But I don't WANNA go to school tomorrow... - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

But I don't WANNA go to school tomorrow...

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Ms. M I hear you and understand exactly what you are saying and love your process. Being honest about where you are and listing the pros and cons of continuing is a perfectly sound way to make this decision.

I found when I dug deep enough that my will "didn't want to do anything". I was astounded when I discovered that underneath it all, the anger the resentments, manipulation, the do-gooder was a self-will that was trying to make others do for me what I would not do for myself. It appears that I wanted to be a Princess, sit back and direct others and not have to do for myself. HP in his /her all-powerful wisdom sawt through to my depths, revealed that to me as the exact nature of many of my wrongs and when I was able to let go of the "I don't want to", I was shown the path that opened opportunities for me and I was given the power to carry them out. I'm glad that you are processing all the pros and cons and are listening to your inner guidance.

I really loved this portion of your post

Reasons why it is OK to make this decision.

-I can transfer the units I have done so far into a general counselling diploma which will enhance my naturopathy degree. The units are valid for 10 years so I can do this any time I like. They won't be wasted if I decide I want to use them. They probably wont be wasted anyway; they helped me through a hard time of transition and gave me a purpose and some self-esteem.

I agree with what you stated and why. Great growth my friend

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks Betty.
I am currently doing step 4 (it seems I will be doing it forever) and one of the worst things I have come to understand about myself is, I am just very, very lazy. It's much easier to sit in my glass tower and decide what everyone ELSE should be doing that to actually do it myself.
I am finding that the more I practice this program, the more enthusiasm I have for doing things myself.
It's quite humbling to see how very similar my thinking is to my A (lovers) and A (father). I just want to sit back and let it be someone else's fault that I can't do anything.
Well curse these al-anon tools, now I guess I have to actually DO something!
I hope it becomes clearer to me what that something is.
I have faith that it will.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

It will Ms M Trust the process. HP will give you the power to carry it all out

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I like the one to transfer the credits. People change their majors ALL the time. I noticed when i was in college I planned to get my msw. Then I realized i wanted to be a surgeon and did tons of health classes.

I know when I dropped and moved to what I wanted a huge weight was off me immediately. I do not believe in wasting any of my life.

you just moved, dealt with mom again, left the A, never have alone time, dog in mask, daughter right there...no cloths...

LOTS! I say I love to see people follow their heart. A lot of my decisons are made by seeing me in my rocker on the front porch with my grey hair in bun, with my old dogs...ssss pig tortoise and thinking I had no regrets, I was true to me.

Mel it is YOUR life, live it, be happy!

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

Lol Deb, you said a heap of times, if you could have me come and stay with you.....here i am, living with a lady who loves animals, embraces all of my beliefs, I have giggled to myself many times, it's as if I found the Australian version of you and she was living next door to me the whole time.
She is horrified about the way pigs are treated, we were talking about adopting a pig.
That is a great way to think about it, when I am old and sitting in my rocker, what will be important to me?
Not how much money I earned or how many degrees I have.
Thank-you, Deb.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

We seem to be a group of " don't wanna's tonight...love it. Tomorrow will be a good day of stories

cloudyskies · ~*Service Worker*~

meliss, I love the way you analyze your reasons. I love the pros and cons. I can tell you are working the program. I admire your strength, courage and honesty with yourself.

Most college classes are transferable into another program. For instance, while these classes deal with alcohol and drug abuse, they would probably transfer into some kind of nursing degree. Just something to think about.

Keep working it meliss!! smile

Newlife girl · ~*Service Worker*~

I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to work with addicted people. I would have a very hard time doing that as well, after living with an alcoholic. I think it's a good idea to follow your heart. Do what you want to do. It's ok to take care of yourself and be honest!

Kerrymom · Senior Member

biggrin As a teacher I say this a lot! follow your instincts, I regret not following mine as far as my career path (and with AH!) we're only given 1 life!

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

You already have a degree in working among alcoholics and substance abusers, Melly. I can see why you might not want to pursue yet another.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

I relate...was in Al-Anon 5 years before deciding to go to college to find out more abou8t alcoholism...what it was and what made it tick. I wanted to understand more and so I went... Was there an idea for a degree? might have been and then I dropped all of the "other" classes and stayed with psy and etoh classes and in the end when I was done I remember standing on the steps of the college saying to myself "Al-Anon gave me so much...I didn't need college". Funny thing was that HP had other ideas...HP's will was at work and I didn't have an idea. I learned things about the chemical and the body and the disease and life that went beyond what I thought I needed and then I got a call out of the blue by people I didn't know at all wanting me to come work for them in behavioral health for God's sake!! What the hell is behavioral health? I didn't know how HP's will worked and how HP will and can manipulate HP's instruments to get that will fulfilled. I had no desire to be a therapist or counselor and then had to realize much later isn't that what enablers attempt to do on a sub-conscious/conscious basis anyway? What's the point? For me it is and was that I had a need at the time I started, a real need fueled by an inside desire not an outside alcoholic. It was about improving myself because I believe the philosophy "Those who do not understand their past are doomed to repeat it". I graduated my courses and came away from college understanding more about me and alcoholism..."my part in it". Just saying...again just for me. (((((Mellie))))) wink

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Wow, this resonates within me today, I just took an exam yesterday have another one for a different class on Friday. I am struggling in my class I have on Friday and need to be digging into the chapters, instead I am here and went to the gym this morning. I am procrastinating because this class is not coming easily and this is what I do and it is not helping. I don't wanna!!!! Okay so I sound like my 6 year old and see where she gets a lot of her stuff, especially since I was yelling at her at 6:30 this morning for yelling at the dog, hmmm, I stopped in mid yell and thought I better stop and teach her another way to communicate when frustrated other than yelling. Monkey see, monkey do and well I learned a lot of the wrong and dysfunctional ways and relearning is not easy, but it is possible. I have the energy and the wear with all otherwise I would not be here at MIP, in nursing school, the goal oriented single Mom I am, nor the hard working person I am proud to be. You can do anything you put your mind to do! So with this I have to get back to my studies and homework! Sending you much love and support!

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Melly, you go do what you want. it's your life, and I applaud you for figuring a little more out about you and being able to disentwine yourself from FOO and A issues.

Having said that, I hope you at least stay here anyway, because you have excellent ESH and are, and I am sure will continue to be, a huge asset to many people on here.

But of course, don't do it for me, do it for you!!

Kenny

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi mel, I think its important to do whats right for you, all of you. Maybe asking your higher power for guidance before making any decisions. I found that when I felt this way it was usually before some clarity came and things begin fitting Into place. Something made you choose this course and maybe your motives werent healthy but you have a chance to look at it with healthier eyes and get to the bottom of your motives before making big decisions.

I cant think of a better more giving job and one that you and all of us really are qualified for, I mean were all here affected by it, how do you know you dont have what it takes to make a difference.

Your moving onwards and upwards now, looking after you and your girl, maybe the quickest way to a career and earning money would be the way to go on this one. I found enjoyment came afterwards and I love my job now.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

OMG if you and all lived here, I would be in heaven and cracking up allll the time! You would love it here too. We could put a little cabin over on the side of me and you could live such a happy life on your own! hugs

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.