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As you prolly have figured out by me not posting in such a long time and being the ultimate codependent that I am that yes I did take x ab back into my home,now to fill y'all in on the rest of what's happened bf went to work so he said stayed gone out of town for 2days would call me one time a day to say hi and that they been working really hard well he came in then the very next morning said he had to go pick his check up from his boss at 11am i told him to hurry up that I needed my money that he owed me for bills he said he would be back in a short he didn't come back stayed gone alright his tail lights don't work so he asked if I would come and get him I said no that he got himself there and knew his tail lights was out ,so the next mornig I call him and say are u not gonna bring me my money he said his car was tore up that he was at so and so place so I said I'll just come and get my money that I really needd it for his part of bills which he hadn't been paying me a dime on bills for 8 mths I had to dun him to help me cause I couldn't shoulder it all anymore so on my way out to get the money I pass a black car it's him with someone else wavering me down to meet them at the exxon station to give me some money so we meet at Exxon bf gets in my car he is all greesy from working on his car he hands me a 50.dollar bill and tells me to go in and get cigs to break it. So I injust take it on in to get cigs and they mark it and say it's counterfiet I got pale as a ghost I walk back out of store and holler to the boys in black car whom I don't k ow them from Adams that it's fake money and they are calling the law I get back in my car and bf still sitting there says I be sh-t and then he runs off somewhere I dunno I sit there for a few mins then I go home to get myself together cause I'm all confused never has anything like that happened to me in my life I finally call down to the exxon place and apologize for it that i hadn't a clue the police was already there they ask her to ask me who gave me the fake bill I tell them that bf gave it to me and then I get a call from the police station to come down for questioning I go down there and told the investigator my story and I asked him if I was gonna be in any trouble with that and he said since I called the station and come down there and talked to him and that for me to get him out of my house and have no more affiliation with him that I may be ok but they could get me for accessary but that he didn't think they would so that leaves me still scared investigated said that they may want to bring me in for more questioning later bf leaves town for police is looking for him so next bf said he didn't do anything that he didn't know that it was fake and that reason he ran was cause he didn't know one of the boys in the car he was in that he worked for that money and he cashed a check and took a hundred of it to this old country store and they gave him a 50 and rest in change and bf said he wanted his 50 back so his mom and I both tell him to turn himself in and clear himself of it and he calls me and asks me who he should call and where to go so I tell him where to go he says he has no way of getting down there asks if I would come and get him so I finally grudgingly go get him take him down to police station he goes in and I have to go back home and they called me and say they had to lock him up in jail that there was warrants out for his arrest for past charges conspiracy charge and receive ing stolen goods and now this counterfet on top of him with his past record he was in a world heap of trouble said that he told him the investigator said the same story bf told me about the money and the store where he got it at and investigator said he didn't believe a word he said cause the same black car with the same people in it has been spotted in several diff. Places trying to pass counterfet money in past weeks so I decide to call his boss to see if they were working that morning and his boss said who's that and I give his full name and his boss saidhe hadn't seen him in over a year so bf lied to me about that too so I go back down to police and tell them that bf hadn't or do didn't work that I don't know now what he did with them 2days and that he told me bf that he spent 50 dollars on a ph card and he spent so and so here and there telling me where all his money went to and lieing the whole time so I ask the investigator wonder where he got that counterfet bill from when he had no money to begin with so I got all his clothes packed up and on their way out of here I'm keeping nothing of his nothing I've get to get him out of my life law said I could be also guilty by association I'm still not in the clear yet I don't think even though I hadn't a clue about none of it I'm scared what do y'all think am I at risk would they really lock me up to.??? I know now that I can't have no association with him anymore that he set me up bf knew what he was doing makes me sick to my stomach makes me think of him as scum and all these ugly things are going through my mind about him I'm in turmoil been doing a lot of reading in a alanon book the language of letting go started reading that book before all this came crashing in on me but it has helped me a lot I'm just scared for myself now hopeing they won't try and lock me up I've never been locked up in my life I have a blimish free record I don't even ewant or need to be put on probation either lord y'all plz pray for me I'm scared I don't know what to think needing y'all's esh plz
Missed you looking up. That certainly sounds like a very upsetting and disturbing situation. I'm glad that you connected and urge you to get to an Al-Anon meeting and connect here with the online meetings.
Prayers for a positive outcome and please remember you're not alone
Hard to know what will happen with the law, Lookingup. What I notice is that you took your xabf back into your home - probably something most of us have done at some point in our journey. And then it all blew up badly because of him, also something that has probably happened to most of us in our journey. As Jerry once quoted, "The destination is printed on the ticket."
Our A's have to hit bottom before they really start to give up their addiction and get better. The same is true for us. Maybe jail is your bottom. Maybe it would be helpful to feel the full consequences of doing things in the old way. Not pleasant by any means. But truthful. Your abf is a man of addiction, crime, and chaos. Being around him will bring those things into your home and life. Consequences are powerful teachers.
But of course wherever you are you have the power to make healthy choices.
Hope you'll take good care of yourself! You matter!
-- Edited by Mattie on Friday 3rd of October 2014 10:32:56 AM
I've just loaded all his/5tuff up in. Y car keeping nothing and I e called down to the jail and told them to plz block my ph. No from their pay phones so he cannot even call me,I've just cut all my losses with this man and I'm moveing on.thanks to all of y'all's esh and my own esh and hard lessons that I had to go through to get the message I'm just praying they don't decide to lock me up or something just because he used me I was his victim the law said.plz y'all do pray for me plz.even though I had nothing to do with it and I knew nothing about it all I do know is there's a lot of innocent ppl that go to jail or go on probation because of ppl like him.
Am praying for you LU. I know this was a scary situation. Please help yourself by finding Al-Anon and going to the meetings. They will help you help yourself.
Take care of you.
It works if you work it.
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
LU, it appears to me that you are able to see the trouble you are in right now that you see are caused by your codependency issues (something I have had to face and deal with, too) and because of these issues your life has become unmanageable and you feel afraid because the circumstances you are in now are over your head. My suggestion is to use one of your readers and find readings on Step 1 until you feel less afraid? You could also read some on Step 2? Reaching out to someone from your f2f group for telephone support might also be helpful to you? I'm not sure if these suggestions will be of help to you and they have helped me when life has become incredibly difficult and I need help to see my way through.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 3rd of October 2014 01:53:54 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 3rd of October 2014 01:54:59 PM
I can identify with wanting someone in my life so bad that I literally warped who they were and acted oblivious to unacceptable things. You have known for years he was criminally involved. You stated he was dealing meth from your house quite some time ago. Praying for you, but seriously you don't need ANYONE bad enough to overlook that kind of stuff.... I used to settle for crappy relationships because I hated being by myself, I didn't like to focus on myself, I did not like myself and the only thing that made me feel good (apart from drinking) was having someone else like me and divert my attention away from how awful I felt about myself. I was a serious relationship addict. Like...I literally could not function without a relationship. I know you are smart...and capable LU, but this is an inside job. Time to focus on you and what it is about you that makes it so you cannot stand to be with just yourself. If I could snap my fingers and make you love yourself, I would. It's going to involve work, meetings, and painful growth to actually change.
Hello LU, glad to see you back here.
I can tell you are really scared and I really hope that you get a good outcome out of this situation. I really hope you manage to let go this time and start working on your own recovery. You don't need him LU. You need YOU to be the best person you can. You are deserving of love, peace and happiness. Go for it.
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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
Glad your back lu. It sounds like your higher power is making it loud and clear this time. In my experience fear and panic are memorable and help learn that bit deeper even though its not a nice experience. Im not sure if you will get into trouble, it doesnt make semse to me that you would. You done all the right things, how can you be held responsible?
This is probably not going to land well, LU. You are not a victim in any of this; you have been a willing participant in the chaos..time to own it, accept the consequences and do what needs to be down to step into the lovely young woman we have seen for quite some time. I wish you the best.