The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all. I feel so alone and rejected by my own mother. We have been close for a lifetime. Yet over
Her illness. Bipolar and dry drunks she completely
Disowned me. Also fought to disinherit me from our coowned property. I went from being her favorite. To being her enemy. My siblings also took their big chanceto further soperate us. They were always jealous
Of me. I feel so sad, lost and in disbelief this could have ever happened. yet in fear of not getting resolution.
I have sent a request for resolution, have sent my love.
I am so afraid she could pass before we work things out. She is 90 years old. Yet very active, and brilliant.
I dont want to carry this burden. So im going to send her a card. Thank you for listening. Please pray for us.
Aloha Beckon that sound a bit like myself also...the tap root of my PTSD attempting to build or even maintain a relationship with my mother and getting abused mind, body, spirit and emotions in return. I've made an amends with it while still having the residual affects the PTSD. Might be another way of looking at healing though if you let us love and accept you unconditionally you will know you are worthy even while she doesn't participate in having you feel that way herself. My mother was the daughter of an alcoholic and learned some really horrible response skills to it. I had to let the past be the past and live in today. What was good was that the program taught me and then helped me keep the ability to love unconditionally and even my mother benefited from it. I took her off the list of people I had made "Powers Greater than myself" and then in the end only held on to my Spiritual, Cultural HP which I am working with right now on some familiar issues. Maybe it isn't abandonment so much as it is distraction on her part...Could it be the progressiveness of her disease? Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
Welcome, Beckon. This hurts and there are many of us that know this pain. As Jerry said, let us love and accept you unconditionally. This is a great place to process. In the meantime, find some al anon meetings to attend, you will find wonderful support.
Hi Beckon. I can only imagine the emotional hurt you are feeling. I am so sorry. Please seek out f2f Al-Anon meetings for additional support, and keep coming back here.
Take care of you and take one day at a time.
((Beckon))
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
I agree with the others.....so sorry this is happening to you...the pain of not being accepted by those we feel should......let US love and accept you and hopefully you can find some good fac2fac meetings where you can fellowship w/other folks who feel similiar and can relate ...I can relate to being abandoned, thrown under the bus by family.....alanon has helped me not only accept them as they are but to peacefully remove me from them and to move on......please keep coming back
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thank you for your support. I think I'm afraid this loss will be too much for me. So I'm trying to make it change. I seeking her approval. Which I'm not sure
She will offer. Thank god for alanon
Dear beckon: Welcome to our board. I can relate to your feelings and the difficult position you find yourself in with your Mom. I, too, wanted my Mom's appreciation, approval and unconditional love. I didn't receive it and there were many years following her death that required a lot of inner work on my part. This is what I know for certain: I loved my Mom unconditionally. That doesn't mean I wasn't wounded. It does mean that I had a choice and that was to accept her as she was with her wounds and with her gifts or not. I could choose to emulate her strengths and deal with my own wounds which could help me be a better Mom and grandmom or I could choose to let those parts of her that did wound me dictate how I would or could see myself. Talking things over with people outside my family that I could trust not to hurt me or my Mom or my family with what I shared with them was also a big help. What pained me most was that my Mom couldn't see how much I appreciated and loved her but I learned that I was powerless over the ways she saw or understood things. Her way of seeing did not need to rob me of my authentic self nor did I need to allow the ways she distanced herself from me destroy me. You did not cause your Mom's perspective or limits. You cannot control it. You can't cure it. You can appreciate, approve and love yourself as you are with the help of others and see your Mom's need for understanding, compassion and mercy if you choose. At 90, she probably isn't going to change much - she might be a little childlike herself? It only takes one person to bring unconditional love into a circumstance and with the help of your HP, Al-Anon and the fellowship, you can be that person.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 12th of November 2014 07:57:17 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 12th of November 2014 08:36:34 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 13th of November 2014 12:16:26 AM
Hi all. I feel so alone and rejected by my own mother. We have been close for a lifetime. Yet over 
yet in fear of not getting resolution.