Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> When I THINK I need someone "that bad" I need to trust and think again!!!
Post Info TOPIC: When I THINK I need someone "that bad" I need to trust and think again!!!
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:
When I THINK I need someone "that bad" I need to trust and think again!!!
Permalink  

 

don't know if I told you all

ANOTHER of my refurbs i was buying from this guy went down 2 weeks ago...it was my work machine....i was in a panic!!!! my quickbooks was on it, my tax stuff....disaster city...

i text the guy b/c i don't have time to fix it and he doesn't reply...its business hours so no worries, i CALL him and hes rude to me.....I told him i was getting tired of his nastiness to me and this is gonna stop...not gonna take it anymore...I had warned him before, that I would not accept abusive treatment...

I called my buddy across the street and he came RIGHT over and agreement was we would "pow wow" after my work day and get this pos working......it was the motherboard...the worst case scenario.....so, i thought a minute and thought....I got my  parlor machine i let the kids use w/same op system, and same age motherboard...maybe we can make 1 machine out of these 2 ....my buddy likes this idea so that is what we do...we strip em both down to the mother boards....Parts all over his living room floor.......Our goal:  To rebuild a decent machine out of the best parts on the good mother board.......voilla...i got a machine and had to reinstall QB, but all is working so far..AND i installed a sata card so i could keep the old, two hardrives on dead machine, so ALL data is recovered....NOTHING lost.....

I am thinking about this and thinking how rude this guy had been to me  (refurb guy, not my friend) and I am thinking  "ya know??? I need to have MORE faith in me and my friend "K" and TRUST that together, we are both decent techs, together we can tinker with machines and we CAN, i will help him w/his, he helps me with mine, kinda, sorta of a partnership  no money, just bartering like good friends do,  I gave him a legacy part i did not need, but he did and could not find, so yea, BARTER...Trade....Help each other....

so i emailed the rude guy and basically told him i was done w/his being so rude and nasty to me, showing me disrespect when in the last 4 years i have spent at LEAST $2500 on machines, parts, etc. on him...I kinda added up what i actually purchased from him and yea, I spent some decent money...Well???  Fella...We are DONE.....I told him that I had warned him in the past that he would "rude" me one last time and that would be it

I was thinking I "needed" this guy....Oh I just could not do w/out him and his lousey refurbs b/c i can't afford a new machine.....well guess what!!!! Where there is a will there is a way.....If I can't get over something, I will go under....Around.....I don't NEED someone SO bad I am gonna take abuse

like water...you ever watch water??? if it can't get over, it goes under, if that does not work, it goes to the right or left...not resisting, just going in the easiest , best path to get to its destination.....water...soft as can be, but can wear away a rock....i want to be more like water....this lesson showed me that i am doing that, slowly but surely

I wrote a nice email to this guy and just told him, i was not gonna "pay" someone to be rude to me.....that i wished him well, but i was going in another, happier , more satisfying direction....

My bully guy on Tuesday...the clock is ticking...soon as i do my visuals, and its right, I am sure  i will find a replacement for him.....i am sorry hes dying..i give him comfort energy all the time, but abuse i won't do.....my ad is out...i have told folks on facebook i am needing to replace a client....its only a matter of time....i can ride it out till i go, b/c i am only there 2x per month and if it gets so bad i just can't do it anymore, I will walk and just be careful till i can find another....the Wednesday guy is working out well, i am making decent money b/c there is a lot to do and i am worth it, they like and trust me there.....I don't NEED anyone so bad i am gonna let them take me down......Mr. Bully isn't  compromising my serenity b/c i stand up to him and I just don't take it...I cleaned up his wife's disaster re: vendor invoices pertaining to the inventory and non inventory issues, so  he has nothing he can complain about but he always finds something , thank HP he is not in office all the time...that is what saves me from leaving...just walking away...if he was in all the time, i don't think i could "ride it out" as i am doing now.....

I am learning there is another way...another avenue....if i reach out and network, share my story, trust in the goodness and renewing essence of life, not man's created chaos, but the universe....the universe's unfailing way of renewal...

I am facing the grey days of winter, it is coming...we are in our first cold spell....time for me to use these hibernating months to reflect...to cogitate on and give thanks for the good stuff i have learned....And like the bear, who is one of my totems, along w/the horse for my spirit connection and the african lioness for my "interdependence" on my safe others or my "pride mates"  I also have the sow grizzly bear for my motherhood, for my being ok in my solitude and for being able to , during the grey months, REST



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:
Permalink  

smile 



__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
PP


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3964
Date:
Permalink  

You are officially faith-filledbiggrin  I got brave the other day, when my friend and hairdresser didn't find the time to text me back when I requested an apt for this week, I made an appt at a new salon with someone I did not know.  I got the best haircut I have had in a long time....I am blessing and releasing my friend and welcoming in a new hairdresser. Yay!!!



__________________

Paula
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

eh good for  you. toxic people are not for me either.

so may I call you drip now? hugs!



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:
Permalink  

Debilyn wrote:

eh good for  you. toxic people are not for me either.

so may I call you drip now? hugs!

 Sure can, Deb....call me anything but late for the feed tub, LOL.......hugs back at ya....



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:
Permalink  

Okay. The drip thing is over my head. Explain, please.

__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  

 

 

Been hearing all kinds of spirit recovery testimonies this week.  So helpful to me cause I need to keep my trust and faith characteristics next to full.  Asking my HP, "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do and one of the places I get placed is here and in my meetings and literature.  It works when I work it.   Mahalo  smile 



__________________
cloudyskies


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 531
Date:
Permalink  

good for you neshema for standing up to the bully. I have noticed lately that I have more confidence in myself. Before Al-Anon I would not stand up to people and usually let things slide when I felt I had been take advantage of, but not any more! Al-Anon has taught me to say what I mean, mean what I say and don't say it mean. smile



__________________

Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold  O-on  P-pain E-ends

Linda-
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:
Permalink  

cloudyskies wrote:

good for you neshema for standing up to the bully. I have noticed lately that I have more confidence in myself. Before Al-Anon I would not stand up to people and usually let things slide when I felt I had been take advantage of, but not any more! Al-Anon has taught me to say what I mean, mean what I say and don't say it mean. smile

 Omg, I was a "super slide" one of those things you see at carnivals...i would "let it slide" then the anger would build and I would explode...now??? i stand up for me NOW, as it happens,  that way i am not like a pressure cooker waiting to explode...

I believe we teach folks how to treat us.....If I don't love and respect me, how can i expect others to?? how can i set boundaries and be listened to if i don't care enough about me to stand to my beliefs and feelings??? it just doesn't happen.....good on you, cloudy...not being taken advantage of......and yep, i am getting better at not saying it mean...THAT took a lot of work......



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:
Permalink  

grateful2be wrote:

Okay. The drip thing is over my head. Explain, please.

 hey (((((C))))))  when i said i wanted to be like water, going the easy path, over, under, around, where there is no resistence....like water......i had to think , too, but remembered my water analogy.......



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:
Permalink  

Jerry F wrote:

 

 

  Asking my HP, "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do and one of the places I get placed is here and in my meetings and literature.  It works when I work it.   Mahalo  smile 

 yep, Jerry, I was saying to creator,  "just do what you gotta do w/me....tell me what i need to do"    funny, you posting this when i was talking about this myself w/ great spirit, today.....and Oh yea, being placed here was a big blessing for me...I guess that is why i love to get on and give to others b/c i owe alanon/program so much.....



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:
Permalink  

PP wrote:

You are officially faith-filledbiggrin  I got brave the other day, when my friend and hairdresser didn't find the time to text me back when I requested an apt for this week, I made an appt at a new salon with someone I did not know.  I got the best haircut I have had in a long time....I am blessing and releasing my friend and welcoming in a new hairdresser. Yay!!!

 Hey Paula,  i got a bunch of wigs at a thrift shop, got on line and taught myself how to do my hair better...always used to do my brothers, and the neighborhood gang, but i wanted to learn the parts of the human head, how to cut in relation to the parts all being in sync , etc., how to get an even look no matter how i lift the comb, and so i experimented and got on line, got tips here and there and got quite good, so i have been doing my own hair since, gee....2002 or so???? I just did my hair a while ago.....i wet it really good, part in the center, i don't divide the 5 sides anymore, bc I am so used to my own head and where the front, crown, nape and sides would be so I  just work from my center part, with lots of mirrors, sharp scissors and i cut it 2.5" all around with the sides maybe an inch or so then point cut  to make it look smooth and blended  and it does thin it b/c my hair is so thick...point cutting i can get more creative with rather then the thinning shears.....my hair grows SO fast, i have to cut it every other week...it would cost me to death to see a hair dresser, although there is this little oriental gal, once in a while I go see just for a treat for me, but till this door is paid off.....its do it myself..........I am glad u got a good cut w/someone else....  she snoozes  she loses (old hairdresser)  when customer calls, I always get back ASAP unless it is way after hours and i am on my time..then i call in AM....so good on you....if  plan A isn't there??? Plan B is.......



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
bud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2081
Date:
Permalink  

Good topic Neshema. So often I have bonded myself to the thought of needing some one or something and, after so much energy and angst, I was wrong- completely wrong. People in my life come and go, some stay- and- when I'm feeling loss from those who were just passing through, I am reminded to ground myself in Alanon, MIP, strengthen my relationship with my HP.

__________________
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:
Permalink  

bud wrote:

Good topic Neshema. So often I have bonded myself to the thought of needing some one or something and, after so much energy and angst, I was wrong- completely wrong. People in my life come and go, some stay- and- when I'm feeling loss from those who were just passing through, I am reminded to ground myself in Alanon, MIP, strengthen my relationship with my HP.

 hey Bud, and that is the key for me..."so much energy and angst"  to me those are warnings.....Nothing right for me should take so much out of me...if i am putting in all the effort, or my efforts bear no good fruit...that is warning for me that this is temporary...short term......I like what u r reminded to do...re: the grounding in MIP and relationship w/HP



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
bud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2081
Date:
Permalink  

You're not alone Neshema. I'm practicing, practicing, practicing too! It is exhausting when we try and force a journey next to someone else's when we're not going along the same path or direction. There are a few people in my life that I need to let pass and go in another direction, I've been holding on and I know that I'm only making things more difficult for myself. I know that I can't force it. I also know that once I can do this, there will be other people to cross my path- and maybe even travel the road with me for a while. Glad you're here.

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> When I THINK I need someone "that bad" I need to trust and think again!!!