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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Went to check on ex AH
Post Info TOPIC: Went to check on ex AH
Debilyn


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Went to check on ex AH
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Went to lunch with my two wonderful dingy long time friends. Then the said ok we are going to see if R is still alive.

Found the apt. not home, but this wonderful gal neighbor was only too happy to fill us in. Sadly the older lady he lived with died. So he has been alone there since last october. He must have gotten his social security as he is still there. she said he is so skinny and walks really slow. Was shocked when we told her how old he is. She thought much much older.

Says he walks to visit his sister and does not drive. so tweaker sis is till alive.

I did not go up to door.

ummm I feel sad he is so sick but expected it. I have no idea if he is drinking or using. Wanted to stop there on my way back up the mountain but was too tired.

Now that I know he is alone, I am sure I will go check on him. Checked on him all my life but never after this long before. My friend said well deb maybe you could be friends. I said no. Why?  why? why would I want a sick addict as a friend?  He is beyond help now I am sure. Probably a pickle on legs. Which of course makes me very sad. He was the best husband I could have asked for when he was in recovery. I was blessed to be married to him the only time he was in recovery.

anyway that mystery is solved now.

such a horrible horrible slow killing disease. This man spent his life using everything you can think of, taking hundreds of pills in a few days, heroin, hep c cancer brain tumor. made me cry to write that. such a poor poor sould. such a beautiful man, who will never know what a cool wife and son he has.

I would say the F word but Betty would delete it...smile. letcha know when I go see him....



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Luiza


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(((Debilyn)))

I always admire your ability to see the good in people even when they cause you pain and disappointment.


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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
grateful2be


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(((D))) HP love you, sister, and HP bless him, too.

And - I think we all know what the F word might be. I'll bet most all of us if not all of us understand, too. We might not say it and it doesn't mean it doesn't come up in our minds from time to time. Maybe HP is okay with it at times, too. "Sons of vipers" sounds pretty curse(y) to me.



-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 29th of August 2014 03:00:43 PM

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
hotrod


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Dear Deb Off line, I have used the "F" word on many occasions:) I do undestand completely . Prayers for you and all your family

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
PP


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I say itsmile You have a big heart, Deb.



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Paula
Cathyinaz


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I will say some prayers for him and for you. Your kindness is incredible. We love you and are there for you...

((( hugs )))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

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tiredtonite


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Sigh... girl, girl, girlno   ((((((hugs))))))))  TT 

 



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
likemyheart


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Long ago when I was young and impressionable, someone told me that it didn't matter the exact word, it was the sentiment. Sugar was the same as the other sh sounding word if you can exchange one for the other so I should always watch my epithets. It doesn't mean I don't use sharp words, but I do try not to around others. I try to think like Pooh saying "oh bother" and often use the phrase "rats on a pancake" in place of real swear words especially when driving my school bus.

Its horrible to see someone you will always care about in such bad shape. I"m sorry!

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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
bud


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(((Debilyn))) What a brave and courageous thing you have done! I understand your hurt and how it can ache deeply and I know that we can also be on a healing path. You don't have to decide anything at the moment and you can start any day over at any time. Do what feels right for you and do your best to not attach expectations if you decide to visit him. Sending prayers.


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Debilyn


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Bud I gave up doing the expectations of anything many years ago. I honestly have zero. Not for the weather, men or a watermelon I open up.

Just take things as they come. I have had things jerked away from me since my young southern kiddo husband died in 81. I found to do a day at a time was the best. To trust and love my HP with all my heart and soul, and treat others as I love the me that HP is helping me to be and become.

Its very freeing.

Thank you for all the wonderful shares here. made my evening....(c:



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
milkwood


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(((Debilyn))))

I love your acceptance of people (and the lottery that a watermelon holds for us!)

I had to smile at your post. Earlier this morning I was having a bit of an internal rant and it was taking the form of a mental picture of what I would write to my friends here at MIP. When I hit on the F word I, like you Debilyn, had an image of Betty having to step in with the delete expletive button so I changed my word to 'fiddlesticks' which made me giggle instead! (Don't ask others to do for you what you can do for yourself!) Problem solved.

Betty, thank you for being such a wonderful and positive influence in my life!!

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hotrod


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Milkwood Thanks for being so aware :) You all make my day so much easier :)

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
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