The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok now I'm going into what I call relationship withdraws and withdraws from being with a man I fell in love with and all the good times we had yrs of it to this nothing .wow what a roller coaster ride this time that I just jumped off from .i feel like I'm on the wagon like someone said my addictions are relationships .and my xbf i got addicted to him over the years 7yrs of it just down the toilet it went. Now to just get through these lonesome days to trying to get myself back that I never had in my whole I tire life without haveing a nervous breakdown,I'm loseing things all the time I'm running here and there I'm just a nervous wreck and I know my friends can sense it in me I have 2freinds good friends telling me that we will get through this that they will help me but I know it all boils down to me getting me through it .and not relapse ing back into it.or even a slip back into it I don't need .i feel like right now that everybodys gonna abandon me cause 2 of my friends already have kicked me to the curve that was suppose to be my friends one of them for sure that had been talking to me over the internet for months trying to get me to kick him out and now that I finally got him out this so called male friend won't have nothing to do with me won't even answer me back and he lives 2states away.he does this to me everytime though last time I kicked my xbf out this person friend I call him abandoned me and then the min. I take my xbf back he does it again ,lol.i don't understand him he gave good advice but then wants to run and hide after I leave my xbf.
There's a meeting at 10:00 a.m. in the chatroom, LU. That can be a place to go for about an hour and a half today where you can listen and share with others who have been where you are and have found ways to deal with relationships in new ways that bring them peace and joy.
You are not a victim, LU. When friends listen and listen and see no action, sometimes they have to let go. Just like we have to let go of the substance abuser, others have to let go of us. I have let go of friends and clients when I see they are not working their programs; I begin to feel drained and used. Continuing the relationships is abusive to my well being. Perhaps this has happened to you and your friends?
Thanks for this insight cause I sure can't afford to lose my friends they mean more than gold to me my female friends have stuck with me I'm trying to not bog them down with my baggage I know it prolly could be effecting them as well but as for male friends well I only talked about it to one of them and he was always asking me for an update on my sit. I'm just gonna have to drop it all and say it's fine I'm fine and stick to my recovery work.
Good idea LU. Keep the focus on yourself and ask that others do the same, Let him share about himself and do not keep revealing your inner heart without others reciprocating.
From what I know of my ex-A, he started dating a drug addict after me. The guy stole from him, brought drugs in his home, cheated. He was always telling me they broke up. In fact, that is when I most often would hear from him....only to hear he got back with the guy right after. It got old. Evidently, all his good friends also eventually got sick of it too and they let him be. People will only stand by and watch you make the same mistake but so many times... Good news is you can always reach out and make new friends. Going to lots of meetings will help with that.
LU, in addition to what others have suggested, I wonder if your own association with your xbf (given his criminal behavior) made your friends need that distance. I might do this to protect myself from becoming his target, to safeguard his associates from knowing my vulnerabilities or to prevent the police from grouping me with him.
Thanks agin for all this insights i never even thought of these things but y'all always make so much sense out of my hard to understand and so complicated situations with xbf and yur right the law looks at all ppl involved or not involved and girlfriends are always grouped with their trouble cause they think prolly that I'm just as guilty or know something when I don't know a thing and I sure don't want to go down for questioning agin.thatsscary
