The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i have been coming on this site for a while sometimes daily sometimes less often but I always return it has helped me so so much. Today my parter is active after two years dry attending AA but did not work the steps. He is progressing but I am detached with love but can not watch anymore. He broke a boundary and I have said what I mean and mean what I say as kindly as I could. Today I trust me to love and take care of me no matter how painful that can be. I am trying to be my own best friend with help from my hp and al anon and sponsor. I am working the steps because I am worth my focus and time. I am trying one day at a time to give myself all the things I desired from him love, respect, understanding, compassion and empathy. This disease has chewed me up and spat me out too many times. But my recover medicine must be working because I care about me today. This does not mean I do not love my partner he has a hp too and today I hand him over best I can. I am using this time to be my own rescuer to put my relationship with hp and myself first. Something good is blossoming from the pain today I can see thorns have roses.
Have you you any examples of being your own best friend? Hugs Tracy xxxx
My most recent example of being my own best friend was retiring from what was no longer life-giving for me and just too darn stressful given the amount of responsibilities that were expected to be mine by "my bosses" with very little actual support. I utilized the 7th tradition by recognizing that although I was self-supporting, the organization's board was not and expected one person - me - to do it all while they took the credit for my job well done. The outer imbalance wasn't something I could change and I did what we sometimes do in Al-Anon, I stepped down after giving the board over 3 years to make some changes which they didn't and the organization closed. Even if another person had been hired to replace me, the same thing would have happened - just at a later time - because the same people who were responsible for the oversight and management of the organization were not fully committed to it.
Tracy, thank you for your inspirational post - I really needed to see that today. I really like the way that you are giving yourself what you desired from your partner and the loving way that you accept who he is. I'm sorry that he has slipped and send prayers for recovery for you both.
Thanks Tracy, I love "thorns have roses"- that's the way I have been trying to see life and it's much better that way!
"Being my own best friend" really articulates what I am trying to do just now; I have challenges to face but I'm trying to be "supportive' to myself and give myself permission to be happy at the same time; if I was helping a friend through this I might say to her "hey, I'll help you get the work done this morning but this afternoon we're going to spend some time playing in the sun" or something like that.
Thanks for posting this, it helped me make sense of the way I am approaching the challenges before me. I'm going to be fine because I have my new best friend with me....ME!!!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thank you for sharing that Tracy. Yes, we can be our own best friends but we also have our HP to guide us along the way. Those are the only things I know I can trust as truth: my HP guiding me and me being willing to be in God's will. HUGS!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
