The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
(((milkwood)))
Come rent a place with me, it's going to be a complaining A free zone!
We could rent one here and one where you are and live here in Australia in spring and summer....and then there in Italy in spring and summer.....ooh....that's a nice thought!
Sorry you're having a crappy time.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Is it you can't stand him or you can't stand the way you feel when he complains and complains and complains. I think it was a good move to limit your exposure to the negativity, MW. Maybe a little sit down with yourself on what you are thinking when he complains and seeing what you can change there, too, might be a help? A gratitude and assets list could help, too?
Of course you are right Grateful - it IS how I am feeling that I can't stand. I will have that sit down and delve a bit deeper, but my 'off the top of my head' feelings/thoughts that I'm uncomfortable with is 'I'll never be good enough' and 'I can never get anything right.' Thank you dearest, it sure is time to do a gratitude and asset list and to explore why I'm believing those thoughts. ((((Hugs)))))
Love it!!!!!! You are plenty good enough and you get many things right - especially being the delightful, loving, warm and honest person that you are. Don't let that committee in your head rob you of the truth about you. (((MW)))
Thanks for sharing milkwood. Nothing can send a clearer message to someone abusing you physically separated yourself from that abuse. Hope you find your answers as your spend quiet time with your higher power. ((hugs)) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
MW, I know those two ugly words--resentment and anger--- as they waged war inside of me for years. Our As don' understand our resentment and anger, because they don't see it, can't feel it, don't understand it and cannot connect with it. I am so thankful that you found al-anon, as it will help you learn how to let it go. Everyone has given you such good advice. Removing your self from the negativity and making a gratitude and assets lists will help put you in a positive frame of mind. Something I have also done is make a "God can" box. Whenever my A or anyone for that matter, says or does something that causes me to feel negative, I write it down and put it in my God can box. This is my "concrete" way of turning it over to God.
Those thoughts of "I'll never be good enough" and "I can never do anything right" is what his alcoholism is doing to you. It's causing you to have distorted thoughts about yourself, and it takes time to undo all that distorted thinking. But you know what??? Your toolbox is full, and you are already using one of your most powerful tools>>awareness.
Take care of you, ((MW.))
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
MW I agree an asset list is in order. You will see that you are a wonderful, compassionate,intelligent ,perfectly, imperfect human being.
Please do not abandon yourself and go over to the other side and beat yourself up, instead, please validate your many, many attributes and let go of the negative judgements. You are enough
