The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am pleased to report some progress. Today my A was supposed to have a physical with her doc. She is at a life threatening weight and sleeps about 12-14 hrs per night whenever possible. (Could be the alcohol but she doesn't have a drinking problem.) She told me what time she planned to get up but did not ask for my help. I let her sleep and of course she had to cancel. Mind you, this was not easy, because it's something I wanted her to do. I am only in charge of myself. And likewise, when she is sleeping late on her O.A. morning, I don't wake her. Mind my own business and focus on myself. Before alanon, I would have made sure she was up on time, but no more. Her schedule is her's. I believe this to be progress. Lyne
Handing responsibility back to another adult - I like that Lynn. It took me a few years to learn that approach but I find myself worrying a lot less as a result.
Well done. I feel exactly the same most of the time. But once the urge of taking care of the A's life pass, I feel so happy with myself for not getting involved. It does get easier with practice. Let's keep working it.
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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
Yes, it is her walk and not for you to intercede. I know how dang hard that is, though! Good for you, though, because this is progress for you. You are letting her be responsible for herself. Keep doing what you're doing!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
