The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I forgot to say, I started my new course last week. (mental health/drug and alcohol).
It felt SO GOOD to get up, DRIVE myself somewhere and spend the days with other grown-ups doing grown-up stuff! (Well actually, there was an awful lot of giggling and at one point we built towers out of colored straws and sticky-tape LOL) but, you know. It felt amazing after all these long months...almost 2 years in fact...of staying indoors and avoiding the world. Would it surprise anyone at all if I said that when we shared a little about why we were doing the course, everyone came from a background of having an alcoholic or drug addicted parent or spouse? Funny, the ways we cope. It's also interesting how much focus there is on SELF-care, self defense (which they urge us all to take advantage of discounted classes in); there are elements to this that I hadn't considered and all in all I think it's going to be an extremely positive and healthy undertaking for me.
I felt so encouraged by this that I pulled out my books and started tackling my naturopathy studies which have been on hiatus for a while. I have an appointment with the course coordinater next week to work out how where and when I will resume the course and finish it. I feel incredibly positive, all in all. But that wasn't the end of it.
After my first class, I was standing outside the venue and I noticed that the magic shop over the road had changed; well I went over and met the new owner who is adding a cafe to the business. We got talking about tarot..and talking and talking and talking.....she said she would sit with me and teach me what she knows (I collect tarot cards, it's my "hobby") and then she "sold" me some crystals but only charged me a few dollars instead of the considerable price tag "because I just feel that is all I need to charge you and you need these". Well, then we talked and talked and talked and talked until I think my daughter (who had come to meet me after school) almost broke her knees from doing that impatient bobbing up and down thing kids do when they are bored....
ANYWAY as luck would have it I forgot to take my crystals with me and had to go back for them the next day, and she said she had thought over our conversation and decided to begin her own tarot class and to use ME as her practice student before she unleashes it on the public...IF I would be interested....lol, is a bear Catholic? That sounds like a whole lot of FUN to me and an extra-curricular class just for fun sounds like a REALLY good idea to me right now!!! Plus I think I think I made a friend AND I'll ask her about a job in the cafe when it opens because as far as part-time work goes, making coffee in a magic shop sounds pretty bearable to me!!!
So, you know, in spite of the hard stuff, there are nice things going on as well. I'm happy today
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Good on ya gal... apart from some v e r y obvious differences you remind me of me at the same age... . It took me a while to go get a life, but once I got started there was no stopping me...
words like 'intelligent', 'talented' spring to mind...
maybe hidden under a bit of a clowd; but there with those with eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to sense.
A sense of belonging here is a great asset... (for others reading this)- we are neighbours, not so much 'over the fence'
but, as we say it 'over the ditch'. we share the same sense of humour... and the same sense of hope, and peace.
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I do feel pleased, Catherine.
At the start of the week, in the days before I began the course the anxiety was really getting out of control and to be honest the first morning of class I was so fearful I just about threw up on the floor. I don't know why, really, I guess I hadn't realised the extent of my own sequestration. So at the start of the week, I was feeling just awful...I feel so nervy driving alone still, I was feeling awful about starting classes and didn't want to go, miserable about the thought of moving house and being alone...to be honest my primary thought a few days ago was "I shouldn't have tried any of this. I'm not built for it, I'm going to have a breakdown" kind of stuff, and it really was unpleasant...shaking, sick stomach, dizzy spells, oh WHY did I go and START all of these crazy ideas instead of hiding in my quiet safe room where nothing much happens???
But hey, I pushed on and everything worked the way it should have with some nice surprises thrown in for good measure so what's not to be happy about
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
It sounds like your positive energy is attracting lots of positives into your life, I like that! Well done dear Melly, and thank you for sharing the journey here. Thank you also for admitting to the nerves as you stepped out on your new path(s), that really helps me. There are many times that I have retreated from doing the right thing because I thought that those nerves were telling me something, but actually I guess they are just our old defences worrying about loosing their elevate position in our lives. I'll honour those defences but also ask them to relax and take a holiday so that I can open the doors and let more positive events in.
Good on ya gal... apart from some v e r y obvious differences 
you remind me of me at the same age... 