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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Another blow
Post Info TOPIC: Another blow
stillhangingon


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Another blow
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My husband and I have been separated for a year. He has been to rehab twice for alcoholism. 5 months all together.  He is going to AA almost every night and working the program with a sponsor but I haven't been able to understand his anger, mood swings, delusion and crazy plans. Sometimes he's nice to me and other times he is mean. I have been kind but have been firm in not allowing him to treat me mean. We don't have much contact with one another.  I have been in Al Anon for 19 months and am strong in my faith or I couldn't still care about him. My therapist, who he saw too before going to rehab, said he may well be Bi Polar and that would explain a lot.  It would. and it makes a lot of sense.  Any experience with this would be greatly appreciated.



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Debilyn


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Hi, it is more important how we choose to respond to them. He has a disease, the reasons he could be like this are too many to pick one. No one really knows.

Brain damage from using, he just is not a nice person. They can be very selfish, on and on.

You sound like you are working on not giving his behavior any energy. Being on program, keeping clean is NOT easy. Ups and downs just like us.

But being A sometimes they don't get what it is to care about another persons feelings.

So we back off and decide this is not for me. Myself I need my friends to be pretty even. My emotions get too involved that is just me.

I invite you to look at what you can do to avoid reacting to his behavior. We can only change us. hugs !



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi,  welcome to alanon/MIP

the reasons could be many as to what is wrong with him.....Thank goodness alanon is a program for us..to help us...to discover us...to teach us how to live, with or without our alcoholics or drug addicts....

I do hope you give this a try b/c you will learn how to respond to this instead of reacting to it....there are the 3 C's of recovery/alanon.....#1, we didn't cause their problems....#2, we cannot control the drinker or his/her drinking ....#3, we cannot cure it...

We can only change ourselves...that is enough on anyone's plate.....i am glad you reached out, its tough dealing w/this w/out a healthy fellowship/community to get support from.....

I know when i first got here it was like "ok..now what do i do with this???"  so i surfed the posts,  got to meetings and asked the others what they did to get grooved into program and so that was going on 13 years ago...wow..can't believe it, but i tell you this...if you give this program and the community/fellowship of it a chance you will never be sorry........please keep coming back.....IN SUPPORT



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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
pinkchip


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Lots of addicts and alcoholics are bipolar, but I will also tell you it is the most overdiagnosed disorder amongst active and early recovering addicts and alcoholics. Mood swings and poor identity are the norm for early recovery. He will need to be sober for a couple of years consecutively to get a better idea if he is really bipolar or not or still just having early sobriety trials and tribulations.

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