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This is a womans question. I have started my changes, and have noticed I have a hair trigger temper. My moods go up and down and I do explode. I find myself apologizing all the time over the dumbest of things.
I have been trying to see it coming, count to ten etc. but I have to admitt it has been getting the best of me. When I blow up, boy do I! Does anyone have any tools or tricks to help keep the mood swings under control? My Dr has suggested hormone therapy, but I would prefer not to go that route.
It wasn't even this bad during any of my pregnancies. I don't know how long this will last, but I know I have to do something, I don't want my family (including my A) being my targets, or walking around on eggshells all the time.
I could really use some advice.
I did talk to my Mom about it, and her advice was they will get over it, you all did. By the time my Mom went through them, it was just her and my Dad at home, the rest of us could leave. I really did feel sorry for him a lot of the time, cause she was brutal at times.
Jeannie....I am the same way! I blow up then feel badly...cry then apologize for the outburst and the crying. I also hate being on hormones. I wish I could help but I am in the same boat as you are! I hope it helps to know u r not alone!
I am on hormones and have been for 8 years. They really help me. My dr. wants me to get off of them. I am trying, but am very uncomfortable on a lot of levels. Having an A doesn't help either. I cut back to 3 times a week, but in March when I see my dr. I will telling her that I would rather stay on them indefinitely and risk the negatives. Hopefully it will be my choice.
Come to think of it maybe my cutting back is why I am so distressed with everything right now.
Dear Jeannie, I'm so glad you wrote about your changes out here! My hormone changes are driving me up the wall! I have tried several things, and last autumn I went off of hrt after about 7 years taking estrogen and progesterone. If there are hot flashes, that is even more difficult, I think. The last 3 months I have been seeing an acupuncturist whose practice specialized in women's health. I suppose that is an option. She has put me on a "natural hormone" called "Phyto-B." She has gotten me to the place where the hot flashes are minimal, but I do have a hard time with anxiety during this time of my life, which is always difficult.
I tend to think we're "damned if we do and damned if we don't" about hormone therapy. Each new study teaches us something else. It's such a personal choice.
I will say this, even though some of these natural remedies can be found over the internet, I personally do not take anything without a doctor's orders, M.D. or licensed acupuncturist. And because I also take anti-depressants, I make sure there is no interaction that could be harmful. Especially because of my family background of alcoholism, I am extremely careful about taking things under supervision.
Don't know if any of this helps. There are also some good books on "The Change" out there. Good luck to you. Hope some of your days are less "edgy." Blessings, mebjk
Great to hear an update on your life. Very honest and showing how to detach with love.
For the change the most that I can offer is that it is real. I have tried many different things but have had the most success with alternative medicine - homeopathy, vitamins, calcium, etc. My mood would change from out of nowhere and the targets would be my children and my husband. I finally realized that a couple days a month were the worst and that I would just have to stop everything. I would go through the motions at work, come home and go to bed or take a hot bath or just sit there. Things have gotten better and I am finding that all of us go through it differently. I try to think of it as a gift to learn and grow. Have you read The Wisdom of Menopause by Christine Northup or The Sexy Years by Suzanne Sommers?
hi Jeannie lady, well I am on hrt. Have been for about 20 years. I have gone off and it is not worth living for me without them. I am serious.
You might try very light doses or get that hrt from health food stores. I tried that but again I was too miserable.
It may not take much to make ya feel better. I eat a lot of soy products. Mainly becuz I am lactose intolerant and allergic to dairy food.
um I have a fan on me all night, I hear ya don't drink hot tea or coffee, eat more cold foods, salads and fresh fruits and vegies. Lowfat is important too. Exercise is suppose to help too.
And lotsa lotsa s** lol if it were only that easy...
(c: I do know wearing cotton, light materialed cloths helps, nothing tight.
This is a very interesting topic for me- I am 45 and I have a lot of the symptoms of perimenupause already (hair loss, weight gain, facial hair,moodiness, irritability,sleeplessness, months between cycles, an occassional hot flash or night sweat but not too much). My mom started at 38 right after she had me she told me (she has long passed unfortunately). The irritability seems to bother me the most (and everyone around me). Sometimes I can just really snap at people for no real reason (also I don't smile a whole lot lately which really makes people uncomfortable). Needless to say it doesn't help me a whole lot at work. My mom suffered thru "the change" as she used to call it for about 10 miserable years. I am not in favor or hormone replacement therapy unless it is a last resort. Recently I came across a company advertising in the alternative medicine magazine for a cream that helps relieve a lot of the symptoms. I am waiting for a call from one of their representatives to order the product.
OOOOpps I walked into the room and just couldn't help overhearing the conversation and then I saw that it was all females and I started to run but then I remember in early recovery being helped to see my feminine side (by other females of course) and I just thought that somehow I was a bit qualified to continue to listen and maybe make a suggestion. If I may....okay? I cannot offer anything on various therapies, drugs (although I have done some of the anti "ds" which didn't work for me because of my physical makeup) consultations that women try. As for compulsive anger and rage I know much about that. As for flash anger and rage yep! As for oppositional, defiant, passive aggressive disorders...that to. How do I handle it today? I learned the opposites for anger...acceptance. I learned the opposite of frustration is patience. I learned to see others as more special than I had been treating them and saw the opposite of victimizing other as respect for others as children of God and people with great assets and worthy of my best behavior. I saw myself as this way also and stopped victimizing myself because I was also one of the easiest victims available and I did some pretty incredible things to take my anger and rage out on mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I learned to love myself and treat myself as I wanted others to. When I started to feel good about these opposites I started to practice them over and over and over so that they would become mostly subconscious and they have...and I am free...and people around me are safe...and my Higher Power is in control because I found out that doing this opposite stuff was my HP's will. So I'll just let myself out quietly and hope my experience, strength and hope didn't result in a steep rise in temperature. After all most of the opposites I learned, I learned from women just like you gals. Mahalo Nui (Thanks alot) ((((((((((hugs))))))))))
I have not yet experienced any of the symptoms associated with the change but have worked VERY closely on a daily basis with 3 women who have been going through it for the past few years. It is sometimes dificult LOL. Anyway they have used various methods but it seems that the alternative methods worked best for all of them. Vitamins etc ... I don't remeber them but we have a list at work of what worked better for each of them. It became a mission to relieve each symptom. I can check with them to get names of the best ones if you would like.
Other than that, simply telling each of us what was happening made things much easier. When I go in to work and someone says it is one of those days, I can pave the way for them just like they would for me on one of my days. It also explains why there are usually 2 women in the breakroom fanning themselves with thier shirts And knowing that each thing said is not really personal but may come from hormones makes it easier too. Al Anon principles have actually helped me on this, perimenopause may not be a disease but it is a medical conditional we do not have control of. Not an excuse for behavior but I can inderstand where it comes from at least. Best wishes to you.
I'm jsut starting with this, and have been doing a lot of reading. Diet and exersize are apparently important here (aren't they always) Fresh stuff, not too much caffiene or salt, lots and lots of exersize, stay away from food additives . I'm going to try these things first, befoe I go for hrt
Hi Jeannie I tried the natural stuff first when I was in peri-menopause but because my symptoms were so severe I had to go on HRT - definitely I was 100 percent better. When all the media stuff started coming out about the negative effects of HRT my doctor switched me to Livial which I believe is derived from wild yam and not as synthetic as the other brands. The best part was there was no weight gain. I am not sure if it is marketed in the US as the same name though. Jeannie you are such a sweet person I really think of the serenity poem when I read your posts. I don't think there is a bad bone in your body. Your family is truly gifted to have you around them.. Luv Leo xx
And knowing that each thing said is not really personal but may come from hormones makes it easier too. Al Anon principles have actually helped me on this, perimenopause may not be a disease but it is a medical conditional we do not have control of. Not an excuse for behavior but I can inderstand where it comes from at least. Best wishes to you.