The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I do tend to get stuck on inventory. I've done some terrible things. I really do need a sponsor so I can admit my shortcomings and move forward. Is this about responsibility? By that I mean, is it possible that through alcoholism, something that could have been great, got trampled into the mud,and I need to accept that and move on? In truth, I was an arrested double hitter,and against my better judgment I let me go back to a dark place I was CERTAIN I could never go again. Then I stopped,went backwards blindfolded, stumbling with one eye open peeking back to alanon. Now I'm here, and I think what's coda what's a, amends versus self respect....help. I know how I've been hurt. Equally I know how I have hurt. But part of me finds it easy to blame him. I want to detach with love,but not in the position of doormat. Esh? Suggestions?
Taking responsibility and forgiving oneself are healing, so the answers to your questions are probably, yes. Being with a sponsor to really listen and witness our pain is the bridge we need to process what we have done and what has been done to us. Your honesty here is inspiring. I hope I have heard and addressed your inquiries? I woke up a short time ago and my brain isn't yet full on
Aquamom I here you and thank you for your honesty and do understand your struggle At my favorite Step meeting, last night we focused on the 4 th Step and I heard many inspiring shares, To sum them up I would say that we all found that this step ,though it was difficult to begin, really helped us to see that we had many, many assets and that the negative stuff we did hurt us. That was the reason for the inventory -- To see what we were doing and thinking that hurt us so we could set ourselves free of the pain of the destructive habits we had unknowingly developed. Many of the defects and destructive actions were also just assets taken to the extreme.
Just having the courage to look within objectively gave us the wisdom to accept that we were all too human and could join the human race, We were not perfect after all and with that came freedom.
We also all agree that we have done many 4th Steps because being in program is like peeling the onion and all we need to do is begin and then move forward. We will work another 4 th step in time
I am glad you are here
Peeling the onion. Yes,that's very accurate. Damn onion has so many layers! I can only own my part and act accordingly
perhaps in itself that's the beginning of the amends.
AQM there is no need to think about amends at this time and with this step but you are right iit is the beginning of the amends you make to yourself.
All that we need to do here is look within and write down what we found. Then we move slowly through step 5- admit to god ouselves and another MOVE on to 6, 7 8 before we need to make amends .
one step,one moment one day at a time. By the time you reach Step 9 you will be ready.
Another important thing to remember is that we must list our assets because these assets will be the foundation of the new attitudes that will replace the negative destructive habits we will discard.
