Well i wasn't expecting anything but it still felt bad - Al-Anon Family Group

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Well i wasn't expecting anything but it still felt bad

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Glad you had a good holiday nesh, sounds lovely, no drama, calm, serene, good for you. Ive had to accept my children for all that they are. Your daughters relationship with her a father could be part of being affected by alcoholism. Some adult children seem able to forgive the as and have relationships but its their mother or the sober one they store resentment for. Im not saying your daughters feeling that way but her behaviour that seems uncaring and cold is most likely coming from being affected. Your powerless and theres comfort In that. Hope your back gets better.x

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm glad you felt good enough to go to work and shopping at GW. I'm also glad you had so many well wishers and a laptop as a gift, too! Wow. To focus on what is rather than what isn't - love it!

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

It does feel bad. I would have felt bad, too. Thankfully we can feel bad, yet be kind and loving anyway. Hugs for continued healing, Neshema.

cloudyskies · ~*Service Worker*~

I loved your share, neshema. You did a great job acknowledging your disappointment in your daughter, and then you let it go. Wonderful gratitude list. Sounds as though you have wonderful people around you who care about you. I'm glad you are healing.

Keep working your program because it definitely is working for you! smile smile

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

What goes around comes around N...that's what I've been told. Enjoy ((((hugs)))) smile

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Nice job taking care of yourself N Sounds like you have reached "acceptance" and that works !!! Glad you are here sharing

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

so glad you got love to help you heal. You deserve it. gw half price, wow!!

back pain is awful,well other than eating a dead bird you sound good. lol hugs chickie

aquamom23 · Senior Member

I never stop learning on these boards,nesh. I've been guilty of dropping off the face of the earth to my loved ones. The nice ones especially. Usually I think they are ok without me, or that I have nothing bright and brilliant to contribute yet. They always live in my head though. Daughter will come to learn, physical distance isn't emotional distance, and the permission to be present. Hopefully sooner than later. I like the sound of new books.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

el-cee wrote:
Glad you had a good holiday nesh, sounds lovely, no drama, calm, serene, good for you. Ive had to accept my children for all that they are. Your daughters relationship with her a father could be part of being affected by alcoholism. Some adult children seem able to forgive the as and have relationships but its their mother or the sober one they store resentment for. Im not saying your daughters feeling that way but her behaviour that seems uncaring and cold is most likely coming from being affected. Your powerless and theres comfort In that. Hope your back gets better.x

Hey ((((LC.)))))...I think it is that...shes mad at him, but taking it out on me.....oh yea, I have asked 1,000 times, what amend do i need to do??? what do i need to work on?? i did....and i was ready to face the feedback, but she insists there is "nothing, its just me" so i gotta say "ok , I am here if u want to talk"....so i agree with you..i think she is maybe taking it out on me b/c it is safe?? and i will understand??? oh well!!!! I am powerless for sure and i do get comfort knowing that with all my faults, i have done my best ....back is slow to heal, still can't bend over, but walking ok..doing stretches and deep tissue therapy....this one was horrendous...

-- Edited by neshema2 on Saturday 29th of November 2014 09:40:06 PM

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

grateful2be wrote:
I'm glad you felt good enough to go to work and shopping at GW. I'm also glad you had so many well wishers and a laptop as a gift, too! Wow. To focus on what is rather than what isn't - love it!

((((G)))) well, i went to work and only had 2 hrs., so your not gonna believe this...I missed my turn, not paying attention and I got LOST on a highway, had to reverse and just go back to my work street and start over....I was like "WTH????" temporary alzheimers??? dunno but i was sooo upset w/me....get to goodwill and i am all stressed out, and it was packed but oh man did I score on some great stuff....only felt up to 2 shops, but got some great stuff.....and yea, can you believe it??? this sponsee gives me a LAPTOP and its not cheap either....her son wanted another one so she packed it up and said for all i had done for her she wanted to bless me w/a love gift....omg..I was speachless....she is a total sweetheart.....

her story is so sad, I am glad i am helping her, validating her, yet giving her stuff to work on.......my daughter is mary poppins compared to this poor gal's daughter.....listening to her stories, i am thanking universe that D#2 is only rude and ignoring to me......

-- Edited by neshema2 on Saturday 29th of November 2014 09:39:45 PM

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

PP wrote:
It does feel bad. I would have felt bad, too. Thankfully we can feel bad, yet be kind and loving anyway. Hugs for continued healing, Neshema.

((((P))))) yea, it does feel bad and i am glad i can , thanks to alanon, be honest about my emotions......hope u r doing better

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

cloudyskies wrote:
I loved your share, neshema. You did a great job acknowledging your disappointment in your daughter, and then you let it go. Wonderful gratitude list. Sounds as though you have wonderful people around you who care about you. I'm glad you are healing.
Keep working your program because it definitely is working for you!

((((C)))))) thanks, I appreciate that....i did let it go pretty good this time, yea, it feels bad, but it is what it is.......healing slow...boy this spasm was a hum dinger as they say......i hope i didn't do damage to my spine....all i did was turn wrong and it went out like a mass blackout....ZIP and I am unable to walk....at least i can stretch adn walk now......yep, gonna keep working my program...it is my sanity saver

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Jerry F wrote:

What goes around comes around N...that's what I've been told. Enjoy ((((hugs))))

WOW...funny you said that b/c I was telling my cuz up in Mass all the well wishes i got being laid up and all and she said kinda that i put out love so i would through sowing/reaping would get it back...and here you are..........trying to enjoy the weekend, taking it easy, stretching....my dogs went nuts over their new toys i got at the GW shops.....loved watching them play w/each one and deciding on a favorite....(((((J))))) mahalo, my good alanon brother

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

hotrod wrote:
Nice job taking care of yourself N Sounds like you have reached "acceptance" and that works !!! Glad you are here sharing

(((((B)))))) i had to reach acceptance...its like acceptance doesnt mean i agree, enjoy or like, but i am just accepting that this is what it is...kinda freeing , it took me a while to get that in my head, but now i do.......i am soooo glad i have you all...this place is my sanity sanctuary....

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Debilyn wrote:
so glad you got love to help you heal. You deserve it. gw half price, wow!!
back pain is awful,well other than eating a dead bird you sound good. lol hugs chickie

((((((D)))))) "eating a dead bird" LOLOL....so how is my animal rescue buddy??? glad to see you on the board.....I had a ball buying toys for the doggies...they are like kids, and ya know??? they know when i have gone to the thrift shops vs the grocery store....and they are lookin in the bags for their "stuff"......big sister called me today to check up on me....yea, love rules!!!!!!!

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

aquamom23 wrote:
I never stop learning on these boards,nesh. I've been guilty of dropping off the face of the earth to my loved ones. The nice ones especially. Usually I think they are ok without me, or that I have nothing bright and brilliant to contribute yet. They always live in my head though. Daughter will come to learn, physical distance isn't emotional distance, and the permission to be present. Hopefully sooner than later. I like the sound of new books.

((((A))))) me too, (learning on these boards) if i go into it in a need to learn mode, i am reachable, and teachable and thus growing.....i think we all get into our "stuff" and we let time go b4 we say "oh wow..havn't talked to so and so for a while..." i do that at times....i try to keep up w/m loved ones b/c one loved one, a cousin, who was slightly retarded wrote me a lovely note and i didn't respond in time, i let "other stuff" get in the way of my writing him his letter and he adored me...well...he got run over by a car, never regained consciousness and died!!! I had not yet written him his letter and now that priveledge of owing him a letter was taken from me......

i vowed to never again let the weeds over take the path to the home of a loved one.......when someone is "too busy" for me and its a pattern, i just figure they don't want me very much and i let them go in peace and goodwill......

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.