The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Not with him .. LOL! I just wanted to clarify that part of the deal. I'm so grateful I know I would not go back if I was paid to go back. That decision has been solidified in my mind, heart and soul. I would never want to go back to that kind of abuse again.
I have really positive news I will have to wait to share it's exciting, just don't know the timing yet. I have been able to be pro active on a few issues regarding court so I will have additional paperwork if needed regarding what I see my STBAX trying to pull. I believe that the God of my understanding has lead me exactly where I need to be at this point.
The bigger question will be what STBAX finds out from his atty on Saturday. He's walking in to say he has no income and I KNOW he owes his atty a LOT of money so I will be curious to see how that works out for him. Literally I could be walking into court with my atty and he will not have an atty. What little I do know of this judge he is not going to be pleased one way or another as to why there could be another delay. I'm expecting a whiney text next week.
Right now it is scary and right now I don't know what I'm going to do going forward .. the best I can do at this point is do the next right thing. It's hard for me to trust that everything is going to be ok especially after the last 4 weeks have just been kind of brutal. I'm saddened I think is the right word for it that my STBAX is so sick in terms of I'm dealing with not a healthy person in the least and I have to constantly remind myself not to expect healthy behavior out of a completely selfish, desperate, cruel and abusive person. I watch the kids and how they react to what is going on and I know they hurt and there is nothing I can do except be their safe place to come to when they are having a hard time .. that means I deal with a lot of anger, frustration that has little to do with me and everything to do with the situation. That's ok because I know they are safe, loved and valued.
I'm sooo excited that there is a new chapter that is going to open regardless if the divorce is final or not .. the sad thing is that he just continues to do what he's doing and he is just self destructing and more in need of the drama than I am .. LOL!
Anyway, big hugs to all and it does and will get better I'm just tired of getting the slap down at this point. LOL .. oi .. it's been to long.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
It has been such a long journey for you, S. I can relate to how hard it is not to be in control of outcomes especially when kids are involved. One day at a time and sometimes 1 minute at a time was about all I could do to keep myself sane.
I finally got some things that I have been asking him for .. Which again I will have to disclose what is going on after court. Omgosh it explains so very very much!
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
