Thanks Paula. It's hard today...dealing with my emotions around Christmas too. In a way, it's a relief knowing I really don't have a choice. I've tried to change his mind for too long. he has basically been living in our house rent free since June. It makes me ANGRY. He hasn't made an effort to keep the house, he wanted me to deal with saving it and help him by getting a loan from the state which would have ended up being a lien on the house. Before my dad died, he told me not to put AH name on the deed. Did I listen? Nope. Hindsight is 20/20. The best part is my AH junk won't be polluting the earth once the home is taken from him.

It's a house that has become like an anchor around your mind, heart and emotions. As much as you wanted to keep this house, your sanity is more important. No, you didn't listen to your Dad and you had no idea that this would be the result. I loved my parents and yet they couldn't see into the future anymore than I could see into it. I'm glad you are putting your foot down and insisting on getting what you want out of the house. He will try to interfere with whatever he can interfere with and the bank and the police can do what you cannot do. I'm glad you have a place to live with your daughter, NLG. It's sad he is so sick and yet his sickness doesn't have to rob you and the girls of a happy holiday celebration.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 10th of December 2014 10:04:46 PM

I guess I am thinking about my dad a lot. He helped me buy this house. I remember him saying "this house is so big, you will never have to buy another one." He was into buying real estate as investments. He left my mom with a good income because of it. He wanted me to own a house, not rent. However, if he were alive today, I know and my mom agrees, he would not want me staying in that house with AH. Maybe, if he was alive I could have stayed in the house and dad might have helped me pay the mortgage for awhile...but I can't think about the what if's. It just feels good to get it off my chest. I need to grieve, and let it go. Easier said than done. I appreciate you all here...I really do. I just texted an old friend about my situation and she didn't reply. Feels crappy. Maybe she is busy. Who knows. I am very sensitive today.

Dad also bought me a huge 80's style chandelier to go over my dining room table. He said I need a big light for a big house. Lol. It's funny...people hit their heads on it all the time. I don't know what to do with the light. Mom said don't worry about, it's out of style anyway. But my dad gave it to me. Missing him a bunch. 

-- Edited by Newlife girl on Wednesday 10th of December 2014 09:14:37 PM

Thanks Paula. You sleep well too. Thx for the hugs (((pp)))

 

 

You  might also want to explore debt separation...what is his and what is yours also what he has that has your name on it.  Why the suggestion...my alcoholic addict attempted to continue using my credit to keep her sprees going and also wanted to continue to hold me responsible for a car payment I co-signed for her (really addicted to the alcoholic/addict at that point...beyond smitten).  When the bank came after me for the payment I told them to go pick up the car and when she attempted to keep charging on my credit I told the creditors only my signature was authorized and they were responsible for bad decisions.  I also posted in the ad section of the local news papers 3 times in 10 days that I was no longer responsible for any debts in her name...That pissed off the addict/alcoholic and made my journey lighter.  You might also want to investigate the affects of a bk if workable.   In support.   Sad with you that this is happening.  Alcoholics traumatize easily when the stuff hits the fan and then they freeze up big time....not all some.  Hope he isn't trying to drink his way thru this one cause to an alcoholic this is "hard time".    ((((hugs))))

Oh, NLG, I understand. I live in my dream home today and I know I will be giving it up soon. My goal right now is to get AH out so that I can live here with our son and so that I can care for it properly so that it will sell in top condition. AH does OK taking care of a few things around the house, but I'm the expert house seller. I am really looking forward to moving on with my life, you are just a few steps ahead of me.

Sending you hugs and support tonight. It will get better and nothing (not even our feelings) are forever. Keep coming back, we love you!

Our house went into foreclosure twice. My AH was able to refinance it the first time in his name only (see were in the middle of our impending divorce at the time). The second him, after he refinanced it, he made one payment and then passed away suddenly. It's been two years now and the house still has not been taken back by the bank. My AD has been living there rent-free all this time and supposedly has not yet been served with an eviction notice.

The first pre-foreclosure is on my credit record, but the second one is not. One more year and the first one will disappear from my record. Then I can hopefully look into buying my own place. When I signed over the house to my AH, I agreed to take paper on what he was going to pay me for giving up the title to him. He never paid me a dime, but I now have a tax write-off for the next 10 years, since it's a capitol loss and the property is not worth what he refinanced it for anymore. Sending you lots of ESH right now.