The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I too have been away. I've had to deal with a lot in trying to find affordable housing. I was pretty much stranded up in the mountains with program people who just don't get it. The women told me if I wanted to connect with people I needed to go out to lunch with the ladies after the meeting. Pretty grim. They couldn't grasp what it felt like to sit at a table watching other people eat when I couldn't. I felt completely out of touch with healthy program. Probably because I was. So after only 19 months I was forced to leave my beloved mountains in New Mexico and come back to the town I grew up in, surrounded by really sick family members. But I have a strong, healthy meeting to attend 3 times a week and I now get to spend time with my best friend after an 18 year absence. Hate the town I'm in and am experiencing severe culture shock. I came from a place of great natural beauty and a Franciscan state of mind to a culture totally plugged in to electronics at all times. Its really bizarre to me. People are so focused on their electronics they rarely turn them off even during meetings. Smart phones and tablets are ubiquitous everywhere, at all times and people spend money like water because they cant be unplugged even for a few minutes. Its crazy to me. NM is spiritually based, where I am its consumerism at the extreme.
I am so grateful for an affordable place to live were I can have both medical care and food! My alcoholic cousin ended our relationship after 60 years of close family ties for reasons unfathomable to me. I have forgotten how to navigate these shoals so need about 20-30 hours of binge Alanon. Thankfully, my old home group still speaks real Alanon and that alone is sufficient for me to feel grateful, calm (sometimes) and content. Love to you all. I have missed you and hope my medical issues permit me to be online more now that I am being treated adequately.
I've been wondering where you were, cwya. Glad you are in an affordable home with medical care and food. I don't know if your cousin is active or recovering? Perhaps this is a blessing for you that you haven't recognized yet? I find myself increasingly unable to spend time with active As - not because they aren't worthy people but because their disease puts up walls that say "Stay away" to me. I look for the doors that open for me as you have done by reconnecting with the Al-Anon group that is right for you.
Welcome back CWYA I am happy to see you are posting once again. I am sorry for the turn of events in your life and happy that you have meetings that will be supportive
I do hear you as I live in NYC where everyone is plugged in 24/7 I have learned how to stay within, using Detachment, and in the words of St. Francis : "Wear the world like a loose garment"
Please take care of yourself and keep coming back .
Thanks for the welcome back. My cousin is active and what he says is "controlled" drinking--a 12 pack every day. I sent him an email yesterday that had me worried about communicating. I left some things behind in his house and he absented himself from his house so he didn't have to interact with me and this wounded me greatly. He perceived my statements of fact about my living conditions as theatrics and an attempt to lay guilt on him somehow. I understand this is all in his head and has nothing to do with me. But I am chagrined I have taken this on and feel like I have to "fix" this and convince him I'm not doing that. I've worked on just letting it all go. I just keep taking it back. I left a couple of things behind unfortunately so I had to email him again. Don't know if he'll respond or needs to "punish" me some more for sharing my circumstances. I was a supportive listener to his struggles with his very sick family for years sometimes for hours at a time. He now lumps me in with them as "the problem" but I now realize he is suffering from the "director's complex" spoken of in the Big Book. He thinks if only people would just accept his direction in how to make choices in our lives and how we think all would come off grand. Since I had to move against my will I hung on to the last minute, praying and hoping I could stay in NM. This apparently was my great "theatrics" along with sharing my food insecurity. Oh well, let it go, let it go. I'm trying to but some days are better than others. Thanks for listening.
Welcome back. I, too, know the beauty and essence of New Mexico and the Franciscan Way. I experience the culture shock, too, in my community and do the best I can to integrate those ways into my way of being wherever I am. It is very hard for me, at times, though. Thank you for sharing your experiences and I hope all goes well for you.
Nice to know I'm not the only one out of the tech culture. As Hotrod pointed out--wear the world llike a loose garment. Also the Franciscan goal to be in the world but not of the world.
