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Post Info TOPIC: 3 gains.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1887
Date:
3 gains.


Oooh Catherine just suggested in a post the idea of looking at 3 "gains" we have made since deciding to move on. I like this idea very much and I think I'll add it to my daily al-anon exercises. It's a goody.

So here is my first one.

I have gained the freedom to be happy, or sad, or grumpy or giggly or sleepy or introspective or whatever I am...without having to argue about it or justify it to The Feeling Inspector. I can just be where I am, and live in my own "right now" instead of trying to carefully re-work and manage myself so as not to cause trouble.

I have gained the freedom to process and deal with difficult or stressful situations purely on their own merit instead of worrying first and formost about managing and placating a volatile alcoholic, or alternately having to hide difficulties from him so that he doesn't explode and make it all about him. My problems have literally been halved.

I know that I am pretty safe when I go to sleep and there is no immediate threat to my own or my child's well-being. I can now sleep with both eyes closed and that's a very nice way to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 



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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 7576
Date:

Woohoo! Love the gains you see you've made, sister!

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

I have gained some peace no more walking on eggshells
Living with ah.

I have gained my feelings, by being able to feel them openly
and honestly and then Letting them go.

I have gained control of me. No more seeking approval from
Someone else especially someone that is sick.

Those are my three gains


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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Serenity, courage, a true Faith in HP and wisdom .

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:

My grampa and I always sang too. So me and the kids always did. fuzzy wuzzy was a bear....pig and  a chicken and a dog and a duck and the cat and the rooster took a ride in a truck in a dumptruck.....stopped and the driver said its time to unload, so he dumped everybody on the side of the road.

and of course the piggy polka. lol I so get you kiddo.

OH you are reaping and noticing the miracles my friend. I am so happy for you and daughter cat and dog.

hugs



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 938
Date:

I really loved her suggestion too. Here are my 3 gains that come to mind tonight:

I can sleep better. I don't have to worry about what AH is doing in the middle of the night. I don't have to worry about waking up to find him drunk.

I have a smaller, cozier, cleaner place to live. It is more weather efficient.

I am not angry like I was when I lived with him. My kids tell me I am more calm. I don't worry about him as much.

Thanks for the great idea Catherine, and thanks MissMeliss for posting this.

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Living life one step at a time



Member

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Posts: 19
Date:

I took back what I hadn't even realized I had given up........

1. My self-worth.
2. My morals, principles and values.
3. My right to live a peaceful, drama free life while taking care of myself and my kids and not giving all that I had of inside me and outside of me so that maybe, JUST MAYBE, my husband would quit drinking and choose his wife of 20 years, beautiful 19 year old daughter and 18 year old son, marriage and business over alcohol.

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2200
Date:

So far I have gained.

1. An awareness that puts my feelings first
2. Two feet planted firmly on the ground
3. Integrity to speak my beliefs

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