The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For being in a house where one can sing a silly song at the top of ones lungs, and other voices will chime in from somewhere in the house. For example whilst I was cooking dinner tonight I inadvertently began quietly singing "one potato two potato three potato four" and a few minutes later the house was filled with voices performing it as some kind of awful raucous opera. After so many years of being shushed angrily and told to be silent it feels SOOOOOOOO good to sing and whistle and be noisy just for fun. Magic!
For being in a house that is often filled with laughter. And when one laughs, no-one angrily stomps down the hall to put a dampner on it, but instead comes running to see what is funny so they can join in. Magic!
For being free to come and go without having to explain myself or check in with anybody.
For arriving home and not being greeted with accusing looks that need to be interpreted.
For cooking a meal and having it received with gratitude and good humor.
For being able to laugh off disasters and deal with them together instead of being worried first about placating the angry one, and second about placating the angry one and then dealing with the disaster alone after the angry one has been placated and left the vicinity.
For all of the experiences that have lead me to a point in my life where I can appreciate these small joys SO much!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I have followed your postings faithfully since I found this board a couple of years ago. I always get excited when I see you have a new post. You write so beautifully and your sense of humor is like no other I have experienced.
I found my peace and serenity about the same time you did. Isn't it the most wonderful and blessed feeling?! Keep writing!!
Thanks all, and thanks for the encouragement LIG!!!
Actually I have been feeling really creative for the first time in many years, actually enjoying cooking, gardening and the like, and I am chewing over the idea of writing a book. I feel a bit excited about doing it actually, and I haven't felt excited about doing anything for a long, long time.
It IS a wonderful feeling, life is full of possibilities now instead of being full of duty and resentment and "what's the point".
Yay!
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Sounds good on you Melly! Your HP led you to the right
Household to get you healthy,happy and strong. You have
Achieved so much, do not look back only forward.
(((((YAY)))))!! Melie...just got through repeating this to another member and your post brought it back up into my spirit, "Free at last...Free AT LAST!! THANK GOD I'M FREE AT LAST!!... That is what my spirit screamed when the troubles started to fall away and disappear. Good on you girl...sing and dance. (((((hugs)))))
Sounds good on you Melly! Your HP led you to the right Household to get you healthy,happy and strong. You have Achieved so much, do not look back only forward.
+10,000
What a wonderful example of how HP will put us right where we need to be, if we will only wait for HP's timing.
It's funny how so many people told me, they were scared and worried and didn't know where they would go or what they would do once they made the choice to go out alone without their A...and i read so many stories here about how right in the last 24 hours, their HP opened a door for them. I actually felt a little bit hurt and angry, "my HP isn't doing that for me, that will never happen, i am actually going to slide down through the cracks and my daughter will go to her dad and I will just go down the drain and be dead-weight and useless forever". I had really given up.And then lo and behold, right in the last 24 hours...
Of course this isn't forever and it isn't perfect. The youngest son that lives here is not thrilled that I am here and it's a bit uncomfortable. I've done nothing to be in his way but he is a bit angry and has told his mum he wants me gone, he doesn't feel like it is "home" any more. His mum says, that's OK, he needs to learn he isn't the center of the universe and baby-birds don't stay in the nest forever! He keeps walking past my room waving his nose and saying "OMG can you smell that? It's DISGUSTING". She says, he is angry that she has another woman in the home and she is feeling bolder and not letting him walk all over her. I sort of agree but I am not in a position to say anything other than to change the topic. I am a guest.
So that's uncomfortable, and I am sort of in the middle of their struggles. That's awkward, and she does get angry and ask me to side with her about his behaviour, and he just glares at me and really doesn't like me. I have no place in that argument though. None at all. I pay fair rent to be here and I will leave if I am asked to. No way, no-how am I involving myself in a power-struggle.
So it isn't perfect, it isn't time to roll over and relax and enjoy life. I am just very, very lucky to have a safe place to re-group and a wonderful new friend to know and talk to.
I still have to find a home, and soon, but no-one is kicking me out or giving me a deadline. I am safe while I sort it out. That is a lot better than what I had a week ago.
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Now you'll be one of the folks who have a happy HP story to tell. One thing my HP has shown me over and over again is that S/He will produce the outcome that is right for me whether or not I trust Her to do that. My HP's love for me isn't conditional like mine or other human beings' love might be. HP will act in my favor whether I doubt or whether I trust. Its just that I will tear myself up when I doubt. I am at peace when I trust HP to do for me what I can't do for myself. It's always up to me which attitude I choose and the interior results of each choice are mine, too.
Nobody likes change and it may take time for the youngest son to adjust to your being there with your daughter. He may very well end up loving you as we have learned to love you, too, Mel. Of course, that is up to him and good for you in seeing that this is something his Mom and he will work out - or not. It has nothing to do with you given the looks of the stove and everything to do with them.
Who knows? Maybe your living there is something he needs to move out on his own at a distant point in the future? In my experience, daughters want to move out and on their own if they don't have an alcohol or drug problem. Sons - based on what I know about my brothers - have to be helped out sometimes. One of my brothers was 26 years old, college educated, fully employed and still living in his childhood bedroom when my parents sat him down and said: "Son, we love you. Move out." He didn't want to go and had no choice. He wasn't a problem child. He was an easy kid for them to have at home. Yet, he was 26 years old and too comfortable at home. They had to kick him out of the nest. He did fine on his own and found the gal who was to become his wife. If my parents hadn't pointed him to the door, who knows that he would have gone on to marry with kids to raise of his own?
Regardless of what they do or don't do, you are seeing you are in a safe place in order to regroup and then to find your own place with the help of your HP.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 17th of November 2014 05:58:25 AM
