The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
That odaat recently has been amazing, either that or ive become more open. This is the third time round that im reading the daily readings and its like I never read it before. Today spoke to me. It starts with a questiin, 'have I been trying to live the alanon program?' This got me thi king right away because if im really honest, I dont try to live it for a full day, only moments in the day. Im better if I take breaks in my day to reread or connect with my hp. Maybe thats as good as it gets or maybe I can make more of an effort. I want to live this program.
It then states that I should be learning to overcome my tendancy to control, manipulate, direct others etc. Well I dont have to look far to find examples where im still doing this. Its gave me a sense of freedom again because its reminded me that I dont need to do this with anyone in my life. Sometimes I get confused with my mother role, I can get a bit interfering and controlling and its through fear but also this sense of duty I feel towards my children as if I own them or I owe them me and my life.
' I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic or watch over him, counsel him or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decisions as I have, since he must suffer from them if they are wrong.'
Im feeling very grateful right now to have this wisdom that I get at my fingertips.
Thanks for your share in relationship to this reading, el cee. I can remember when I first met you on line and can certainly see all the progress you have made in this program and in your own life. You have made so many changes that were so difficult for you at the time. Maybe you haven't worked the program consciously at all times during the day, but your progress shows me that you have been working it and working it wisely and well. Even recognizing that you can still interfere and attempt to control at times is huge progress for any of us in Al-Anon. We're so busy being focused on "others" before we begin working the program earnestly, we can't even see that we are interfering and believing there is something we can do to control a person, the progression of the disease, or an outcome. As a parent, I can certainly celebrate with you, too, the freedom we've experienced in recognizing we don't "own" our kids and we don't owe them our lives - especially as adults themselves. Learning the difference between being responsible for our kids and being responsible to them as adults is huge!
LC, I love the ODAT and C2C I often read a page and discover or rediscover new meaning for my life, I guess it is because I am at a different place each year and have grown more spiritually and that is why I can "See".
I love this program and the growth it provides. It truly is a lifetime undertaking and I look for progress not perfection Your growth, and awareness indicates a true Miracle in Progress
I was feeling somewhat down today, but I have come to this board and found two of the best pieces of advice. It amazes me when my HP knows what I need even before I know myself.
The first piece of advice came from pinkchip:
"That is why it's best to just live your life, use Alanon to insulate yourself from the damage of the disease on a daily basis, and keep your sense of happiness, well-being, and security between you and your HP."
and the next piece came from el-cee:
"I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic or watch over him, counsel him or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decisions as I have, since he must suffer from them if they are wrong.'
Thanks! I had become somewhat stagnant in my thinking. These two pieces of advice gave me the jolt I needed to keep moving and keep working it.
It works if you work it!
-- Edited by cloudyskies on Saturday 6th of September 2014 06:46:47 PM
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
Cloudyskies, that is why I stop by at least once a day for a few hours, because there is always those great "jolts" that get me back on the right track!!
-- Edited by Debb on Saturday 6th of September 2014 04:29:02 PM
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
