The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello All! I will start by saying I wish anyone reading this good luck with whatever you are dealing with. I am trying to find a good site with discussion boards on drug addicts.
I have been enabling one for far too long. I am at my breaking point.
He has been on drugs for over a decade. It began with pain pills, escalated to stronger pills (oxys) and then to heroin. Nine years ago he stopped doing dope one day and was clean for 22 days and still curled in a ball on the couch, suffering from every withdrawal symptom there is. Disgusting to watch, but happy he was doing it. Unable to bear it and in need of going to work, he sought the help of a doctor, a suboxone doctor. GREAT, we thought, no more drugs. It was extremely expensive, no insur., not that this doctor accepted it anyway. Spending over $500 a month in just the pills.. Anyway, since then the doctor put him on anxiety medicine, Klonopin. Another awful addition to the mix, as he abuses these... He began occasionally buying cocaine and then doing crack cocaine. He would stop and not use, be clean for long stretches and then suddenly on it again, even spent $600 in one day... Sickening addiction... while still on these medications. He has been doing well, but used again, and stole from me. He isn't a bad person, I know this, he is a good dad, I know this, but I can not physically or emotionally or financially handle this person anymore. How does one get help with no insurance or money? what are his options? Do you think kicking him out and from his children will benefit him in his need to recover? Please, anyone with advice, offer it to me. Thanks.
Hi lookingforanswers(very appropriate log- on name) :)
Welcome top Miracles in Progress. I am so sorry to read of this painful situation and appreciate your honesty and compassion. Although drug addiction is not mentioned in the alanon program, many parents and spouse's of drug addicts attend meetings and obtain the support and tools that help them regain their sanity and life.
The Salvation Army and many State sponsored detoxs and rehabs are available to drug and alcoholics without insurance. I would check the web site of your State to find that support or the appropriate pages in the Telephone Directory. I would also check the telephone directory for Narcotics antonymous and give them a call. They may have an out reach program you can consider. -
This is a family disease and I am glad that you recognize that you need support as well. We have on line meetings here 2xs a day and there are alanon face to face meetings in most communities You can check the white pages for the hotline number
There is help and hope please keep coming back .
I see you are dealing with multiple drugs, including Klonopin now. I'm not an expert at all, but here is my experience. My wife took Klonopin for many years, after that wasn't helping her anxiety anymore she turned to alcohol and added that to the mix. She started falling down due to the Klonopin, and started binge drinking to make the world go away. it was horrible, and you have my sympathies.
When she entered her first rehab, they didn't allow her to take Klonopin, or any other opioid, even though ostensibly she was in there because of alcohol abuse. And we have been much happier ever since. The strongest anti-anxiety medicine she got afterward was an antihistamine, I can't even remember the name now. It worked pretty well, but when she would get strong PAWS she would take it and it would barely get her by.
After her second rehab a year later, her recovery through AA has been so strong that she hasn't required any anti-anxiety medications at all. She has learned through AA how to be emotionally sober, and how to deal with life on life's terms, rather than running through the neck of a bottle to not deal with it. She has also learned to be able to take care of herself and know what tends triggers her addictive thoughts, so that she can figure out how to rid herself of whatever the trigger might be.
Once she was under control, she looked at me and told me I needed to change. And she was right. I harped on her, I yelled at her for drinking, I looked for bottles and when I found them shoved them in her face and took pictures for evidence. This was not helping her at all, but even more importantly it wasn't helping me. it just amped the stress on both of us. So I joined Al Anon and got educated, not just on alcoholism. but on how to deal with it.
I learned that I didn't cause it , and that I couldn't control or cure her (we call that the 3Cs) And I learned there was only one person I can control in this life - me.
Once I had applied the principles of Al Anon, my head cleared and I could make decisions on what needed to be done. I highly recommend it.
There are also chapters of Narc Anon around, but not nearly as many in my area as Al Anon. if you can't find a Narc Anon meeting, go to an Al Anon meeting. I've never seen anyone turned away from one because of drugs vs alcohol, and really, it's all just addictive substances that are affecting your family and your serenity.
The question I'd have is whether your addict is wanting to get clean or whether it's more you wanting it for him. Sadly the latter is usually the case. The question we always have is "How do I get him to want it?", and unfortunately there is no way - they do it on their time scale if they do it.
But the chaos of addiction sucks us into the insanity and we can start our own recovery. When we have recovery, dynamics change and that means that everything changes. It doesn't mean we can make them go into rehab or recovery if they don't want to, but the whole situation can become so much more peaceful.
There are many commonalities between drug addiction and alcohol addiction, and I think you will find good tools for living in Al-Anon. Many of our addicts switch or use both. There is also Nar-Anon if you have one in your area.
I hope you'll stick around and start down the road to your own recovery and serenity.
I support what the others have already said. Welcome to MIP. Nar-Anon and Al-Anon can be a big help for you. I also don't think it would hurt to call his physician to let him know what you know about what your husband is actually taking if you know them all? It is the physician's job to pay attention to what s/he is prescribing, what it is being used for, and how it is affecting the patient. Your husband isn't using the drugs for therapeutic purpose as your post seems to read. It is also dangerous to him to be mis-using these strong meds or withdrawing from them on his own.
