The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm looking for inspiration, strength, something to get me headed in the right direction. I know all the right answers but actually following through is more difficult than it seems. I do not want to lose my husband but I also do not want to lose myself. I want to live my life, be happy, move ahead and if he is part of that great, if not I want to be OK with that also. Suggestions?
Are you attending AlAnon meetings? They are helpful for me in the way no information-only (books, lists, etc) have been. It is there in person I have seen people process slowly out loud and move forward, which is what I want for me. It was there I found direction. It went beyond knowing to aligning myself with the direction I wanted.
I agree with Jill. The human contact at Al-Anon meetings brought me such peace plus the support those people provided to me. As soon as I walked into the room and sat down with the group, I felt calm and a sense of belonging. No one had to say a word for me to feel this. When people talked, they shared the same or similar experiences that I had. It reassured me that I was not crazy or out-of-place. I was in the right spot to learn about the disease of alcoholism and co-dependency. I joined the group to "fix" my husband. But soon realized that I was there to "fix" myself. Quite a revelation! But it worked for me.
Just lea welcome to MIP. Alcoholism is a dreadful progressive, fatal disease over which we are powerless. AA is a recovery program for the alcoholic and Al-Anon is the recovery program for the person who lives with the disease. Alcoholism has been defined as a family disease for because by living with this disease we develop traits very similar to the alcoholic. By trying to force solutions and control the uncontrollable we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it. Al-Anon face-to-face meetings held in most communities helps us to break the isolation caused by living in this atmosphere.
Receiving the support from people who truly understand and developing new constructive tools to live by, we finally regain our self-esteem and self-worth and begin to learn how to really keep the focus on ourselves and live one day at a time, connected to other people and trusting in the greater good.
One of the huge tools of Al-Anon is to remind ourselves that we are powerless over the disease that we didn't cause it, can control it and can't cure it and that the best we can do is to take care of ourselves. One of the best ways to take care of ourselves is to make an asset and gratitude lists daily.
Please keep coming back you are worth it.
Hi JustLea and welcome to MIP. You are among friends here. I agree totally with the others. Al-anon can help you find the direction you are seeking. Through Al-anon you can learn how focus on you. I'm glad you found us here. Please keep coming back.
Take care of you and take one day at a time.
It works if you work it.
__________________
Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
