Ray Rice video got me thinking about domestic violence - Al-Anon Family Group

Newlife girl · ~*Service Worker*~

Ray Rice video got me thinking about domestic violence

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Although I don't think anybody should put their hands on another person, I also believe that men who punch women would do it whether they are pushed or not. No, you didn't deserve to be tackled and I also think that putting your hand over his mouth was a violation of his person. I'm in favor of finding other ways to handle things besides getting physical with somebody and that's me. I am glad to see that Rice got booted from his team and is indefinitely suspended in the NFL. I do fear for her since she is now married to him. No doubt, he will blame her for being cut from the team and suspended.

I am also glad to know that you got out of that marriage before something worse happened. (((NLG)))

-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 8th of September 2014 10:19:58 PM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 8th of September 2014 10:20:50 PM

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Putting the video on national television was wrong. There was no mention of whether he or she gave permission to do that. The release brings national and more judgment not only of the act and also the person. As a former alternatives to violence mens' case manager all of our work including the event(s) which initiated the counseling was kept confidential. The weight of the judgments themselves can aid and/or harm recovery. Domestic violence who ever the perpetrator is not acceptable. Broadcasting it is neither. Just for me with experience on both sides of the issue. ((((hugs)))) smile

Newlife if you were never apologized to for the physical harm that was done to you let me do it now. I am sorry that you went thru that...it hurt...it was wrong.

-- Edited by Jerry F on Monday 8th of September 2014 11:15:31 PM

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Although I get what you are saying, Jerry, being a woman who was hurt behind closed doors and didn't put her hands on her husband, whether they gave permission or not for that video to be shown, I do think it should be out in the open. My husband got away with what he did because nobody saw it and/or nobody (the priests I saw) could get the horror of living with a man who uses a woman as his own personal punching bag. To see a woman drug like a sack of topsoil after her "beloved" knocked her out was as awful to me as his punching her. I think people need to see what is true about men and woman caught up in the abuse cycle and I do think his being a football player adds to that cycle which is a whole other issue.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I work with little felon teenagers and even THEY will generally say you should never hit a woman due to size and strength differentials. You may push someone away from you or hold them to get them to stop hitting you if they (the woman) is doing that, but punching the crap out of them is totally different. WAY out of line.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I did not see the video, nor will I watch the video. I do, agree, though, having it aired brings this poison out in the open. Violence anywhere involving any living system needs to stop.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Reminds me of a quote: "What is in the dark will be brought to light." If violence happens mostly behind closed doors with no witnesses, it does continue especially when it is adults violating animals or children or adults brutalizing others. It helps buy time for the abuser to keep on doing what he/she has always been doing to keep the actions in the dark. I wonder how many women and children wouldn't be murdered if the aggressor's actions are brought to light for public view the first time it happens and not months or years later? My x never suffered any consequence for what he did to me and I was not supported in any way to get out of that miserable existence. All systems supported his abuse of me and it was only by the power of my HP that I was able to get out of it. When he died, his brother eulogized him and said: "He never hurt anybody." Really? Why were 3 women sitting together in a pew looking at each other in amazement at his sentence as they supported their children who were also exposed to his maltreatment of us with no support of what were true stories for all 3 of us that were either minimized or simply not believed? It took bruises on the backs of my arms after I was divorced that a woman saw and reported to my boyfriend at the time who in turn told me to tell my Dad or he would for me to be finally relieved of a man's brutality of me that came out of his belief that he could treat me anyway he wanted because I was a woman and less than him. Had there been witnesses to his brutality early on and real support, perhaps the outside support I needed would have made a big difference for me and for my kids. Even police officers in our City brutalized their wives and were never challenged by public sentiment or witness. They, too, maltreated their wives behind closed doors.

I noticed that neither Rice's team nor the NFL did much if anything as a consequence of Rice's behavior in relationship to his now wife until the tape was brought into view and the public were able to weigh in on it. Then, both systems acted in ways that I think can send a message to a person who abuses another in such a vile way. It also sends a message to both the team and the NFL that turning a blind eye or slapping a guy on the wrist for punching out a woman is unacceptable and won't be tolerated by the general public.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 9th of September 2014 08:36:48 AM

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-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 9th of September 2014 08:47:25 AM

Newlife girl · ~*Service Worker*~

I think it's good that the video was made public. Gives people a real look at domestic violence. People do not understand what goes on behind closed doors. I am sure that wasn't their first time having an issue like that, and it won't be the last. I hope his wife can get the help she needs. To marry a man after something like that is unbelievable

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I have to watch the violence within me when such an event happens. I believe that what is in one is in the whole...he symbolizes our collective violence. I feel sad and despaired when I see it from that perspective,yet, I know that if we apply "let it begin with me", a huge shift can occur. If I heal the violence within me, a ripple effect will begin. I am very glad that these events are made public.

..and some of the violence within me is a voice that says "those f'in SOB's" (those that hurt grateful, newlife and the rest of us)..and I can take my thoughts into some very dark places indeed.

There was a time I scared myself badly, as I knew if I had had a gun in my hand I could have used it on my husband.

-- Edited by PP on Tuesday 9th of September 2014 10:57:43 AM

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Newlife girl wrote:
To marry a man after something like that is unbelievable

It's sad, but follow the money. She thought that he would be going to be a big famous football star, and the occasional roughing would be worth the price. She probably comes from a home where that is acceptable behavior as well.

We will see what happens to the new marriage now that he has been banned.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I get that and I was also tested on it. I didn't act on the violence that is a part of us all. Most times, women don't. Being aware of a violent thought is one thing. Acting on it is something different. I do think your thoughts with regard to abuse are healthier than what I encountered in a system that colluded with it rather than named it, addressed it and said no to it with consequences that are appropriate to both rehabilitation and restoration with no excuses for it. One of the reasons I believe that is because abuse against women and children is so integrated into the psyche, it is minimized and pushed back down to continue its destructive and soul killing path. When we see it, name it, address it and say no to it in a public fashion, perhaps the collective unconscious than becomes conscious of what it is doing on a larger scale and more women and children will be able to live safely?

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

A's are insane.So responding with anything is not wise, not even words.

My AH was chasing down this dog he brot home that was his friends. He let it out of his bedroom. He was grabbing it about to hurt it. so I pulled back lightly on the hood of his sweatshirt. said don't take your crap out on that dog. next thing I knew I was on my face with two permanently damaged shoulders...I tried to run to my car, calling 911 he leaned over me grabbed my phone and thru it.I rain back in and locked me in my bedroom. got my key I had hidden there, went out my private door and split fast. I saw two dep sheriffs heading out as I went int. Went to my bank who helped me calm down and dry off. pouring rain. I got a new phone from my phone place who also took care of me.

Called AH and told him to get out....that was that.

All from barely touching his sweatshirt.

I learned to Never respond to an A who uses. I walk away.

It is not them in control, to me it is a demon. Not worth any of my attention.

If I see violence I will call for help. or see if I can protect the person being hurt.

I won't take any bs anymore from anyone.

NO ONE deserves to be touched out of hate or violence etc. Police need to stop touching people and escalating the situation! I worked with my at risk gang kids, hi school.You do not have to escalate anything.

hugs

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Violence isn't always about addiction or perpetrated by alcoholics. Violence is a loss of control and balance and a fight to maintain it. It is a fear based response and reaction and it is as old as we are. Those who have read Genesis in the old testament of the bible know the story of Cain and Abel...that is an old example. It has been out in the open since the creation of animals and one of it's most famous victims was call Jesus the Christ. You don't have to be religious or even Christian to be familiar with that example of fear acting out. International, national, domestic and other violence is ...violence. I know it intimately both as aggressor and defender.

The basis of my statement that the video should not have been aired comes from the language of my recovery in the Al-Anon Family Groups and our traditions while knowing that the industries of communications don't incorporate our program within their operations. Ray Rice is by very far not the only one who has been made public and when actions are made public such as this there are numerous other actual and potential perpetrators ready for the urge who will not see the video thru the lens of compassion, empathy, justice, right moral thought and action or any other possible or probably deterrent to violence.

In violence the perpetrator is under the influence of chemicals created within their own bodies...the adrenalin and more which you don't get from the neighborhood drug dealer or store or family member. The rush whether aggressive or defensive is huge. What's my point? Ever watch an alcohol commercial and just wish like hell they would not run them on television and in the public eye? Wish because of the propensity to trigger an event? When I watched the video I thought of the men of violence I use to work with in ATV and the national training by CDC which I attended. Only one of the things we talked about and acknowledged was being primed for violence and then getting the release.

What I taught in ATV was that there is "NO" justification for violence. I taught a "3 second, or more tactic" which many were grateful to learn. It was when you feel the trigger insert "3 seconds" before the reaction...do nothing for "3 seconds" before any response and acknowledge that you have just been made fearful. If Rice had done that there would have been no strike and then the statement is moot because of what really did happen and which was seen nationally and certainly internationally.

Would we not rather have watched the alternative practice and that is never shown along with the other available practices which make "there is no justification for violence" a real thought force and behavior. I teach it and I practice it along with the Al-Anon program which tells me that I do not express an opinion on outside issues while involved in the practice of the program. MIP isn't Al-Anon for me at this point. Program language also tells me that I ought not criticize or gossip about others in favor of exercising the love taught to me from within the program.

I understand the alternate views from several angles what broadcast of violence will we hear next?

In support. ((((MIP Ohana)))) family. smile

blessed · Senior Member

No one deserves to be hit, tackled, etc. unless it is truely in self defense. And I beleive the law says something to the effect, only what is necessary, until the threat is removed. For instance in guns shots, 20 shots is more than needed to remove a threat.

Even in karate, they always told the student the best fight is the one you can walk away from. They did not encourage the students to go around practicing their art on people because they could.

I was beat up by a foster minor child once. My minor son defended me and they wanted to press charges against my son as he was not pursued.

We have a legal system, but in cases where you have video that is CLEAR, I don't agree w/ using up our tax dollars. Just throw the bun in jail. Or put him in an elevator w/ someone bigger than him.

The saddest part of this entire story is she still married him. WOW! I won't speculate why. $, fear, he will change, I deserved it.Very sad story all the way around. But, I hope he is banned from the NFL for life. Young people need to see that you can't do this and get a slap on the wrist and pay a small fine.

I loved this from a previous post and totally agree:
It is not them in control, to me it is a demon. Not worth any of my attention.

This/they are demonic. Not other word for it.

-- Edited by blessed on Tuesday 9th of September 2014 10:47:55 PM

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Since domestic violence affects many of us on the board, I don't see it as an outside issue. Violence starts in the home and extends into the community. It may or may not be tied in with alcoholism, but it is something that until about the 70s was kept under wraps and not dealt with at least in my community when I was a much younger woman. Women suffered in silence and without support and were still expected to raise children to productive adulthood while they were being maligned and abused. Since most of those who speak on this board are women and as a woman myself, I am not willing to call our talk gossip but awareness of how some women are treated both in the Al-Anon community and outside of it. I also can see that the violations children were exposed to either by the abuse of their mothers or abuse of them or both without treatment can lead to women/men being married to others with alcohol problems and/or abuse issues or becoming abusers themselves because they identified with their abusive fathers and have no outside challenge to their beliefs until they get into trouble in later years. I won't turn a blind eye to it because it is worth my time and my attention. It is in the home that violence is established and it is the home that the seeds of disease are sown. I understand that several of us disagree about whether or not domestic violence should be in the public eye. I believe it should be just as public knowledge of the torture and murder of other human beings in other countries (WWII as an example) and the civil rights movement in our country made it possible for more people to live rather than die. Some of my training has been with a peace keeper's organization that has learned that being witnessed is a violence curb-er to one who is prone to act their fear out in violent ways. I believe that and I've experienced it to be true. I don't know why she stayed with him and married him. I do know that it is very dangerous to leave an abuser for some without outside supports that can see through the charming veneer that some abusers can produce. I also believe some stay for the same reasons some of us continue to live with an active A. The reasons are varied and multiple. As a person who lived with an abusive husband, I can say that the low opinion and fear of women that existed in my world at that time contributed to my inability to move out of that situation sooner than I did. The perpetuation of lies that were spouted by religious and legal systems also contributed to it for me. I was also part of the women's movement for equal rights for women and that movement contributed to more women earning a living and being educated on things other than training to be a wife. I have a tremendous amount of empathy for abused women and I know the peril they are facing because I've lived it and it sure wasn't because my x had money.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 10th of September 2014 08:12:19 AM

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-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 10th of September 2014 08:49:33 AM

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

there are numerous other actual and potential perpetrators ready for the urge who will not see the video thru the lens of compassion, empathy, justice, right moral thought and action or any other possible or probably deterrent to violence.

I get this statement and am witnessing the violence, even the ongoing repetition of the video is an act of violence. However, I believe we need to SEE it and be outraged and disgusted by the ACTIONS (not the persons) before any rightful steps are taken. I don't see our discussions as gossip or malicious and I believe the topic to be relevant to this board, as many have and continue to be affected by violence as a result of alcohol. Perhaps out of this event, more events will come to light and there will be more education as to recovery methods.

Yes, violent acts have been with us since the beginning of time, yet maybe God is saying to us enough, time for right action. I don't know, this is my humble perspective. hmm

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree, Paula. And NLG, I hope you feel supported as a person who has also experienced physical abuse over which you were powerless. May you continue to grow and to love yourself as a woman who is gift of God's love to our world.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Question? What is it that we do that has enabled the problem to continue and get more dramatic? What is it that we haven't done that has enabled the problem to continue and get more dramatic? How large is the problem and what have I done to reduces its size and affect within and outside of myself?

I know abuse and violence from both as a victim assaulted by both males and females and as a perpetrator. I know abuse and violence also as a healer and behavioral health therapist who helped others who were victims of violence from others and themselves change their lives. This question also is valid regarding alcohol and drug addiction and abuse...what have I done to enable it; what have I done to stop it?

Listening. (((hugs))) smile

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Is the problem more dramatic or is it more noticeable thanks to education, women having more money, and global access that wasn't available to me as a young girl growing up in my own little corner of the world. As to the other questions posed - good ones, Jerry, for those who choose to do an inventory on this if they haven't already?

Although I get what you are saying inre the parallels between alcoholism and drug addiction and abuse: I can't say that a child has enabled it nor do they have the power to stop it. I don't see that a physically disabled person or an animal has enabled it either. I do think abuse has been a cultural norm in many nations and in many countries and I do think that it stems from the patriarchal mindset and the belief human beings are to "dominate nature" rather than work in cooperation with it. Not all families are affected by alcoholism and yet I do think all families in most countries are plagued by dominate thinking. And again - that's just my opinion based on my own learnings, studies, work and life experiences as a woman born into a system dominated mainly by patriarchal thinking that to me damages both men and women. Ah, to have been born before our becoming agricultural, etc. To be a gatherer among hunters would have been much more pastoral.

As an older woman who has been in the helping/healing/empowering fields, I suggest that learning to identify feelings, feeling them without shaming or denial, listening to what they have to teach us and minding the thoughts that are directly connected to those feelings, sharing them with like minded folks and then teaching others how to do the same could take us a long way out of violence and onto the road to true peace as human beings on the road back home to our souls. I've done what I suggest as a possible solution with others and I know it works to bring both men and women together in true community and sends them back into the world as people with kindness and honesty and mercy on their minds. We agreed to share our feelings with each other and to truly listen to one another. We didn't talk too much about what we thought or what we knew. We simply agreed that we were in pain and we learned that identifying, feeling, and expressing our feelings honestly and with encouragement could help Viet Nam vets be restored to mental health and battered women restored to themselves.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 10th of September 2014 01:20:43 PM

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Temple · ~*Service Worker*~

Who knows why anybody stays? Why a woman marries the perpetrator.

But the first thing I thought when she defended him was Stockholm Syndrome.

Being with an abusive man, whether it's physical or sexual or emotional or economic abuse, changes the woman. She may not have all of her best thinking processes available. And in this case, she already had a child with him. Who knows what she might fear if she tries to take the child away from her father.

I can only imagine how painful it is for men to watch this. I know for me, I felt pity and fear and disgust and outrage.

I think the good outweighs the bad. This is what it looks like, people. And this is the attitude that accompanies it. Ray Rice says the 30 sedonds that he can't take back. What about the several minutes after that, when you didn't check on her, comfort her, treat her tenderly, call 911? Why was another person the first one to approach her, touch her, speak to her? If she had shoved you and you'd struck your head, she'd have been all over you, I am sure. Women sometimes fight the police who come to take away the abuser. I saw no tenderness, caring or concern from this man. That needs to be out there. Women who are being hurt, helping pros, families of women who are being hurt, everybody needs to be able to see this.

And I am so sorry if it triggers other men to violence. I hope some awareness is raised and some women will also get more help, have greater clarity, with the viewing.

God Bless us all. So many people are so very, very sick.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Temple: Your share has moved me tremendously. Thank you for it. I have been with people who were attacked at random by people they didn't even know and others attacked by spouses who are meant to protect them. My heart bled with each and every person I encountered who had been brutalized. One woman was simply talking on a pay phone when teens got off a bus and beat her up. Her face was so bloodied, I didn't even recognize her until I could help her across the street into my office. A mentally challenged man was walking home and jumped by someone and beaten to get his wallet that probably only had a dollar or two in it. He ended up in the hospital with a fractured hip and other injuries that disabled him further. I have encountered others who were beaten by their husbands who were police officers or fireman. In each of these cases, nobody was there for the victim of the violence. There was no justice. There was very little interest generated because they were poor, disabled and no account in the eyes of our culture. None of those cases ever showed up in the papers and unless people had been able to witness what I witnessed in relationship to them all, no one would have been touched by it because it doesn't seem real. In the case of the woman beaten by her retired police officer husband, she was thrown on the floor and cuffed by the officers she called for help who believed her husband and not her. Her daughter was also beaten by a sweet talking man she married who seemed benign to all who met him and ended up losing her children because he wouldn't leave her be. He never had charges brought against him for reasons unknown to me. The fact that you saw this video and it hurt your heart is a gift that touches me. What can I do to help others who are victims of violence is such a good question to ponder. Seeing the video and feeling something for the gal who was so meanly treated to me is a very human and loving response to what is not normal to the human condition. We can't help the world, but we can be there for that one person who is battered in ways that support her and help her not continue the violence that has been perpetrated on her or him.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 10th of September 2014 02:32:03 PM

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el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I kind of see tbis as gossip, a bit like you get in the tabloids or celebrity magazines. Its titilation in a way. I understand the need to discuss issues involving violence and alcoholism but I do agree its an outside issue when its referring to people outside the fellowship. Then again were not in a meeting but sometimes we can be side tracked and taken away from our purpose which is recovery from being affected by alcoholism. Im not saying that this post doesnt have value, for me, I hardly gave it a second glance because I didnt know who these people were, I dont feel its any of my business and Im trying to live without gossip in my life. I only read it after so many replys out of sheer curiosity, no offence nlg.
A discussion on domestic violence and alcoholism is important in my view but to discuss strangers In this way, who arent part of the fellowship I thinks takes us from our goal and is an outside issue that can cause distention. Just my view on it, take it if you like.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks for your share, el cee. Honest as always, sister. The greater discussion to me is really about violence and how it affects us, our children, our neighbors and our quality of life. The real question to me has to do with whether or not we care enough about women (and it is usually women and children who are battered) to say as a people "No more." This was an actual assault in our news that has led to many public discussions and may help many women both in the fellowship and outside of it. Robin Williams died and we talked about his death and none of us knew him. So, although I do certainly get what you are saying here, I don't think the discussion was so much about him as it was about violence that affects so many people in the fellowship and several of us posting have been brutalized or tormented by As. As you can see this is a real passion of mine as is the empowerment of women. I may not know this gal who was punched and I have been her.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I hear you grateful, I can see how strongly you feel and its a post that has value as you and others who were able to express themselves from it.
Just my opinion but It reminded me of a facebook post where everythings discussed and debated. I think its wrong to judge the woman, saying shes after money etc. We cant possibly know her motives.
Anyway, its not for me to say what should or should not be posted here, I dont know what will help people or not. Its horrible to think of anyone hurting you, im sorry you experienced that.x

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

(((el cee))) I agree - we can't know anyone's motives and your sentiments were also shared by some of us. You have a tender heart and I do believe that if you saw a person being brutalized by another - drunk or otherwise - you would be one of the first ones there to tend to the person hurt. You're good people, el cee, and I'm glad you feel safe enough to share your mind, sister.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 10th of September 2014 06:36:18 PM

Newlife girl · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi el ee. I thought i explained why i posted about this video. I related it to my own experience and i was having flashbacks so i thought it would be healing for me to discuss it. I really was questioning what happened to me. I am so doubtful of myself that i needed reassurance from my al anon family here about the situation. Like i said, i put my hand over my husbands mouth because he was in a drunken tirade. I was suddenly tackled to the floor because of it. The two acts are not the same. Maybe if i just told my story and not even menioned the video, my post would be more acceptable? I really dont think any of us should be judging why people post what they post. I think most of us are here to get help.

Temple · ~*Service Worker*~

Has anybody else seen the article about the very greatly increased calls to the National Domestic Abuse hotline these past two days?
One thing that made me cry was reading about women who thought that they are the only ones suffering like that, but now know different.

I think this is a very relevant thread, NLG. And I'm so sorry you and Debilyn and Melissa and Grateful and so many of us have been physically abused.

This young woman in the video was once someone's little girl. We all were. Or someone's little boy. I'm sorry Jerry was abused.

I think it needs to be talked about and shown, because too many of the hurt ones feel shame. And too many of the perpetrators think it is their right and that they can get away with it.

And what is it doing to the children who see this?

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree, Temple. I do hope that anyone reading this post who knows they are being abused also knows that you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it but you can get help by calling your local Domestic Assault Shelter or Center or the National Domestic Abuse hotline. Hugs to everyone who has gone through this or is going through this. There is help and hope for you in both Al-Anon and in cases of domestic abuse or assault the Domestic Assault help providers that can be located in your telephone book or on the web.

Thanks for the thread, NLG. It takes courage to share what happened to you and I do hope it never happens to you again. (((NLG & Temple for your post.)))

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 10th of September 2014 08:36:03 PM

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PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Perhaps at some point there will be media discussions about the less obvious, yet, equally as devastating, forms of emotional/ mental / spiritual abuse. Having these kinds of conversations is one way we can contribute to the lessening of violent acts.

Thank you, Temple, for sharing the info regarding calls to the hotline. This info gives me hope.

-- Edited by PP on Wednesday 10th of September 2014 08:42:38 PM

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm with you on that, Paula. I love your share on this.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

All of the shares on this thread have stayed with me today; I appreciate the dialogue.

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

My thoughts run along the lines of, too bad the NFL did the knee jerk reaction thing and fired the guy. Perhaps a better option would have been to announce/create a program designed to actively deal with domestic violence in a way that would educate the couple, the media and society. After going through such a program, the guy could be required to do public service announcements urging victims of dv to seek help because there really is no excuse for domestic abuse. She could be encouraged to make one as well. Sadly, so many of us are programed from an early age to stick it out in that kind of situation, that its our fault somehow, or we are co-contributors at least.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Integrating the 12 steps into our education system would be awesome, huh? Then thoughts/actions would be as you suggested. Maybe even attach a copy to birth certificates? smile

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I think the women's movement has helped reduce DV. As have more organizations and resources for help. Unfortunately, I believe society becoming increasingly violent and worsening substance abuse problems have made it worse. So...This is why it's still a huge issue despite changing times and increased awareness and organizations specifically designed to help victims and educate the public.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.