I guess when I voice how I feel sometimes it seems to change. I am starting to really stand up for myself. I don't feel intimidated by my AH. He is not the enemy. I can cope w/ whatever I have to. Since my mom has not been released from the hospital yet, I am very concerned. I have a lot of things that went wrong to take care of to help her recover from what she has been going through. I know I am powerless & have to accept the things I cannot change. I am starting to really see the things I can change. My mom is going to do what she needs to do no matter what. I think they are still trying to find a place to put her after nearly 3 months in the hospital--the state hospital. For all of you who don't know, my mom was committed by her own actions back in August. She is supposed to be in CA where she moved to in May. I have been dealing w/ her leaving & then returning after about 2 mos. down there. I finally was able to accept her move after she had been gone for a little while. Anyway, she decided to come back up here where she really wants to live. But she sold her house & really doesn't have a place to live here now. Her choices are limited. I can't take care of her as  she is now a resident of CA. I hope she finds a place where she is happy inside herself & where she lives. I don't have a clue what she is going to do but I am convinced that I really can't help her at this point. On & on it goes. She is even concerned too much about this van that she bought that I had to make a decision to take it back. I don't know how to handle the possibility that she might be really mad at me for making that decision. The reason why I did was because she didn't have a place to put it. My sister seems to be irritated too about the whole thing. Another long story. I am starting to feel a lot of stress about my mom getting released. I have no control. I am just waiting... I guess I will deal w/ this when the time comes.

I don't want to go on & on about all this stuff. I am just venting I guess. Things can change at any moment.

I cannot predict the future nor do I want to.

I guess I will just hang in there. I hope I can bear it.

Kathleen