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This semester so far I has been rough and I am currently taking a clinical and 2 lecture classes until right before Christmas. I have a fun trip planned for 3 nights with the boyfriend and kids after Christmas and before my next classes start January 5. When I say I need a break, I just mean for the crappy stuff to slow down or stop even for awhile. My 6 year old daughter today hit a boy in the face at boys and girls club and this is her third time so she has a 3 day suspension. I set up my neighbor to watch her after school until her 16 year old sister can get home and watch her. I am in clinical and class an hour away the next 3 days and can't miss any days. The stress is on in every way right now and I am struggling. I know I always get through and just need some support and someone to tell me I am raising my children okay. I didn't yell at her afterwards just told her I am sad and disappointed and wish she would stop and think instead of hit. She has been my fiery child and you always know how she is feeling no matter what emotion she is having. She can be so entertaining and delightful one minute and the biggest attitude the next. She has spent many days with no technology sitting on her bed, but she doesn't seem to be phased and likes to read. Today she said she would rather be home with us after I told her she can't go back for 3 days. I had to explain we are not at home that I am at school or work and I pick her up as soon as I can each day. If she gets in trouble there again she is out for a week and that means paying a different babysitter money I don't have and it's not as great of an environment at my neighbors. If another occurs she is out for the whole year. I know it is peaks and valleys and I do have good things going on along with the bad. I don't feel this is a crisis, I just feel tired that there always has to be behavioral issues going on with her. I have a friend that likes to joke with me that my first one was so perfect that my little one is catching me up on what other parents deal with. I can see her as more than her impulsive behavior just tired of it! Thanks for letting me vent.
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Sounds as if she likes the payoff? By the time she is 7, you may see some changes for the positive in her behavior? How many months do you have to go before she's 7? Too bad we can't fast forward the maturity of a child. If its possible and you already don't do it - maybe she can earn points to doing whatever she wants to do weekly with Mom (within limits of course) on Mom and ______ day if she follows the rules in school and at B&G Club? Or just institute a time with Mom to do whatever she wants with no attention given to the bad behavior? I've been there, BF, and there were days when I just wanted to scream in frustration. All I could do was the best I could do and remember this wasn't forever. That and take multiple baths. (((B)))
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 11th of November 2014 07:57:40 PM
I know it is peaks and valleys and I do have good things going on along with the bad. I don't feel this is a crisis, I just feel tired that there always has to be behavioral issues going on with her. I have a friend that likes to joke with me that my first one was so perfect that my little one is catching me up on what other parents deal with. I can see her as more than her impulsive behavior just tired of it! Thanks for letting me vent.
((((((((((((((((((((BF)))))))))))))))))) Just bc we know it is peaks and valleys, it is still hard to deal with the valley's negativity..i know for me, my coping skills are at best compromised and i get tired when its valley time...like riding out bad karma gets old...I get tired of it and I am wanting a break....needing some comfort......I am not gonna give you any cliches , but when i am in "valley" time, I just take extra care of me...cut out stuff that can wait...let my body and mind rest by more rest, more meditation and asking for help when/where I can...Vent to my folks who love and understand/accept me , up and down and i tell myself, that this really will pass, eventually....not fighting it helps me, i just ride it out the best I can and I even cry sometimes...............and its OK to vent...I am glad U came here and trusted all of us with it........I am sending you hugs of support.......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Prayers BF I have been there and it is not easy . Is it possible to talk to the after school group and explain your situation and request a different discipline? My niece did this with her autistic son and it worked well for her. Positive thoughts on the way.
you sound like you need a break! I'm so glad you have planned a fun trip over the Christmas break. It sounds like all of you could use some light, fun days. You're doing a good job as a Mom - that your worried about it shows how much you care. On the bright side, that spit-fire little girl will turn into a fiercely independent young lady I bet...she'll do great things! Hang in there.
Hugs, BF! I was just thinking of posting about how overwhelmed I am right now but I read your post and realized that I'm certainly not alone. I barked at my son today and had a freak out over being 10 minutes late to his tutoring session. My patience level is at a zero, when usually I'm the most patient person in the world. I hoe that things settle down for you soon and I'm so glad to hear that you will be getting a break around the holidays. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
My little one will be 7 June 29th and she is immature and young for her grade, but she is smart and can handle the reading and math part of school just fine, it is the behaving she struggle with. I had a test on Monday and have another on Friday with very little study time with 2 days of clinical and paperwork in between, the kids keep me busy later in the day and I just feel like I need more hours in the day honestly. I will make it through as so many have done before me, I just feel very under the stress right now. Keep sending me positive prayers, vibes, support and love! Thanks all!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Breaking wrote....I will make it through as so many have done before me, I just feel very under the stress right now. Keep sending me positive prayers, vibes, support and love! Thanks all!
************************************ YES, you WILL make it through....i see a gentle toughness in your posts...a resilience......and U got it!!! sending you positive prayers, vibes, support and love by the TRUCK LOAD.........
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
BF, you are a good mom. My 3 year old granddaughter gets in trouble in preschool and has been threatened with office time more than once. She, too, is a fiery one. Raising her is to my daughter like it was for me raising my daughter. My counsel to my daughter was to keep her little spirit cherished, as these frustrating qualities can serve her well in her life. My daughter is fabulous and my granddaughter is, too; naughty and fabulous
(BF) There are no manuals for raising children! You've received great thoughts from others. My daughter wasn't an easy child to raise and I did the best I could with what I had at the time. One thing I was sure to do was let her know how much I loved her (even when she exhausted me). At night, I'd tuck her in and thank her for making me the luckiest Mom in the world. She's now 23 and I'm so proud of her. It's smoother sailing but there are sometimes still some pebbles that get under our feet. Sending prayers, good wishes, loving support- you can do this and you'll get through this!
