The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My fiance has a drinking problem. He will admit it but thats as far as he will go. He says he wants help, but he says he has it under control. I love him very much. We have been together for a year and a half, and plan to marry next spring. I just dont know how to feel, what to say or do. He has lost jobs and hides it when he drinks at home, but i know. He denies it. I have never been around any one that drinks, or has a problem. I guess Im looking for support or advice.
Hi shellbell, and welcome to MIP. You have found a bunch of supportive friends here. Alcoholism is a disease that affects everyone it touches, not just the person doing the drinking. My husband has been an alcoholic for about 14 years. He's still an active drinker. I can tell you it's not an easy life. I would strongly recommend you finding the closest Al-Anon meetings and go. You cannot help your fiancé. You did not cause his drinking problem, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it. Denial is common in alcoholics and with those who live with alcoholics. But, you can help yourself, and that's where Al-Anon comes in. One of my favorite slogan is Let go and Let God.
Keep coming back, and take care of you!
It works if you work it.
-- Edited by cloudyskies on Wednesday 1st of October 2014 06:35:10 PM
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
Welcome shellbell I am glad that you reached out an shared your concerns. Alcoholism is a dreadful, progressive, fatal, family disease that can be arrested and never cured. We did not cause it , cannot control it and cannot cure it.
AA is the recovery program for the alcoholic and alanon the recovery program for the family of alcoholics. Living with this disease, and trying to cope with the insanity, we become focused completely on the disease in another and neglect our own best interest and needs.
I urge you to search out alanon face to face meetings in your community, the hot line number is in the white pages. and attend the meetings. You deserve to break the isolation and connect with others who truly understand.
Hi Shellbell. I'm new here, too. I'm not new to the life of living with an addict, though. It's a hard life and you will need some support. Good for you for seeking out al-anon and coming here to read and for posting. This is a HUGE deal and I celebrate with you that you made a good step! I made a lot of mistakes - or, let me rephrase that - I made decisions early on that I think I might have made differently had I known about the addiction and how the disease would progress. You owe it to yourself to be very honest about the situation and be brave enough to take a good look at the situation as it is and not as you would like it to be. I am not trying to discourage you - not at all! I admire you for being here and wish I had found this place sooner.
As the others said - find local meetings and keep coming back here. Each situation is different but you can learn a lot from these folks. I know I am.
