The material presented
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Of course music speaks to us. This song still makes me well up when I think about it and the meaning it has for me. It's a Fleetwood Mac song but Dixie chicks re-popularized it right around the time of the break up too. As the lyrics say, I was afraid of changing because I built my whole life around my ex (a codependent mistake that I'm trying not to make again). Hence, it did feel like a landslide crashing down at the end. I also felt like I was wasting my life away and not getting any younger....so those lyrics really stick as well. The line about looking to the mirror in the sky and questioning "what is love?" Well, that is like me realizing what we had was sickness and not healthy love and realizing that when I asked God for guidance. I questioned if I could handle the changes and challenges of life on my own (also lines in the song). In fact, being alone was my #1 fear when I did my inventory of my fears in step 4. More than anything though, it is the 1 line "I've been afraid of changing because I built my life around you."....I was terrified of changing. It felt like not just giving up on the relationship, but on myself because of exactly what that line means. My whole identity was invested in that relationship. I still feel kinda sad when I think about this song and how much it reflected where I was at during that time. Of course I have other more happy ones about recovery and my personal journey....but this one is this one is something...It did take a figurative landslide to bring me down and get me to start changing.
I took my love, I took it down Climbed a mountain and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'Til the landslide brought it down Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? ?
Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too And I'm getting older too Oh, take my love, take it down Climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills Well the landslide will bring it down And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills Well the landslide will bring it down The landslide will bring it down
Oh Pinkchip music hits me the same way. This song is so the way I feel. Thank you for bringing this song to us as a reminder. The line that really hits home for me is: even children get older...and I'm getting older too. ...
i have been with my AH for so long that it is hard to separate. Wi lived through raising my children, losing my daughter, and now losing my husband. It is like death. I am learning to deal but the pain is so strong. Like a Landslide!!!
I love that song, too. In fact, I'm sitting here now, just letting the truth of it touch me and inspire me on to new heights. At my age, I can't really define love but I can say more what it isn't. I think I'm getting closer to a better understanding of it though. My daughter came to help me this week with getting my snow blower up and running. She'll be 37 this month. My job was to help her decide on something that she has to do and really doesn't want to do. We sat side by side on one of my couches while she expressed her true thoughts and feelings on the subject. My 65 year old head saw the issue from my experience in life. Her 36 year old head saw it from hers. We didn't see it the same. Rather than try to help her see it from my vantage point, something in me said "Just hold her hand and let her talk." So, I did. I just sat and listened holding "my baby's" hand while she said what she needed to say and felt the way she wanted to feel from her vantage point of the issue at hand. It wasn't my business to change her mind. It was only my business to be there in peace and tenderness and let my beloved be my beloved as she struggled with her own need to make a decision that will affect her and to trust that whatever she decides the outcome and the consequence is hers to experience. At 45, I tried to help my kids see things the way I saw them until I realized they couldn't and they wouldn't. They weren't me. They were they. At 65, I'm much more at peace with me being me and them being them. I'm just happy to be privileged enough to be able to sit side by side with my grown daughter and hold her hand in tenderness and in peace.
Oooh PinkChip, just yes....about music. I rather like Fleetwood Mac, Go your Own Way atm lol. Its funny how songs hit you at certain times. Music can be a tool too. *adds Shake it Off to playlist*
The song from matchbox, 20 How's It Going To Be, really helped me to move through some stuff regarding my exAh. I was holding on at times for dear life to such chaos and I knew it, but how was I going to be able to go on and even breath. Wow, perspective is a great thing! Thanks for the reminder of how music has helped me cope Pink! The answer is things are going to be much better for me, when you don't know me anymore! Sending you love and support!
