The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last weekend I had a huge row with the a. The whole weekend was ruined. He was his usual obnoxious self. This week I practiced and practiced not talking to him when he was in the disease. I was greatly helped by a member of this program who took time out to talk to me about talking to the disease. I can't say the a is recovered. He is the same obnoxious, self centered self pitying person he always was. The issue is that I am not right in there with him. I can't say I am over the moon I am still exhausted but I am not spend emotionally because we have been fighting non stop. I am not dealing with a crisis. I do know that he will continue to have his crises because he is after all active. I just will not be in there with him feeling out of control.
I have to say it has been very hard. He has provoked and provoked and provoked and I have had to maintain a I am not engaging but it did work.
Thank you all for sharing on this valuable tool. It has given me back a sense of being centered. Of course My home will never really be ok as long as he is using and I have issues but I was able to get some things accomplished this week. Normally after a fight I am totally bereft for weeks.
yep, when we can "keep the focus on me" it is a whole lot better....they alkies and druggies will do everythng they can to "suck us in" to their BS, but if we don't "buy into it" than it is so much better-- i was married to both--- i won't ever hook up with another one, not knowingly, becuz i want peace and serenity at any price-- but if i WERE still with an "active"....i would definetly be "keeping the focus on me" and taking care of me-- letting them suffer teh consequences of their acts and DETACH, BIG time!!!! U did good.....this program works!!!! rosie
