I heard you..hope you feel better

Thank you Paula.  I know I'll have my serenity back after my f2f meeting and feel strength from what others will share and the in person hugs that are a part of that.  Thanks for responding (((hugs))) TT

 ((TT) sending you a double dose of hope.

hugs tt, at least you know to come here and spit it out!!well spill it, lol

Hey see holidays are something I won't engage in. I see too much boloney and don't need it. I feel so much freer taking things as they come. no expectations.

you will feel better. but for now just accept where you are. I get lost in some long going netflix thing like the walking dead, supernatural, etc was watching dogs with jobs, that was fun. takes me away.

come over and hold a piglet and get it tamed down for me. Just make sure ya got a pillow in your lap so you are not gouged with tiny sharp hoovies! earplugs are nice too.

Or  you could carry some hay out to the horses for me thru the mud.

always something to do here. NOW do you feel better? You could be me!!lol hugs again

Wow thank you (((everyone)))  I wasn't expecting so many responses to my little vent but I'm glad you did. Thank you for caring about me.

Holidays huh! lol  Oh well... mine was a good one all in all and I'm grateful for a lot of things.  The meeting and fellowship with my sponsor helped to center me again but to be honest only temporarily.  

Debilyn.. this is for you.  My thoughts were like turkey buzzards circling over my unmet expectations that had rotted into resentments. LOL Is that poetry or what??  Thanks for the invite incidently!  I enjoy those things.  I understand what you're saying about not engaging in holidays but I like holidays just need to not stray from my own personally created traditions around them that don't involve family members. I'm finding the more of those I create the more personally satisfying the holidays are for me. I think as people in recovery and families who aren't bf and I are going to have to be more mindful about not waiting for love and acceptance from anyone aside from our hps and one another.  People disappoint us and we have no control over what they do or don't do. I was just feeling a little sad about that. I do have a choice though whether I want to spend valuable "me" time (and really everyday is valuable "me" time) in reaction to that. When the calls don't come from family and they dismiss invitations to be family, I can say oh well... it doesn't mean I can't still enjoy the day. The nice thing about that is that it can be anything I choose and not what everyone else is doing because it's that holiday again. I know I've turned these traditions upside down in the past and maybe it's time to revisit that and reinvent again.

I appreciate all the unconditional love and support all of you sent through your posts. I hope Thanksgiving was a good day for you and you were able to stay present and enjoy life on life's terms with gratitude.

Grateful... thanks for asking about my new job. It is a better situation in many ways.  It allows me to work independently and it's very fast paced. People have become overwhelmed and quit but thanks to the tools of Alanon, for the most part I'm pretty calm and enjoy the interaction with the public and working toward a solution. There isn't a lot of time for coworkers to engage in gossip or oneupmanship. Is that a word? lol  I've been offered overtime and am grateful for that. Unlike my last job where the women compared designer purses and bragged about where they had lunch at company expense, the most important feature of a purse at this job is whether it's big enough to carry your made at home lunch to work.   

Thanks (((everyone))) for being here and for sharing with me.  TT