The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been dealing with my alcoholic/schizophrenic son for more than 15 yrs. he has been to rehabs, incarceration, homelessness,etc. He doesn't seem to have a bottom. The biggest problem that I have with him is that I'm his SS benefits payee. I pay for his room and food and the rest of the money he is using it to drink. I feel hopeless!
I don't think that you can possibly be hopeless - but I do imagine that you are tired and at your wits end, that is a lot to deal with.
Alanon has helped me to relearn how to take care of myself. We all want to give (a lot) to the people that we love, but we can't give from an empty cup and I know that I wore myself out and started to become argumentative and unloving because I forgot to take time to look after myself first and foremost.
Alcoholism is ghastly and it affects everyone that comes into contact with it, not just the person drinking. I think that you will find some marvellous people here who understand in ways that will help you. Going to face to face Alanon meetings has helped me a lot as well, I felt a love and acceptance when I first walked through those doors that I still remember and still feel restored by when I think of it.
I just wanted to welcome you and to thank you for reaching out. I'm sure that you will see others responding as well. Welcome to our world Alicea and sending huge and restorative (((((((hugs)))))))).
Hi Alice and welcome to MIP. You are among very supportive friends here. I am so sorry about your son and I understand your pain. Alcoholism is such a painful (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) disease, and it affects everyone it touches. If you have not found Al-Anon I strongly recommend you search for one in your area. Al-Anon is a program specifically designed for people who have family and friends suffering from alcohol addiction.
((hugs))
Keep coming back!
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
Alcoholism and schizophrenia are huge life partners; feeding on each other and being supportive. I have deep compassion for where you have found yourself and hope you find the face to face meeting room in Al-Anon in your area. The hotline number for Al-Anon should be in the white pages of your local telephone book or you can look up Al-Anon.(your state or district) and links should be available. The program is world wide just as the disease is...(thank you God!!). The presence of a diagnosis of schizophrenia may make you feel even more responsible for and to him however learning and working the tools of the program will help you to learn more helpful behaviors, thoughts, feelings and a spirit rather than the enabling one I had learned that held me hostage for so long. Amazing that when I started to return responsibility and self care back over to my alcoholic/addict wife ...she got sober and accepted the job herself. Sometimes we are not helping...we're interfering. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
You're his payee??? God love you. The work I've recently retired from involved working with some folks who had payees. It's a thankless job. In addition to Al-Anon, I'd like to suggest that maybe you could check into Guardian or another resource to be his payee? I know that there are lots of temper tantrums, accusations and threats to sue from some although I'm not sure that is your son? If so, its hard enough being his Mom let alone his payee. Utilizing a non-profit set up to handle his income on his behalf could be a stress reliever for you?
Keep coming back. Al-Anon can be a good source of encouragement and support for you, too.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 7th of September 2014 01:51:12 PM
Along with the others, I just wanted to welcome you. I hope you'll keep coming back to share with us. We've all been affected by alcoholism in some way who come here but our stories although similiar in some ways are as individualized and personal as the people in this program. There's lots of loving support available here and hope :) If you havent been to in person alanon meeting and can get to them, your efforts toward self care will be doubled as will the unconditional love you'll receive. I'm sorry your family is struggling at this time. I hope you'll keep joining us to read, share and learn from one another. (((hugs)) TT
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Monday 8th of September 2014 08:32:18 PM
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
