The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all. My counselor suggested I join an Al-Anon group. Life is busy so I am unable to attend meeting so she said I can online. I don't know if this particular board is location specific...if so please let me know.
I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic. My husband drank heavily but it was a very short period compared to most, maybe 6 months. My maternal grandfather was an alcoholic and was over 30 years sober when he passed away. The stories I hear of him drunk and the years and years my mother and family experienced make my experience seem like a blip. But I have to say that blip was intense.
My husband has been sober for 8 years now as far as I know. He says that he is not an alcoholic but only has problem with liquor. Regardless, we have not had any more "blips".
I know alcoholism is a chronic disease so while the active part, or my blip, was short lived he still has the characteristics of an alcoholic. So here I am...I hope I can get support and over it in exchange.
Hi, welcome to MIP: We are not an Al-Anon group but many of the members do attend Al-Anon meetings in their locale. We also have online meetings but still recommend face to face meetings for newcomers.
Alcoholism affects generations of families. Although my parents were not alcoholics, each had at least one suspected alcoholic parent and there is a long line of cousins, etc who died of alcoholism at an early age in my family. I married an A and my son is an A. Multiple sibs are either full blown As or on their way to it. Al-Anon meetings help me identify alcoholism in my FOO and helped me see how it affected and still affects me. Without it, I would have been spending my entire life wondering what was wrong "with me" when what was wrong was the disease that is inherited by the alcoholic and destroys the host and all involved with the host without treatment. Even though a person stops drinking, without a formal program of recovery, the disease continues to progress because it truly is a "thinking disease."
I am glad you're here. I do hope you will seek out Al-Anon meetings in your area. Come back here, too.
Hello and welocme MNKARTS. Alanon face to face meetings held in most commnities will offer the best support available. Since you are unable to attend these meetings this board has many online meetings that work under Al-Anon principles and could be very supportive for you.
You are correct in suggesting that alcoholism is a progressive threefold disease and that stopping drinking is only the beginning. It has been suggested that drinking is only the outward manifestation of this powerful disease that affects the mind, body and spirit of the drinker as well is the family who shares their lives.
Breaking the isolation caused by living with the disease is extremely important so that by attending meetings I found that I was not alone and that the support of those who truly understood was miraculous. Al-Anon offered me tools that helped me to regain my self-esteem and self-respect while also giving me new tools to live by.
Learning to keep the focus on myself, live one day at a time, allow others to live their life without interference, and trusting a higher power all empowered me to grow and change. Keep coming back and sharing the journey
Welcome MNkarts. You will find support and friends here. I have difficulty with the meetings in my area because there aren't very many and only one during the day which is the only one I can get to. I have been attending the online meetings here and get a lot out of them. I would suggest starting with the online meetings, reading on this forum and get your bearings. I've been here a couple of months and I'm at the point now where I realize the benefit of f2f meetings and working the steps with a sponsor.
Take things one day at a time. It's your recovery so you do it at your own pace. We're all here to listen.
so hes been sober for 8 years and NO AA??? did i read it right??? if i am correct and hes not in program, he is trying to work it as a "dry drunk" i am amazed hes been sober that long w/out a program (if i am reading this right)
anyway, alanon is for US..about US...for US...to help US find our way to a healthier way of thinking, behaving and thus changing our habits and our lives....what he does is his choice and his path.....hanging out in alanon, you will get the groove how we stay sane in a crazy world and how important it is to keep the focus on ourselves and our issues, while we leave them alone to work out their stuff....we can only change us...we can only control us...we can only help ourselves....alanon is a "save my own life" program while i lovingly let go of the other to reap what he sows as i step out of the way......seems to me he has serious issues deep within, maybe his childhood?? b/c drinking to me is only the symptom of an underlying issue....i am a co-addict or codependent....i am b/c of the stuff that happened to me in childhood ...working my program hellps me keep my coda in remission....i can live a healthy, full life only by working on ME and MY program and letting others do what they gotta do b/c it is not in my realm of control....
sending you a big welcome and TONS of support...
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thank you all for your responses. I have a full- and part-time job, four boys who all play sports, and a house to manage. Face-to-face meetings are unrealistic for me. I go to individual counseling weekly though. I have to take time from my full-time day job for that.
Yes, he has been through 8 years of sobriety without AA. He did out-patient rehab for 10 weeks after the final incident. No meetings since then. I totally get the "dry drunk" thing...I like that term. It fits him to a T. He has major issues but anyone who seeks outside help and/or takes medication is "weak", as per his beliefs. So he continues through life as is and I am "weak".
Through the counseling, medication, and the mini-steps she encourages, such as this group, I hope to better myself as I am hitting a mental rock bottom.
