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Last night I posted about AH finishing a school project too late on a school night. He ended up working on it after I brought daughter home. He left it at the house for us to pick up this morning before school. I was nervous about it possibly not being done. Well, he finished it and it brought tears to my eyes. I am going to try and figure out how to post a pic of it here. Daughter read Harry Potter and it was a diorama of him playing quittich, the game in the book.
I am not an artist. I've always known AH is an artist, that's why I had him help her. He procrastinated and it made me really upset and nervous, but the end result is impressive. i wish he would use his artistic energy to get a job...lol He made his body out of clay. The pic is a little fuzzy. Daughter helped paint it.
-- Edited by Newlife girl on Monday 6th of October 2014 11:00:51 AM
-- Edited by Newlife girl on Monday 6th of October 2014 04:57:27 PM
Not sure yet. She helped him a lot. My middle daughter is quite the artist, different dad though. Lol. I am proud of this, even though he can be a real jerk. I wish he could use this talent at a job somehow or work in a hobby store.
One of the things I have learned about some alcoholics is that often they can be frustrated artists, poets and musicians. It isn't really my business how another person chooses to spend his/her creative energies and yet I also discovered myself looking for a recovering As creative genius and supporting it when I saw it. I am also a creative person and I've learned that before I can produce, I have to enter chaos and sit with it for awhile. My former assistant was very methodical in her dealings and was really a helper to that creative force in me. My desk and the entire office would look like a cyclone hit it before I came up with the finished product that I felt inside me was good. My assistant knew that when I had completed the product, I would also put everything back into their proper place because I was also very organized. Learning to use both the right and left brain together is a one day at a time process. Self-discipline combined with creative energy is not easily learned - at least not for me.
I've also known artists and musicians who really didn't or couldn't master both. They had partners who kept the home fires burning while their mates did their creative thing.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 6th of October 2014 11:10:09 AM
Stop obsessing about him finding work! Nice project though. (said with love and in support of course). I've been observing that you are literally obsessed and irked by this about him to the point it robs your serenity. He is not all there. Surrender the AH "get well project" in favor of moving forward in your own life.
I agree PC. I am always impressed with his artistic work...why not use it for a job?? Lol. I hear you. I know. Let it go let it go let it go.
Catherine...yes I think he is a frustrated artist for sure. He told his parents he wanted to go to college and major in art and they were critical and condescending about it.
Looks amazing!
The A in my life draws (or he used to) and he is absolutely gifted. I used to try so hard to find ways to interest him in making it a career. Once I spent every day for weeks delivering flyers with him (I carried flyers in my backpack and his was filled with beer LOL) advertising his services. Someone paid him $500 to sketch their child. It took him one night and it was so well done.
That was about 5 years ago and he hasn't drawn a single thing since. I bought him a camera and decided he could take pictures of local tourist attractions and sell them at the market. I bought him art supplies, computer graphics equipment...gosh I put a lot of work into his art career. But he hasn't drawn a single thing since that sketch 5 years ago...it used to frustrate me so much, that he has such talent and doesn't use it.
But hey, they're his gifts, he can use or not use them as he sees fit. it's such a nice thought though, isn't it? I can't make A become an artist and use his gift but the thought of it still makes me smile. It's nice to imagine him happy and productive.
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I learned in my marriage that what I wanted my x to be was really what I needed to be. I had to take my eyes and mind off him and focus attention on me. I never knew in my 20s what I'd go on to accomplish in my 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s. Every piece of advice I had for him really was guidance to me. I didn't know it at the time and I learned it over time. I can still get lost in wanting my son to be who I'd like him to be and then I notice that my focus is once again misplaced and no wonder I feel so fearful. I'm trapped in thinking I know what is best for him again. Once I'm aware of where my attention is again, I can focus my attention on whether or not I've gotten dressed, eaten, cleaned house, made those phone calls I promised myself I'd make, exercised my mind, body and spirit in some helpful to me ways, counted my blessings and validated my assets for the day. I've still got a long ways to go in this and I have made progress.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 6th of October 2014 01:43:51 PM
I was mainly just showing everyone his talent...because I always complain about him...I wanted to show something positive. I know I can't make him do anything.
Missmeliss my AH has a camera too. He loves to take pictures. That's impressive that your bf sketched a child for $500! I am just sad that it's wasted talent...that was my point. What a waste. But it's their talent to waste.
I spent 7 years with my ex-A while he was either underemployed or unemployed and trying to hatch up some grand get rich quick scheme. He frequently hurled accusations that I was "not supportive" when I financially supported us for most of the time we were together and I did not poopoo his get rich quick ideas. I did start subtly and then not so subtly voicing that he should get "a real job" like me that had benefits and a salary. He always claimed he was "an outside of the box" person that couldn't work for a boss. He had a few jobs with large companies but he hated them and seemed to think he was above the positions he got. I paid for him to go to realty school...a bust. He never sold anything but wasted countless hours trying to sell commercial properties without any real experience because he was blinded by the potential big payoffs.
Oddly, it was about a month or two after we broke up that he finally landed into a secure job that pays well and I think he still does that (one area of life his functioning is better in despite it seeming worse in all other areas from what I hear). So yeah....I hammered home to get a real job for 7 years and it never happened all that time. He did that when I stopped caring and it no longer mattered to me...Oh and also when he had to because he didn't have any other enablers or ways to make money. Had he had a retirement fund to dip into or a house to live in until foreclosure, he would have done that until the last minute too I'm sure.
Yep...I've given up nagging him about a job. I am taking care of myself. For example, I am on hold with the IRS right now trying to figure out if I still have to keep paying his debt. I am on a payment plan with them, unfortunately we filed jointly so I am footing the bill. I want to see if I have options because this is crazy and they are forcing me to file single zero because we owe money. I can't afford this.
One thing I always heard myself say is, "He has so much POTENTIAL!" Ugh. But it is so true! And g2b, you are so right, I don't have the right to tell anyone else how they have to spend their life. He has the right to waste his potential if he wants to.... and nothing I can do about it.
My main point was posting something positive about AH. I know he can't use his artistic talent for a job. That was more of a sarcastic remark than anything. I just loved the smile daughter had about it.
