The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had a lovely three hours to myself without children. This doesn't happen often enough. I think its the fourth time in two years. Sometimes one or two of my little ducklings will be at daycare and that's half a break. But time completely alone,no pram to navigate,no toddler to chide for squealing in a pitch damaging to the human ear....oh so wonderful. To jaywalk,flirt with the barista,try on dresses,feel like a whole person. Just loved it. How isolated I have become. I am realising many things.i never realised step 4 involved good things about yourself. Moral inventory for me was pulling out all my terrible flaws. It did always feel one sided,though. Raw somehow. Today right at this moment I am happy about aging. Its like I can be gentle on myself, the other side of the coin glimmers. It's that time in life again where I ask myself who am I? What makes me,me? I am attending a face to face meeting tomorrow. I really look forward to it,hoping to find a sponsor to help me with step work. Perfectionism also I have a new take on. I've been sending od late that it's a trap!if I wait until x,it will never happen!!cabt tell you how freeing this is. Amazing squad we have at mip.
Raising kids is quite a job. I've been on this board a while and still can't fathom how some of you do that PLUS deal with alcoholic husbands. When is the time left for you? Anyhow, I am glad you got time for yourself. I do want to commend you on all the hard work you are doing raising your kids. I would be interested to hear how other people even make time for themselves with so many demands of parenting young children....let alone dealing with an A spouse on top of that.
Thankyou pinkchip. Well,it was madness on my part I admit because I actually failed to believe my spouse was an a. For myself this is my second family,I raised the first one alone for seven years,but with a fantastic support network. Time to myself was never an issue and before I knew it too quickly they were at school. Although I never regretted my decision to walk away from that first relationship, when I years later lost that family, I wasn't done with motherhood. Children grow, i will answer to them and they to me when the time comes. Support which i am currently lacking,and routines are critical in my view. This family i have now is very dear to me. Mother and ducklings. In any parenting relationship one carries the bulk for periods.may not be pc, or ideal,but its practical. Two sides of the street. Two people doing one load of washing is not time effective. Mother,father. Alcoholism takes one potentially both. It ain't gonna get me for much longer!
Aquamom I am pleased you enjoyed that time to yourself and do hope you can connect with a sponsor soon.
Alanon suggests that in working the 4th Step that we also look at the good within. The reason for this is that these assets will be the foundation for the new life we are building. We need to see and feel them to build on them.
I also agree it is an amazing group here at MIP :)
WOW Aquamom, sounds great. See if you can do it more often. Does your soul so much good to get in touch with it once in a while and be alone to do so. And as for aging, I have an idea you are not nearly as old as I amnobody is, lolololbut it's a great part of life too. Have fun.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Good Work my friend 