there's been a lot of love going around for mip lately and I want to add mine too. I've attended online meetings and one face to face. I have been gratefully bombarded with literature suggestions and read as much as I can. Yesterday I bought myself three bunches of flowers,just because I could and because fresh flowers have always bought me joy. I'm learning to garden,but am definitely assuredly more progress than any kind of perfection in that regard. I've been working on me and trying to be my own source of happy. I actually like my company so much that when my ah is home, its almost a bit of a bummer. So still have plenty of work to do. Having emotional boundaries helps. No is indeed acomplete sentence. By no means is this a healthy relationship. But it is becoming in my view one part of my life instead of the axis on which I spin.this used to terrify me. The idea of a love not complete enough to be a mills and boon novel,lol.more seriously,I think it was built on a notion from childhood, with an alcoholic parent,who was to a child the whole source. Then a formative rship with an acoa who kept the two of us in his world for seven years. While intellectually I rejected this, and spiritually rejected this, emotionally I sought it. And Tha has absolutely nothing to do with my current husband.it has everything to do with me. I can and will work on me. I also finally read the merry go round called denial,and lo and behold there I was, the provoked:she doesn't give up,she doesn't give in,and she doesn't forget. I think she has the making of an incredible woman with some tweaking. All the effort that goes into others, its time to invest it in me. I will not give up on my goals,will not give in to my obstacles and will not forget my programme!