The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, I am new to this, and I will be honest as I said in another post, I feel like a bug on the bottom of someone's shoe.I cry allot and I feel sick. I have rough nights and I am weary. I guess I need to hear how everyone else felt when they started and how they got better.
I felt the worst I have ever felt. Like I actually couldn't stand it anymore. That was why I was finally willing to do anything and finally willing to stop trying to be in control and really truly ask for help. I think when I really finally gave up trying to control the situation and control my feelings and understood that I could no more control those things than I can control a thunderstorm, that was when it started to get better.
Hugs.
Hang in there.
It DOES get better if you keep working it.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thank You, I am working hard and my therapist said if I am uncomfortable I am doing the right thing and it will get better.I am getting rid of toxic feelings right now so I will have room for Joy.
Dear Mary, you are definitely not alone. When I first found Al-Anon I was filled with anger resentment self pity and fear. I had tried therapy, changing jobs, church and nothing worked in the long-term. I was told that alcoholism is a disease over which I was powerless and because they lived with the disease I had been severely affected. Al-Anon had a program of recovery that addressed my symptoms and the face-to-face meetings would help. My community held to three face-to-face meetings a day and I made sure I attended at least one each day for over two years. It was here that I broke the isolation caused by the disease, learned new constructive tools to live by, rebuild my self-esteem and self-worth and connected with others who truly understood. I urge you to search out face-to-face meetings and attend. If that is not possible attend the online meetings held here and see if you can purchase the literature on Amazon. There is hope and help and you are worth it. As Ms M states It works if we work it.
I am going to one meeting a week right now it is right after my therapy session ,they pick me up on a bus because my car isn't running, this disease has devastated me financially and we weren't married so I am left with this mess,I am determined though and I know it isn't enough meetings.I am hoping to get my car fixed soon so I won't be so isolated.
It was tough and uncomfortable and I'm sorry that you are going through it.
Before I found Alanon I felt like a spider who was slowing having her legs ripped off and however much I pleaded for it to stop the leg rippers would not hear me.
Learning to make my own happiness, to put my own self care first and to find creative things that restored me has been possible. My first step was to learn about meditation, which really meant that I could sit quietly with myself and watch my thoughts come and go, and, I know not how, many of them faded away. (Actually, that is not quite true, my first step was to paint my nails a different colour every few days and then I pretended that I was my own best friend and asked myself 'what can you do that would help you now?'
You are worth looking after. It is a really positive learning curve and if it is uncomfortable we can, if we want, gift ourselves with healthy restorative treats. Sending (((((Hugs))))).
I once had a spiritual teacher that advised to "get a makeover"....sounds like Milkwood had the same teacher . I saw an addiction counselor that gave me homework that consisted of giving myself a gift everyday. Sometimes it was something as simple as a piece of chocolate...what it did was got me in the mindset of giving to me things I enjoyed. It will get better if your continue with your recovery...keep coming back, we are an awesome support team..this could be considered one of your gifts!
A bubble bath sounds very nice, I may follow suit, thanks for the self care idea! It takes baby steps and lots of reading, meetings and time here on MIP. I am a different person and I thank al-anon and my HP for helping me drag my once sad sorry pitiful carcass here. I was so miserable and tired, but now I am not and barely remember the girl I was. The 3 daily readers, Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and Getting Them Sober by Toby Rice Drews helped me to not go back and repeat some of my old behaviors by first becoming aware of them. There are a lot of things I read that made me realize I grew up in a home with addict/alcoholic and married one also. I am glad you are here and slowly you will get better and healthier, just keep showing up, because you are so very worth it! Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Do you have memories of your first bubble baths? You have reminded me of how I used to play with those bubbles, scooping them up in one hand and then clapping my hands together - those bubbles could fly - and landed all over the place!!! Sculpting shapes and seeing how tall the bubble tower could grow! And then the relaxing bubble baths, hearing the bubbles fizzing close to my ears, lighting a candle and closing my eyes to smell the perfumes and feel the warm water. Enjoy!
omg, you made me cry, i remember mr. bubble! I too grew up in an alcoholic home and was also, well there was a man who took advantage of me you know, so I am releasing those memories and feelings with my therapy and it is the MOST painful thing but I know I have to so I will get better.I am not bad but full of toxic shame.god give me peace.
Tears are healing. Let them clean out the shame that isn't yours - its his. Sorry you experienced such betrayal at an early age. I am glad you are choosing to move beyond the shadows of what occurred into the sunlight of what is happening now one day at a time. Keep coming back.
this may be silly but I heard this many times: I hope it doesn't bother you; but sometimes we are the windshield & sometimes we are the bug! I hope you are not still feeling like the bug at the bottom of your shoe anymore.
We can step into that sunlight that Grateful mentions and bring many good things into our world. Sleep tight tonight, I'll be thinking nice things for you.
. I saw an addiction counselor that gave me homework that consisted of giving myself a gift everyday. Sometimes it was something as simple as a piece of chocolate...what it did was got me in the mindset of giving to me things I enjoyed. It will get better if your continue with your recovery...keep coming back, we are an awesome support team..this could be considered one of your gifts!