance and sentence us to the poorhouse or fight to have it amended to my liking which puts me in a position of some what defending alcoholism. As in oh but he's lovely when he's sober. And all the enabling that goes with that is just awful. I know my third option is to get close to HP. But I'm finding that very hard in the face of fear. Prayers appreciated family.
He has to pay something whether there is an RO or not. In the States, we have Legal Aid which counsels folks for free. Perhaps there is a similar organization in that area? Either I don't remember or I don't know, but are your children citizens of Australia? If so, I'd think they'd qualify for assistance. Churches might be helpful, too?
Prayers aquamom, I know Mark has posted a few Women shelters that he located in your country I am sorry they cannot accommodate you. I do understand and pray that you consider your options carefully and make the wisest choice for your family. Possibly presenting your case as you did here might work well
Thank you both. No the kids don't obtain citizenship as a birthright, it occurs after seven years of continuous residence. Yes spousal support however in the a's trade its the last week of work and they get paid out now for the next two months. Its such a hassle this new dynamic, finances are entwined, we have joint accounts. The bills are joint the lease is in his name for this house. Its really not practical for us not to speak and I know he'd never attack me sober. Nor am I so mentally fragile I view a phone call as harrasment. Plus he's not the stalker type. Irresponsible , alcoholic, reprehensible when in blackout,but quite capable of paying his share when you ask and if he has it on him. I'm going to eat and sleep on it. Xoxo
I don't know what I would do if I were you....it seems there is minimal acceptable support for women and children who need transitional care. i know you will make the best choices for you and your children...wrapping you all in prayer.
You seem to stepping good with a good attitude. For me HP isn't an option or if HP was one HP would be first. When I'm stressed I don't respond good...I react bad. In support (((((hugs)))))
aquamom: Although my circumstances were different in many ways than yours are now this is what happened as I struggled to keep a roof over my kids heads, food in their stomachs, the utilities on - my HP showed up out of the blue in various ways and in various people along the way. I made the best of what I had to work with one day at a time and HP made up the difference in ways I could never have manufactured on my own. I never told anybody how financially bad things were for me and yet we never went hungry, never were homeless, never went without medical or dental care, never went without what we needed to survive. I didn't file bankruptcy even with very little income and was able to pay off the portion of court appointed debt within a timeframe of 3 years. I had few resources and few supports but I did have faith in a power greater than me who never failed or forsook me or my kids. Step 3 and Step 11 were major assists for me one day at a time.
I wasn't financially prepared to leave either,but I said a prayer,took a leap of faith and did it anyway.God is helping me with fear,I have to take some action and even though it is hard I believe I will find a way.I didn't know how I was going to buy presents for my daughter when a family member showed up at my door and took me shopping for her presents, I nearly cried.
I'm putting one foot in front of the other and hoping for the best. Trying not to be intelligent is the hardest thing dealing with these agencies. If I didn't have visible bruising I don't think I'd be taken seriously. No time to cry yet. Gotta get us up again. I don't know what it will take but I will find a way to keep my kids from destitution and no one is ever going to treat me like this again. Love to all.
