The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, A is being a total, complete and utter tool. That's not really important or surprising (it's actually good, he is making it so easy to not like him. It really feels like the guy i loved and this guy are 2 completely different human beings. The one I loved is in a coma and may never come out. This parody of him is actually a disease animating a body and I don't like him, not even a little bit) but I decided today that the only way to not engage with his bull-poo was to get out of here so dog and i just got in the car and took off (oh it's so good that I can do that now) and ended up in that little town I was talking about, where I visited the real estate agent and ended up looking at houses; he had one that he said "It's been empty for ages but I tell people the pitfalls first because it saves showing them through it, noone wants it when they hear about the gas". OK, so it has LPG gas instead of being connected to the main supply. Its a bit more expensive plus you have to get a man out to fill the gas once a month or something. Whatever, big deal, the house is cheap so who cares about paying a bit more for gas? Pre-paying it, no gas bills....sounds OK to me. He was really surprised that I applied. Apparently most people can't cope with the idea of having inconvenient gas (lol, that sounds funny). So anyway I hope that means I have a good chance of getting it. There's really nothing else wrong with it, it's nice inside, the kitchen is a little dated but whatever lol, nice yard, high fences and pets are ok. What ore could I ask? Oh and it's a 2 minute walk to the beach lol, of course.
It is a good drive from here, and our petrol is even more outrageously expensive than yours if you can believe, it's about $6 per gallon if I've converted it correctly.My old car chews up a lot. So it's a big deal, no way could i afford to drive daughter to the school she is at every day and there's no bus between the towns. Plus the agent called me today, she is irate that A has not paid his rent for over a month and it is so far behind and she made a big point of telling me that I am liable for his share of the rent, yes I know that but I don't HAVE his share of the rent so what am I going to do about it? Ugh. He's making me be un-tennant worthy (lol, couldn't think of a better word than that) and its so freaking unfair. Like he hasn't made life hard enough now he's going to make it 50 times harder. So i just hope the agent is sugar-coating the details to the other agents because she wants us to move out smoothly, if she's being honest then I have no hope of getting a lease.
So, good and bad....
I still haven't packed anything.
Get moving mel!!!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Get packing my dear because it's not going to just go away. I will be asking HP to help you get everything you need for the short term to live with a roof over your head and peace moving forward.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
meliss, I believe with all my heart that our HP knows your needs. I also know that when doors close, God has a way of opening others. Things seemed to be on the upswing for you right now. I'm thanking HP for that. As far as A goes, let him stay in his own little world, and you get packing and move forward.
I agree with PP. Maybe if you explain the situation to your agent, maybe God will bless her with compassion. It's worth a try.
Take care of you!
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
She does know. She's seen him screaming at me in the street, seen other things. He screamed at one of the receptionists over a small error and made her cry (he was drunk and raving). She has made it very very clear to me that she knows exactly what sort of person he is, doesn't like him and hopes I will be moving somewhere without him. But that doesn't affect my legal liability or her obligation to pursue me for the outstanding money. I just got another text from them re outstanding rent; A refuses to have a phone so that he doesn't have to deal with ANY of this, ever. It all falls to me. GRRR!!
Anyway whatever. No point getting angry now. He asked me for money last night after being absolutely awful to me for days. And told me "I'd better hurry up and tell him where he's going to be living" huh??? lol what??? He seems to have decided to just be blatant about his desire to be my child now. It's so creepy I have to admit.
Anyway no good dwelling on all that. Things to pack houses to look at good moods to stay in
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
lol. Well it's not really funny but it kinda is. A asked if he could borrow $5 to get a bus. (Can I use your car? No. OK well you'll have to give me money for the bus then).
Then came home drunk and babbling about how he found change in his pocket so he spent the $5 on a bottle of wine and drank it on the bus. Sat down on my bed to tell me ALLLLL about it."It's OK because I'm in a good mood" and then proceeded to tell me every thought he had since he bought his bottle of wine and drank it on the bus. Basically his plans to overhaul the public transportation system completely. He said he had filled in the bus driver as well. Goody, I bet he was super-pleased.
NO I'm not focusing on A but giggling a little to myself because...I was sitting in front of my computer procrastinating...and then A came in and sat on my bed and started raving and suddenly I got real motivated to start packing. Nearly got my whole room done while I was trying not to hear the weird drunken babble. So really, he motivated me and now he's asleep and I feel good about what I have achieved and can enjoy a cup of coffee and wallow in my own self satisfaction for a few moments. Somewhere in the babble I heard plans to go to his mothers for the weekend. To leave me with all of the mess and drama and not come back? It's a strong possibility and I am just fine with that. Plus my parents are coming to help fix up the plaster and woodwork damage and it is a huge relief to think he won't be here. Fingers crossed he goes. He says there is a party on and he wants to catch up with old friends. Good, good, very good. All of this is positive if it happens.
WIN!!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I understand. Once I became motivated to move, there was no looking back. Glad he motivated you. Maybe he can become a bus driver and make some money. Lol. Hey...I have an idea...can you live with HIS mom?? Or is she just as bad as him?? Maybe you should send him to live with your mom?? Kinda joking here, kinda not.
Good luck with the house melly, sounds great, especially the beach, so good for the soul. Dont you just love being able to see life and the a and ourselves as it is, not the sugar coated version, just the truth. I love the truth so much. I spent so long ignoring, burying it, fighting it. The truth sets us free, someone said and its so true. You are on the road to freedom and I often think if it came easy and smoothly, im the type who would not appreciate it. Its the struggle that gets me invested in it. Its valuable and probably shouldnt be easy to obtain. Your nearly there.x
