The material presented
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level.
In my spare bedroom/office, there is a white duvet over the twin bed with pillow slips to match. For accent and whimsy, I've placed a large, plush Christmas elf with moveable floppy arms and legs. The doll is about one foot and a half long and maybe six inches across the middle of her chest. I have noticed from time to time that the doll isn't on a pillow near the wall where I usually place her. She's been lying in another position - arms and legs in ragdoll fashion. I just thought I'd moved her to do something and forgot.
Yesterday, a friend was coming over, so I thought I'd pull the duvet tighter (cats loved to lie there in the sun) and put the elf back in her place in the bed. I picked her up to move her and directly under the center of her body was a stain and a hairball. It appears that one of my 9 pound cats - either Hannah or Holly - had drug this big doll over to hide the mess they'd made on the duvet. The stain was completely dry, so it happened some time ago and all that time, I've been thinking I moved that doll because I'd never seen the cats move her and she's twice their size in length. My cats have never been corrected for being cats nor have I been upset by customary hairballs that come with furry pets. So, this hiding was something having only to do with the cat and not the people she lives with.
Made me think about some of the shame I've carried and tried to hide from others for awhile. Often the shame I felt wasn't due to my doing anything wrong as much as it had to do with me doing what came naturally for me. Like one of my girls, I have carried loads almost twice my size to hide in shame what truly didn't need to be hidden. Without sharing with at least one trusted person what I'd hidden under my many masks, the mess might never have been exposed so that it could be treated and sanitized and I might not have learned that what I thought was shameful wasn't shameful at all.
Sponsors can be a big help to folks hiding what might need to be viewed by another person through kind, knowledgeable and understanding eyes? I've experienced that help myself.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 14th of November 2014 08:41:25 AM
Love this Catherine...I am was one of those kitties, minus the fur.....i did everything i could to hide my shame and it was NOT mine to hide....NOW i know this...then i did not............NICE story xoxo
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I am happy to be shedding the shame I have carried for others, the shame projected onto me and the shame I created because I could not morph into the images other held for me to copy. We are helping each other be enough; imperfect and enough (rephrased quote from Brene Brown).
Visualizing those kitties makes me smile.
-- Edited by PP on Thursday 13th of November 2014 03:27:06 PM
Thanks for sharing that Grateful. I am still working step 4, and I am uncovering some things about myself that I would rather stay covered. This particular thing has been "scabbing" over for years. Something would happen and cause me to think about this particular time in my life, and it would be like a sore breaking open and bleeding all over again. Now that I'm applying my triple antibiotic ointment (Al-Anon) to this particular sore, I feel it will finally heal. It may take some time, but it will heal.
Thanks for sharing that.
It works if you work it.
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
Thanks for sharing Grateful. Shame is a big one! I had a kitty that had many creative cover-ups. I cleaned up, and placed a small dish with a few pieces of dry food in it over the area. With cats, it isn't rewarding bad behavior - they simply tend to associate food with clean areas. She found it and looked me with deep eye contact and came over to me to purr and rub my leg.
I adore folks who live with large super-sized elves, especially just for the whimsey! You are wonderful.
I'm hearing the message as well Catherine - thank you.
MW: I like that you enjoy a touch of whimsy here and there, too. Do you like wood nymphs, sweet fantasies and garden fairies, too?
PC: Sounds like your cat trusts you completely? No shame in that. Smile. Orrrrrrrrrrr - She's trying to get you to look one way so you can't see what she is trying to hide? "Look, Dad! You can rub my tummy now! I know you love to do that," while thinking "God! Please - don't let either of them see I took a bite out of that miserable parrot's backend."
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 14th of November 2014 09:29:54 AM
MW: I love those pictures. I have a book that is probably authored by the same person who painted that picture you sent me? There is a movie produced by Mel Gibson that is supposedly true about fairies. I think it is called: "Fairytales - a true story" or something like that that takes place in Europe. Could have been in Ireland or England. I don't remember which. Have you seen it? I put little lights out throughout my backyard to create the illusion of little fairies with lanterns. Magical in both summer and winter.
Elcee: Since you live in Scotland, are there fairy tales you learned as a youngster?
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 14th of November 2014 12:10:34 PM
I liked your analogy too grateful, shame is a horrid thing. I quite liked the brothers grimm, was it these guys who wrote the little mermaid? I love roald dahl, I read his books to my kids, great stories, funny, my favourite was the twits and georges marvellous medicine. That picture is beautiful, I feel as if ive seen it before.
The pictures are by Arthur Rackham - he was an amazing illustrator. How he managed to get the flower fairies to stay still while he drew them is a mystery to me.
In June/July the fields around our house fill up with fire flies, it really is incredible, and we have little glow worms as well.
I love the idea of your garden lit by fairy lanterns.
The book I have is: "Flower*Fairies of*The*Wayside by Cicely Mary Barker who I'm not sure but might have been a British watercolor artist and poet? The book I have was first published in 1948 with a copyright to her estate. She died in 1973, so I don't get the copyright to her estate in 1948. The book belonged to my mother who was a very good watercolor artist who loved painting huge lakes, the sea/ocean in Maine, Victorian bicycles, Amish buggies, and sweet faced birds. No fairies though, but apparently she liked Barker's paintings?
I'm not familiar with Dahl? I'm going to research him. Thanks, el cee.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 14th of November 2014 12:28:00 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 14th of November 2014 12:28:37 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 14th of November 2014 08:25:16 PM
Ah, now I am wondering if I am mixing my fairies up! When I was a little girl I remember two books, one of the flower fairies and the other was Grimms and I have always associated all of the beautiful illustrations with Rackham but looking at the work of Cicely Mary Barker I may have had more variety of fairies in my life than I initially thought! I don't think that I have given fairies so much thought for some time - it is a pretty distraction from the elves! Have I gone completely mad? Feels good anyway, so thank you Grateful
Here is a Rackham picture - it is the fairies having a tour of the garden
Oh, those are fairies I have never seen! Rackham is a new name to me as are his pictures of fairies. I don't know how they got those fairies to stay still either? Perhaps a sprinkling of fairy dust? Barker's fairies speak of innocence to me. Rackham's speak of feminine mystique and maturity.
Yes, I remember his illustrations of Grimms as being quite dark and frightening - lots of grotesque! I think that his fairies are quite elegant, but I like your description a lot.
