What are these "slips" you speak of? - Al-Anon Family Group

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

What are these "slips" you speak of?

SunshineGirl · Senior Member

Hey Debilyn

As a double winner, yes that is my understanding too. You drink, the clock goes back to Day 1.

The trouble with a 'slip' is that it awakens all the cravings, so it is really heard to get back on the wagon. Which I think is why a one night slip can turn into months/years/forever.

A so called relapse is often actually planned. We drinkers tell ourselves it isn't so but if you track back a relapse, it usually starts a few days before the drink is taken. We stop our self care, we maybe miss a meeting, we don't check in with our sponsors/mentors, we don't eat right, we don't drink enough n/a fluids. So basically setting it all up. But then when the drink happens we are all 'surprised'! It is all the horrible denial we use to enable us to drink.

What has really helped me stay quit is to tell it like it is. Take away the smoke and mirrors around my drinking.

Anyways hope that helps.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Im always slipping debilyn. Its when my own sickness builds up usually because im avoiding some truth about myself and then out comes some old bad behaviours, then ive got to make amends and hope I work to move forward and improve. My old defective, negative thinking, its never too far away. Im a grateful member of this program.x

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Yes LC I agree an alanon slip is one in which I revert to old negative destructive thinking and behavior. Progress not perfection is a wonderful reminder.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

ODAT's reading for yesterday (pg 337) talks about a slip as being a relapse. So, maybe for Al-Anon's purposes both slip and relapse are the same?

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Debb...I was taught in early Al-Anon that alcoholism was a "compulsion of the mind"...and..."an allergy of the body" and a few sentences later it says "that we are as affected as the alcoholic in that we too have learned to act and react ..." In Al-Anon we use to never get chips because slipping was a daily and often more frequent occurrence which was seen in our negative thoughts, feelings and behaviors...I AA relapses are attached to actual drinking or using. If the alcoholic avoids the drink he/she still gets a celebration chip. While I have never lost the compulsion to drink, I have been able to remain alcohol free which maybe supported by the experience of having more actual face to face and meeting time in Al-Anon than AA. The measurements are different between programs. ((((hugs)))) smile

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

And since Jerry brought up Al-Anon no chip practice - I still think we should give chips. And no, Jerry, I don't want any cheese with my whine. I want chips. I want chips. I want chips.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

to me a "slip" in my codependency is a relapse but b/c i have had prior "schooling" USUALLY i can recover faster b/c I have had some "drill" thinking right....

if i don't do daily step 10, though, I can let these "slips" grow moss and then i am at square one, really....its like getting rid of the habit all over again from square one....

to have a coda moment and to regroup and work the steps on it, make amends, etc., isn't what i would say relapse, but a "progress not perfection" moment this being a definite "thank hp, i am not perfect" i am gonna screw up, "slip" as they say, but the good news, is if i am working my program, i can get up....start again...learn where i went wrong...what my weakness was/is and start over.......just my take, Deb.........GREAT SHARE, Lady!!!!!

cloudyskies · ~*Service Worker*~

Hey Debilyn. Since I am Al-Anon, that's what I'm speaking about. I have been in my program now for 7 months. Yayyy!! I have had slips where I totally ignored my program and reverted to my old behaviors. I recognized when I was doing this, but could not seem to get hold of myself. I did not totally relapse. I did not return to those old behaviors. I did not stay in that frame of mind. Thanks to my HP and Al-Anon, I'm now aware of my slips and can recover quickly. I am also learning from my Al-Anon friends to not beat myself up when I slip. After all, I am a work in progress.

I want chips too!! I have often wondered why AAs celebrate their sobriety birthdays, but we Al-Anon don't celebrate ours. Hey, when I have a year in Al-Anon, I'm gonna celebrate and do my happy dance and make myself a big white chip and put it on my wall!! biggrin biggrin

because I"M WORTH CELEBRATING!

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Now, those chip words and celebrating your progress are music to my ears, cs!!! I love it! There's two of us wanting chips! We have much growth to celebrate, too!!!!!!!!

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Grateful))))) LOL!!! then you won't get cheese with your whine...consider the consequences of that one...We can chip cause there are chips available for Noners also...just have to find a supplier maybe Hazelton has them. I think celebrating our anniversaries is a GREAT!! idea and I'm in for it. We should put our anniversary or start date in our bio's huh? wink

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Great idea, Jerry! All I can remember is 1979 as the year I first entered the program so I can't put in the month, too, although I do remember it was a warm day and maybe the Fall of that year? I'll check out chips for noners! Great suggestion.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Checked it out! There are Al-Anon chips! Wow! No group I have ever been involved in has ever offered chips or said there were chips for us. We can get month chips or year chips! Well! Our groups usually have an abundance of money. I'm going to suggest at a business meeting that we consider getting chips for Al-Anoners. One of the meetings I attend is right next door to the AA membership. There is always clapping and hoots and hollers for those receiving chips. Considering all that we have faced and endured and overcome, there should be clapping and hoots and hollers for us, too! My personal opinion, of course, but if the chips are out there, why not use 'em? Thanks for the tip, Jerry. I'm done whining.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I was asking about "SLIPS" not "CHIPS!!" lol lol

You guys are always saying he has had a couple slips, or the A tells you he has or she has had a couple slips....geez. ok whatever, if you are on program, you have ten years, you "slip" you go back to day ONE. so there.

I was talking AA not alanon. sheesh.

glad · ~*Service Worker*~

For me a slip was when I obsessed about someone else, wallowed in poor me (not the same a being gentle with myself). when I was am "all up into" worrying about stuff that is not on my side of the street, when I try to control others life in any way.

When I use stuff inside my head or my feelings as an EXCUSE and begin to believe that is what is keeping me from taking my responsibilities and I blame someone else for my troubles.

And a lot of other stuff.

THANK you for asking...even if this is all obvious to you or not what you may have asked, it made me stop and think about some of the things I want to avoid and what I am thankful that I am learning and relearning all the time.

Flower49 · Senior Member

From what I have learned from many people in long-term recovery specifically AA, there is no such thing as a slip and some have said that term came about when everyone in the world wanted to be more PC in talking about the truth of the reality which is it's a relapse....one drink/drug etc sends you right back down the rabbit hole. Once you pick up again, you start back as square one. That's from old-timers with many 24 hours under their belts and I usually believe what they say or think because they wouldn't have made it that far without some E/S/H

As for Al-anon, I think it's more like slipping in the fact that when you don't use the tools, the slogans, the program you slip back into your old ways or maybe a better word would be to revert, for me I don't liken it to relapsing as I think of that term as a medical term used in association with the disease of addiction.

Grateful: I was never aware of chips in Al-anon either and most of the groups I go to don't even ask about b-days, so I celebrated my year with my CODA group who doesn't do chips either but at least asks for milestones.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

And now we know, Linda!

Thanks, Debilyn, for the thread. I know it was about AA and slips but maybe we also needed to know about chips for Al-Anonics who have lived with and grown through the slips/relapses of our loved ones and/or ourselves?

Regardless - it appears Al-Anon sees slip/relapse to be the same thing in AA folks per ODAT?

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