Fed up and need advice. - Al-Anon Family Group

fedup75 · Newbie

Fed up and need advice.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome, you have come to the right place. Alanon is a fellowship where people living with alcoholism can get help to live full happy lives whether the drinker is sober or not. There are meetings all around the world, check out the website for your nearest meeting. Its a program of recovery as we are affectedb by the drinking in many ways. It was the best move I made. Good luck.x

Letitgo · Newbie

I can relate to you, I have been married to my AH for 14 years, I have two children ages 7 and 4, in May I decided I can't live like this anymore and decided to get a divorce. I went to a friend that is a lawyer and she recommended that I try divorce mediation. Also, we just bought our house a year ago and now we have to sell it. We can't afford to pay mortgage and rent at same time. So we are living under same roof but different rooms until the house is sold. It is very hard, but I've been going to f2f meetings and doing online meetings to get thru it. I know it's only tempory. I'm keeping it simple and one day at a time.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome! I remember so many times feeling so desperate that I believed my only option was to leave. Then I began seeing an addiction counselor and attending al anon meetings and realized early that if I left before I had good footing in my recovery, I would just go back or attract another addict. I had to place my healing above all else so I could make choices from a clear place.

I like what both el cee and Letigo posted. Al Anon face to face meetings and diligent recovery work on your part (which you will learn through working the 12 steps at al anon meeting) will help you make the best choices for you and your life. Until then, put all the decisions you think you need to make and the reasons you cannot do this or that on the back burner. You will be guided to make the decisions when the time is right. Keep coming back!

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I have nothing to add to the suggestions made already regarding therapy and alanon participation. There is no simple answer, but multiple ones. If he drinks himself to death...well that will be a very sad thing, but not one that you caused. Alcoholism will have done that. If you have been paying the mortgage, then I assume you could pay rent if you have to.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP, fedup You are not alone--- Please keep coming back and do check out the alanon face to fae meetings in your community There is hope and help for you .

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Nothing to add except Welcome to MIP.

fedup75 · Newbie

Thanks for all of the answers....My local meeting is during the day and I can't attend then because I work full time. Are there any online meetings or one to one sessions?

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Yes we hold on line meetings here 2xs a day

Morning Meetings

Mon. - Fri. at 9am EST

Sat. - Sun at 10am EST

Each Sunday morning at 10 am EST, we will be having a Spiritual meeting with a topic relating to the Spiritual part of our program.

Night Meetings

Mon-Saturday 9PM eastern time

Sunday 7PM eastern time

Each Thursday night at 9PM EST, we will be having a Step/Tradition Meeting to help new people get to know and understand how to work the 12 steps.
After going through one Step per week, and getting through the 12 of them, we then start a Tradition a week on this same night.

Here is the link

meetinginfo.activeboard.com/

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

He is already drinking himself to death.

What we learn in al anon is to look at our needs. Let go of what we can and move on in the relationship or not.

With kids this is a terribly hard thing to go thru for all of you.

If you can pay for this place, then one can get out and find another home yes? Its his home apparently.

Myself I would quit paying the mortgage for however long, then put money away to take me and the kids where it is safe and a home. that is my experience as far as leaving.

I don't know how one would separate in the same house.

Yes they do get worse. Our human bodies cannot take being poisoned. He is poisoning and destroying his body. well the disease is. but only he can hit a place towant help. we can do nothing.

I hope you keep coming. we are here for you. love, debilyn

fedup75 · Newbie

Once again thank you for the advice...

hotrod.....Can you give me a bit more info about the online meetings....I couldn't find the one for this evening.

Thanks

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Sunday 7 PM EST Here is the link to the Board.

meetinginfo.activeboard.com/

Hee is the link to the meeting room

http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.