The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am a newbie to this site. I joined in hopes of getting some ideas on how to help my daughter. She is 28 years old and has everything going for her, a college degree, a good job, people that love her, etc.. However, she has a depression problem, which she won't discuss. And her answer is the bottle. Not on a get drunk daily basis, but, more of a when I do I drink to pass out. This has already affected her successful self and will continue too. Right now she has moved in with me, while waiting to start her new job, to replace the one she had for 6 years. She seemed to be doing well; well until I found her passed out drunk this afternoon.
Welcome to MIP 4 Horses, I am pleased that you found us and had the courage to share. Alcoholism is a progressive, fatal disease over which we are powerless. This disease can be arrested and never cured and the best hope for the person who has the disease is for them to seek help in the rooms of AA. We who live with this disease have also become affected by the negative happenings that we are forced to cope with on a daily basis. Al-Anon is a recovery program for family members who live with the disease.
Al-Anon has face-to-face meetings are held in most communities and the telephone number can be found in the white pages. It is here that I learned to break the isolation caused by living with the disease, developed new constructive tools to cope with and found a supportive network to share the journey.
I also learned that I did not cause the disease, cannot control it and cannot cure it. That the best help I can give to the suffering alcoholic is to take care of myself in a healthy fashion, treat them with courtesy and respect and allow them to suffer the consequences of their actions.
This is not an easy program and alcoholism is a dreadful disease to live with.
Welcome to MIP, 4Horses. I support all that Betty has shared. it is hard to watch our children make destructive choices. I hope you are able to find some peace for yourself...
You are not alone!! I'm a mother of a 22 year old addict. Who is now incarcerated .. As I've shared.. I I thought I could help my son and I did and said all for and to him but he needed to want to chose to continue with his addiction and all that landed him where he is at today.. As mothers we want to cure them from all but we can't. All we can do is love them and pray !! I relate and at one point I was ashamed mad and hurt but now I share because we all need support and be there to help us !! Many prayers ..
There is a wealth of support here for you 4horses if you choose to keep coming back and participating. Betty said what was said to me when I first found the program and it saved my sanity and life. My qualifier was an alcoholic/addict wife though I had not realized that I was born and raised inside of the disease. I struggled early on because the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups was so different than what I was trying to do and thought I had to do and then I came to understand that I didn't know and didn't even know that I didn't know what alcoholism was all about. Al-Anon and MIP are my daily support. Your daughter will get the best support also from those who have learned about their addiction to mind/mood altering chemicals and the whys and outcomes of it. Does she drink because she's depressed or is she depressed because she drinks.
Alcohol is a chemical depressant...learned that in recovery.
Keep coming back This works when you work it. ((((hugs))))
The first time my daughter got drunk, after she came to stay with me, I made the rule no drinking or you get out of my house.
Last night, when she sobered up enough to not be dangerous, I made her leave. Then I called the cops and reported a drunk driver. Living in a very rural area she didn't get tagged, and came home around 10:00. Since I am an early to bed person, I am sure she thought I would be asleep not cleaning the RV she is staying in.
We stayed up and talked till around midnight. She says she is fighting depression; but refuses to talk about it or get help, as I mentioned before. I have shared with her my stories of fighting depression and the benefits of a professional, but she doesn't want to hear it.
Just trying to hang in myself and stay strong.
Thanks again everyone. I know the importance of reaching out and having the support of others.
