Want to thank you all at MIP, Al-Anon and the 12 step program and relate some really good progress due to all the help provided to me through your generosity!!  Have recently stood up for myself when I told AH that his verbal abuse was unacceptable and that going forward an apology would be necessary if he continued to verbally abuse me.  I always thought that by keeping my mouth shut to keep the peace that made me a good person in all aspects of my inter-relationships not just with AH. What I have discovered is that it is not good practice to be a door mat and stood up for myself today at work with gossipy abusive co-workers, not anything in your face mind you, I am not that type of person, but I was quietly working while others where gossiping and discussing politics and religion, it was noted that I was not for the same state governor candidate that they were for (should have never told one of them who I was for) and I chose to not enter the conversation. Then later heard them talking about me, saying what is wrong with her.  Went to each of the two individuals separately and explained to them that I was not quiet because there was anything wrong but that I wished to work because there was a mountain of it to get done in a short period of time and that I heard them talking about me and wanted to clarify.  They were each horrified that I overheard them and when the day ended I felt fabulous, wished each of them a wonderful evening and walked out the door with my head held high.  Felt good to stand up for myself and not feel worried about, did I do something wrong or did I deserve that treatment, I felt confident that I did not deserve to be treated that way and felt equally good that I was able to point it out in a calm fashion.  I have learned that being to accommodating is definitely a form of manipulation and have learned that it is not a healthy way to live, you set yourself up for constant disappointment!!  WOW!!