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Post Info TOPIC: Made a divorce list


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1662
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Made a divorce list


I made a list of why my dry ah and i are getting divorced. It is not

pretty. I put it on my ipad so i can read it as often as i need

to. I have been in a lot of emotional pain and crying often. My head 

has been spinning, someone on a divorce forum mentioned writing a list

to reread when we needed a reality check of what really has been going 

on in our life With H . Living with an abusive dry drunk has been h**l.

He has been cheating again and wants out of the marriage to be with his

aa gf.

 



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Senior Member

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Great idea Mirandac. I shall make one too. Will check divorce forums too. Didn't know they exist.
My H is not taking my decision too well, he thinks there is hope. I need to keep strong as I know I don't want him but financial circumstances at the moment make it harder for me to go forward. I must not get comfortable again.

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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 7576
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Seeing in black and white or blue and white the pros and cons of living with a person with this disease and the ways the disease has affected and is affecting us - good idea. Putting it on paper so I could see what was happening in my mind and heart and in my relationships - great stress reducer.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



Member

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I think that's a great idea. You have to put yourself first. Stay strong :)

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Yasmen


~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks for the loving support


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~*Service Worker*~

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I think having a plan of action is a good way. Good luck to you!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1661
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Writing lists always seems to clarify complex situations, hope you continue to find peace.

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 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1662
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I Attended a divorce care seminar tonite. Much like alanon, God based.
Small group 7 people, showed short video includes workbook,discussion
Before and after. Tonite was road to healing/finding help. It was great!

I do know there is hope at the end of the tunnel, it will take a year to get
Back to normal and start growing again in alanon.



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~*Service Worker*~

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I am so glad you did this for yourself, Mirandac! Al-Anon and whatever other supports that are healing and helpful for you - perfect!

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

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You are an inspiration grateful. Thank you for all your ESH

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~*Service Worker*~

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aww



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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 938
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The divorce workshop sounds great. I need to find something like that.

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Living life one step at a time



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 661
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Hi Mirandac,

I also made a list on my computer and referred to it (and added to it) whenever I was doubtful of myself. It was very helpful and helped me to clarify why I needed to move forward ("When nothing happens, nothing happens...)

DivorceCare was a lifesaver for me. Very helpful- good information and great support. I met some very nice people who were also hurting like me. Sharing our experiences (like we do in Al-Anon) helped all of us to heal.

-GE

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1662
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thank you for your support. I have list on my ipad under lock and key.
Will update as needed.

Yes loved the divorce care. www.divorcecare.org to find in your area

I just have a hard time wirh the why "dry ah is doing this to me???"

I know its the disease winning.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 7576
Date:

QTIP perhaps Mirandac? The disease may be winning with him. It won't be winning with you. You're in Al-Anon and you have reached out for more support. Breaking that isolation is such a huge, huge step in our own recovery process. Dry or drinking, the disease is what it is and it continues to progress until the host gets into a recovery program and works it in earnest.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1662
Date:

Thank you for the wisdom grateful.


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